Update on my dissapperance.

[mommybytheWord]

Hi, well most of you probably don't even remember me here. I was very active until early June.

My father commited suicide on June 27th. This was very unexpected as I am sure mamy deaths are. So for the past months I have been thrown into the most stressfull time ever. (and I thought that staying home with our three boys, homeschooling, and being prego was hard!!!) Anyway, My father lived single for 24yrs and never had more childern. So I am handeling it all, the funeral arrangements, estate, and all the crap he left me with all the while trying to raise our boys and deal with his death.


I am back and hope to enjoy the fun as our babies are soon to be born!!!



Update on my pregnancy,


I did go and have that 3d/4d ultrasound and we are having a....








Girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:


I am so glad. After three boys the change will be fun. I cannot wait to see my hubby with a daughter. She will be the cherry on top!


I have been lurking a couple of times this past couple months and I love reading all the threads!

[sorteep]

OHH mamma, I am so sorry for your loss.. many many prayers and hugs.. I am so happy you found your way back here and welcome back! congrats on your baby girl! how exciting..

prayers for peace to you

Laura

[Isaac'sMa]

WOW. Mama, I do remember you and I am SO sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what you are going through. Please use our DDC for the support you can get here. I hope you are able to get some support IRL as well and are able to take some time for yourself in the midst of all the stress. My thoughts are with you and I hope you and your family find peace and healing.

p.s. I am glad you're having a girl- after 3 boys that will be fun!

[yogachick79]

Like the others, so very sorry for your loss

Also very very glad to see you back and congrats on a little girl! Is DH nervous or excited or both?!

[GooeyRN]

I am sorry for your loss. I am glad you found your way back here. Girls are wonderful! I have one now, and think I have a boy on the way. I have to say girls are just wonderful in every way!

[Grace24]

for your loss.

Congrats on your girl! How's the pregnancy otherwise? Good? Welcome back!

[scheelimama]

What a terrible loss. I'm so sorry.

Congrats on getting a girl this time!!!

[GinaRae]

Wow. That's really such a stressful thing to go through at any time, but especially when pregnant! Take care of yourself!


I have three boys and would love a girl this time, but that might scare me too! CONGRATS!!

[sandiegokristi]

I am so sorry for your loss and my thoughts are with you and your family.

Congrats on your baby girl! How exciting for you and your family!

[gcgirl]

[lisalulu]

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your father. I'll keep you and your family in my thoughts.

Congrats on your little girl!

[welldone]

So sorry for your loss. What a difficult summer you've been having!

And congrats on your little girl! We're having a boy after two girls, so I know a little of the anticipation you feel. Are you like me, wondering where all the opposite gender-appropriate baby clothes are going to come from?

[crystalalene]

Welcome back!!

I am so sorry about the loss of your dad.

It sounds like you are staying strong, mama. Glad to see you here.
And, girls are great--congrats!!!

[renaissanceed]

Condolences on your loss.

We are glad to see you back here and hope to give you some support in these last few months before we get to meet our new babes. Hurray for girls!

[isosmom]

So sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine the amount of stress you are under right now. I lost my brother to suicide almost 2 years ago and know how terribly hard it is. Sending you strength.

[mittendrin]

Welcome back! I am sorry to hear about your father and that you alone have to deal with all of it now.
How exciting to hear that you are expecting a girl! Congrats!

[mommybytheWord]

Wow, thank you for all the cares! It really means a ton. I wish there was support here like this. I just got kicked into the suck it up and deal with it mode.


Some of you asked how the pregnancy is going. Well, I'm not sick anymore but have a TON of heartburn. I never eat after 5pm or I'm in for it. I have not done a thing yet for the baby. We have been so busy having the estate auction, selling his house, paying his bills, all with the help of the most dingy layer known to man! Everything is in probate. He had life insurance left for me but with a suicide it is all void!: Eventhough suicide it concidered to be a result of a serious mental illiness.


I have a few girl things. But need blankets and other girl things. $$ is tighter than ever. Gas and x-tra expences for the death is killing us. I just put the few diapers I have in the washer to freshen them up. I need more but I see as I was away for the months they suspended me fron the TP due to to many posts there. I was active there this spring selling stuff from my spring cleaning so I have NO idea where to get good used diapers.??? I'll probably have to use sposies too.:



Again thank you!!!!!!!!

[MamaHippo]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending you big hugs and prayers for peace and healing. Glad to hear you're having a good pregnancy and are awaiting a little girl! Sounds like she will be the most protected little girl ever, with a daddy and 3 older brothers to look out for her.
Good to see you back!

[lab]

Not a mommy to be at all. My kids are 13, 12 and 10. I just happened upon the thread and thought I would jump in.

mommybytheword,

I am so sorry for your loss. I really do know exactly how you are feeling. My brother committed suicide on Feb 19th and I found him on the 24th. Like you, funeral arrangement and estate closing feel to me. My good friends, who lost a daughter at the age of 22, shared with me that during her grieving process, she came to learn that suicide is the hardest to deal with for surviving family.

From what everyone tells me, it takes a solid year to work past most of the pain. At the stage you are at, I would imagine the day to day loss of just missing your Dad is kicking in. For me, the 6th month marker was very devastating and I felt like I was living through the entire thing again.

More I don't know about you - but I try really hard to ignore all of the regrets and blame that pop into my head..........

eta - this is my brother in my siggie

[mommybytheWord]

Originally Posted by lab

Not a mommy to be at all. My kids are 13, 12 and 10. I just happened upon the thread and thought I would jump in.

mommybytheword,

I am so sorry for your loss. I really do know exactly how you are feeling. My brother committed suicide on Feb 19th and I found him on the 24th. Like you, funeral arrangement and estate closing feel to me. My good friends, who lost a daughter at the age of 22, shared with me that during her grieving process, she came to learn that suicide is the hardest to deal with for surviving family.

From what everyone tells me, it takes a solid year to work past most of the pain. At the stage you are at, I would imagine the day to day loss of just missing your Dad is kicking in. For me, the 6th month marker was very devastating and I felt like I was living through the entire thing again.

More I don't know about you - but I try really hard to ignore all of the regrets and blame that pop into my head..........

eta - this is my brother in my siggie

Thank you for responding. I feel like I was the only person that loved my dad and saw past his problems. I loved to see him light up at the sight of my childern. I guess because I have not morned and I just do not have the time. I am still so mad at him. I hate to be that way but I am just soooooooooo angry with him. Who did he think was going to take care of things? There is no one but me. I have a baby in the way all the while trying to raise my boys and be a good wife. I have been none of that since his death and I am filled with tons of anger all day. Smiling is hard to do. Last night my oldest said that he cannot wait until this is all over because to has been a " rough time". I just wish it would all pass. I think that getting a call that there has been a accident or he got sick would have been easier. But all I can think is of I would have been home to get his last call just minutes before he hung that I might have been able to help him. I wish I would have taken the signs more seriously. Arggggh! I was at church running the activities for our summer VBS at the time of his call.