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"Forgetting the pain"? That's a JOKE

post #1 of 90
Thread Starter 
What's all this "Well, God made our bodies forget the pain! Otherwise the human race wouldn't have continued"

What a bunch of balogne.

For me, anyway.

I remember every single stabbing contraction as if it happened an hour ago.

Who here agrees/disagrees with the statement "forgetting the pain" and do explain WHY?

I swear I'm going to snap at the next family member that suggests it AGAIN.

Ugh.

-Caitrin
post #2 of 90
My last baby was born just over 2 years ago and I'm having to really concentrate to even kind of remember how much it hurt. I *know* it really hurt but it's more of a memory that I have to work hard to remember than something that I can feel. If you had asked this 2 years ago, I certainly could have remembered every contraction and just how much it hurt. How old is your baby? I'm sure there are people out there that don't forget or that time does not dull the memory.
post #3 of 90
I can remember it, intellectually, but my body has largely forgotten the pain. In fact, that's one of the ways I determined when to listen to my body on the subject of having more children. After my first was born, within a couple months a rosy glow fell over my memories and while I "remembered" the pain, it just didn't seem that bad. All 18 hours of it, including the 8 stuck in transition. By 6 months PP, I wanted another baby quite badly and was willing to go through labor again.

After ds was born, I was quite sure I was done having children. Lo and behold, 14 months later, there's no rosy glow and I really don't want to go there again. I know I could handle it, but I don't want it. Which just backs up my feeling that there are no more babies waiting for us to get busy so they can be born. After dd was born I strongly felt a little boy waiting for us to get a move on. And when ds was born, I felt completion.
post #4 of 90
How long ago did you give birth?

I remember the trauma of my c-section but the pain of labor just fades into the background. I actually don't remember what a contraction feels like, all I remember is that there was an intense grinding pain in my lower back. THAT I will never forget!
post #5 of 90
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kerrie View Post
My last baby was born just over 2 years ago and I'm having to really concentrate to even kind of remember how much it hurt. I *know* it really hurt but it's more of a memory that I have to work hard to remember than something that I can feel. If you had asked this 2 years ago, I certainly could have remembered every contraction and just how much it hurt. How old is your baby? I'm sure there are people out there that don't forget or that time does not dull the memory.
Wow.

Wish I could say that too.

-Caitrin
post #6 of 90
Thread Starter 
8 flippin' months ago.

And in my mind- more like 8 hours ago.

I want a big family- at least 8 kids. It's what I was brought up with and it's what my husband was brought up with.

But I seriously have doubts when I think about the pain of those wretched contractions.

Then again, I did have pitocin and I don't know what "natural ones" feel like. Perhaps it's different?

-Caitrin
post #7 of 90
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by lotus.blossom View Post
How long ago did you give birth?

I remember the trauma of my c-section but the pain of labor just fades into the background. I actually don't remember what a contraction feels like, all I remember is that there was an intense grinding pain in my lower back. THAT I will never forget!
Wow. I feel like a looser

-Caitrin
post #8 of 90
I remember quite vividly how much it hurts but I'll do it again because it was worth it.
post #9 of 90
Thread Starter 
P.S.- I still have vivid nightmares about giving birth.

-Caitrin
post #10 of 90
well, I know I felt pain, but after a year or so I couldn't describe the pain to anyone. Now, after 13 years, I question whether or not I felt pain. (which I know isn't the case at all!!!)

So, yes, there is some truth physiologically to the amnesiac affect of labor...not to mention the reward is so sweet that we seem to reason it out in our minds.

I had Pitocin, too - and those contractions are crazy in pattern, frequency and intensity. Plus it is harder for your hormones to work in a nice release pattern to help with the intensity...I remember reading somewhere that the release of endorphins is much lower when synthetic oxytocin is used. Which makes sense.

i also believe that traumatic births (be it the surprise of pain or things that were done to us, how we were violated) will keep that pain at the forefront. you're not a loser - I would just encourage you to see someone who works with women's issues to get past your anger. it really helped me.
post #11 of 90
Sorry, gotta disagree with you - it's just a distant memory for me (3-1/2 yrs and then 14 months ago - 15 hrs of labor, 4 hours of pushing and 2 c-sections with associated recovery), and while I'm done having children for various reasons, the pain of childbirth is not one of them. I honestly even have a hard time remembering my incision pain, even though I know it affected me much more the second time around than the first time. The only thing I still remember is when I was giving DS piggyback rides and I was 10 weeks postpartum with DD - NOT a good idea - yeah, that had me down for the count for a few days while my abdomen healed up a little from that. But aside from that searing pain , I don't remember the pain of labor or pushing, or even the early weeks of section recovery

BUT, I believe people feel pain differently, so I don't know that it's valid for any one person to comment on what another person is feeling or remembers feeling. I've been told I have a high pain tolerance by several healthcare professionals, but it's all subjective, isn't it? Whatever pain YOU feel is the pain you feel, and it's valid. I'm sorry that it's still causing you distress and your family is not being sympathetic!
post #12 of 90
Quote:
Originally Posted by Celticqueen View Post
Then again, I did have pitocin and I don't know what "natural ones" feel like. Perhaps it's different?

-Caitrin
Well, I've had both (first labor was spontaneous, second was induced for Pre-E) and I'll give you this much - Pitocin contractions SUCK a lot more than spontaneous, natural ones.
post #13 of 90
Quote:
Then again, I did have pitocin and I don't know what "natural ones" feel like. Perhaps it's different?
Totally, totally, totally different in my experiences. My Pitocin experience was the WORST, out of control pain whereas my natural, homebirth labors weren't even close to touching the horror of my Pit-induced labor. I'm serious. There was no way anyone could have convinced me that I'd ever have another baby if you'd asked me during the first two years after my first was born. Within hours of having my second baby---I actually said, "I can't wait to do that again." Not to say there wasn't pain or parts where I thought I couldn't handle it...not like that at all. Just an entirely different type of pain. If you check out the Mothering Magazine links that are in the top of the forum, there's a great article about "Ecstatic Birth" which talks about the hormonal blueprint for labor and how messing with the process can be so detrimental to mama and baby...

And you are SO not a loser
post #14 of 90
Quote:
Originally Posted by The4OfUs View Post
Pitocin contractions SUCK a lot more than spontaneous, natural ones.
Totally! I've had 2 spontanous labors and 1 w/pitocin and that one by far was the worst.
post #15 of 90
So not a loser! I didn't intend for you to feel that way!

I'd hate to have to feel what a pit induced contraction felt like. I had a posterier asynclitic baby who was pressing on my sacrum so hard that I didn't even hardly feel contractions in my belly.

I hope that you will be able to process your pain so that you can fulfill you desires for more children. Have you read Birthing from Within? Its in my library of books but I haven't quite cracked it open yet.
post #16 of 90
Quote:
Originally Posted by Celticqueen View Post
Then again, I did have pitocin and I don't know what "natural ones" feel like. Perhaps it's different?
Oh, my, yes! Pitocin is evil. *shudder* My first was a pitocin-induced birth and it was really rough even before I got an epidural at 4 cm. With my next three I used hypnosis and for the most part was quite comfortable. Spontaneous labor is much easier in my experience!
post #17 of 90
a memory for me as well. intellectually i know it hurt, but the moment my babies were out, the pain, its impact, were gone completely!
post #18 of 90
I had a first birth that I found traumatic (although it was an uncomplicated homebirth) and I remember thinking the same thing. I could conjure the pain up very easily for a long time! With my second birth (a very natural UC), I really did forget about the pain fast. Really, really fast. I remember being freaked and hurting in transition, but very quickly forgot anything about what it felt like.
post #19 of 90
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kerrie View Post
My last baby was born just over 2 years ago and I'm having to really concentrate to even kind of remember how much it hurt. I *know* it really hurt but it's more of a memory that I have to work hard to remember than something that I can feel. If you had asked this 2 years ago, I certainly could have remembered every contraction and just how much it hurt. How old is your baby? I'm sure there are people out there that don't forget or that time does not dull the memory.
I feel the same way even after 65 hrs of labor and many of them with painful back labor. I know i made it through that so I know I can do anything and I can't wait to again. (Even though I have made up my mind things will be different next time around)
post #20 of 90
I was so sure afterward I would *never* forget the pain. Well....it's kinda blurry now 3 years later.

I'm starting to plan the new babe's birth and trying to remember *why* I have this distinct memory of it being so painful and I can't recall any specifics at all. Just a loose, "It hurt!"

I was considering using hypnobabies or a birth tub, or some other relief method, but now since I honestly can't recall the specifics I wonder if it's worth the investment. Yeah, I know I'll be in pain for another 15 hours or so, but if I can't really remember it much later on, is it so bad after all?
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