Unschoolers ~ WWYD

[MarineWife]

The child I'm asking this for is 3 and 3/4s. He'll be 4 in January. My question is: do you limit TV? We tend to stay home a lot and when we do my ds watches a lot of TV. Most people I know think almost all TV is bad, bad, bad! We only have one planned activity every week, dance class. We go to AP playdates a few times a month and get together with friends randomly. Other than that we just do daily life stuff, like grocery shopping, preparing food, laundry. etc., etc. Mostly ds just watches me but he does help or participate when he wants. When we're doing nothing the TV is usually on. Most of the time he's not really sitting in front of it watching it. It's more like background noise for him while he plays. He does learn a lot from TV, including Spongebob. He was talking to me about cement today when we saw a cement truck and it turned out everything he knew he learned from watching Spongebob.

What do you all think? Is this a bad thing? Or, maybe this is an unanswerable question since unschooling is all about what the child wants to do, anyway.

[SagMom]

Originally Posted by MarineWife

We only have one planned activity every week, dance class. We go to AP playdates a few times a month and get together with friends randomly. Other than that we just do daily life stuff, like grocery shopping, preparing food, laundry. etc., etc. Mostly ds just watches me but he does help or participate when he wants.

Well, I don't think tv is "bad" but if he's watching it not because he wants to, but because there's nothing else to do, then I'd offer other things. Again, not because there's anything wrong with tv, but just for variety's sake.

[Ruthla]

It doesn't sound like he's glued to the TV all day- he's still playing and being creative and doing other stuff, just with the TV on in the background. I wouldn't worry about it.

[ShaggyDaddy]

In our house we feel that arbitrary limits usually have the opposite of the desired effect. I was limited to 30 minutes of TV a day when I was little, and all it meant was that any time I could get away with it I would "sneak" TV and I would seek out friends who would let me come to their house to watch it, and once my mom had to go to work... we would watch TV for 10 hours a day completly zoned out like zombies. Compare it to my DW who will multitask beautifly instead of zombifying and had the TV on 24x7 growing up.

DS and DD will play inside with the TV on, they will walk away, they won't resist going outside (hah), and they could really take it or leave it. Usually they want something to be on, but it is not like they watch it... it is just for resting stimulation, or dancing "instruction" mostly.

Maybe it would be different if my kids weren't "fly-by watchers", but they can have as much television as they want, and I think that is precisely why they don't particularily value or crave TV time, because it is nothing special.

[Dakota's Mom]

My son is addicted. He would watch tv from 7 am till midnight if we let him. I hae imposed a rule that there is no tv until daddy is home. Now the first words out of his mouth when daddy walks in the door are, "Dada's home now can I watch tv. On weekends he was again watching for hours. I have now imposed a rule of only one hour at a time. He can watch for an hour and then off for an hour or longer and then another hour. But I also limit what he watches. He has never been able to watch corporate tv, Barney, Spongebob, Things like that. He does watch Magic School Bus, Mythbusters, and Dirty Jobs mostly. These are set up to be recorded whenever they are on with the dvr so we always have a few that he can watch. I turely wish we had no tv at all.

Kathi

[UnschoolnMa]

No limits here overall. We really enjoy TV and we've helped the kids find things they enjoy and feel good about.

[Arduinna]

The rule at our house is that unless you are actively watching the TV it's off. But that is just because I am noise sensitive, not because I hate tv. Having it on as background noise when I'm concentrating on something makes me cranky.

I'd personally try to redirect a child that age with some activity instead of imposing a specific time limit. Because well at that age they have a crappy sense of time usually

[mama in the forest]

I woudn't say I limit it purposely, but like Arduinna I have a noise sensitivity to it being on for background noise. With six kids here it's pretty noisy already, and most days it would overpower me if it was on all the time. The kids know this & respect my limitations pretty nicely. I try to respect their desires too when something is on that everyone is interested in. I definitely don't think unschooling is all about what my kids want!

Of course, phrases like "fire on the poop deck!!!" and "mother of pearl" are common phrases around here, so unless you know what those mean, you're not watching enough Sponge Bob.

[MarineWife]

I limited my oldest son's TV watching a lot. He did the sneaky stuff, too, he tells me now. It didn't really do any good. He still got to see all the things I thought he shouldn't at friends' houses and he became a total TV addict for a while. He would completely zone out in front of the TV for hours and get very nasty if I turned it off. I don't know which came first, the TV limiting or the TV zoning.

My 3yo is not like that at all but I also haven't limited his TV watching much. When I do tell him it's time to turn it off and do something else because it's been on all day and I'm tired of it he fusses for maybe a minute or two and then he's on to something else. He would leave it on all day, though, if I never turned it off. When it's not on he easily finds other ways to entertain himself. There is always other stuff available for him to do.

I've never been much of an outing type person. I'm much more of a homebody, so there's more time for us to just watch TV. I am trying to get out and do more stuff.

[rsps]

My oldest used to get very cranky and zoned out when tv was not limited. Now that we have limits, things work better.

I think so much depends on the family and the personality of the child.

Each of our boys has 3 hours a week were they can choose what to watch. Then if we watch other things as a family that is not part of their time. (we do Doctor Who and mythbusters each week at a friends house with cable)

The week starts on Sunday and generally they use up all their time then. If not they can roll it over for future weeks. I think the youngest had over 10 hours saved up at one point (he's not as into tv as his brother - and he's always had the limits.)

We also don't count times at friends houses -- those are special occasions -- they usually want to play anyway.

[ColwynsMommy]

Our TV limits change from day to day. If I see that they're zoning out too much, I'll turn it off, but if they're playing while the TV is on in the background, I don't mind if it's on.

Generally speaking, the TV is on from when they wake up (at the buttcrack of dawn) until 8:30-9:00am. Then it gets turned off until lunchtime at the earliest. Sometimes if I need a minute to make lunch and they're fighting or just fussy, I'll turn it on. The same goes for dinnertime, too.. if I'm making something more involved and they're clamoring for my attention, I'll put it on. Ideally, though, the TV would be off for the whole day starting at 8:30am. For some reason, though, I can never attain that goal.

We have limits on what they watch, too, but I don't think they're aware of it. They've never asked to watch any of the shows I'd rather they not see. For now, they watch whatever's on Playhouse Disney in the mornings (I'm usually dozing on the couch), and they can choose between Thomas, Blues Clues, Zula Patrol, Leapfrog Letter Factory, and Between the Lions.

I don't count educational programs made for adults, as they only watch bits and pieces that interest them. During the day, I'll often have documentaries from the National Geographic Channel, the Science Channel, stuff like that.