If your child decides they want to attend school...

[MaWhit]

Will you let them? How much will their input factor into the decision? Who will ultimately make the decision? (you, them, family, etc)

Feel free to branch off from those questions and discuss any aspect of this potential scenario.

[Papooses]

If/when Leila is ready to cope with being 1 of two dozen kids with only 1 adult, then I'll consider it ... but only if the school actually adheres to the security policy: only the front door unlocked from the outside & all visitors must sign in (her PreK, within an Elementary, did but the new district we're indoesn't -- not OK when my abusive ex has threatened kidnapping!)

[frogguruami]

Being the parent *I* will ultimately make the decision. If my older one says he wants to go back to school, and he really understands what that means I will let him. He will never want to go back though. His experiences were not pleasant.

If DS2 wants to go to school before highschool I will say NO. It is not an environment he can handle and there is no way for him to understand that. Once he hits highschool it would depend on why he wanted to go and what he felt he would get out of it because it wouldn't be an education! I would strongly oppose DS2 EVER stepping foot in an educational institution before college.

[MaWhit]

I am unlikely to let them go to school. Homeschooling is, for us, a lifestyle choice, not simply an educational one. One child enrolling in schol would disrupt the entire family dynamic, so one child would not be able to make that choice.

For younger children, I'd try to figure out what they felt they were missing, and would help find a way to help make that happen for them. I'd assist older children in working toward getting enrolled at a junior college.

[moominmamma]

When they're little, I make the decisions, taking their affinities, needs and wishes into account. As they grow up, they have more and more say. By age 10 I figure they're probably at the point of having the majority of the say.

That's easy for me to say ... there's almost nothing about our local school that would ever attract my kids, particularly not at the high school level.

Miranda

[MyLittleWonders]

Originally Posted by MaWhit

I am unlikely to let them go to school. Homeschooling is, for us, a lifestyle choice, not simply an educational one. One child enrolling in schol would disrupt the entire family dynamic, so one child would not be able to make that choice.

For younger children, I'd try to figure out what they felt they were missing, and would help find a way to help make that happen for them. I'd assist older children in working toward getting enrolled at a junior college.

: Our plan is to hs through high school. Even when older, we will probably trump our boys' if they decide they want to go to school. If dh is still teaching high school at the time, we can always arrange for a "field trip" for them to go experience what it's like to sit in a desk for 6 hours a day. : But, really, for us, it's a complete lifestyle choice, and we (dh and I) feel that there are certain decisions that are ours to make regarding our boys, even when they are 15 or 16. Anyways, by that time, if they wish to experience "school", they will be able to attend the local community college and take a few units there.

[umbrella]

Originally Posted by MaWhit

Will you let them? How much will their input factor into the decision? Who will ultimately make the decision? (you, them, family, etc)

Feel free to branch off from those questions and discuss any aspect of this potential scenario.

It would really depend. I'm pretty flexible, but it's my plan to homeschool throughout. I'd be more inclined to allow it for a particular school, rather than just "school" in general. But for me, homeschooling during the teen years could in reality mean taking every single class at a community college or elsewhere. I'd really rather that freedom, than having to adhere to a high school's ideas of what's necessary, and working within their limitations. I don't like things like, "only _____ graders can take that class," and "Well, that's now how we usually do things..."

[SagMom]

My kids would make the choice for themselves. I would make sure they know as much about the school and it's requirements as I could, and we'd talk about the rules and environment beforehand. But that's no different than when they want to sign up for any other activity or class. We talk about it, and they decide if they want to try it out. Ultimately, it's their decision, because they are the ones who will experience it.

They would also be able to leave school if they decided it wasn't for them.

[KaraBoo]

This is where I differ from other unschoolers because I truly believe a school environment would harm my child's spirit and irreparably affect our family. School doesn't just affect the one going...the whole family must revolve around school and all that it brings.

She gets interested in school now and then but usually it's indicative of something else...like maybe she hasn't seen her friend for a while or she's bored or she's about to make a big change in personality or growth and she's restless or she needs more interaction and attention with/from me.

So, no. Not right now. I'd discourage her.

[funkygranolamama]

My dd decided last year she wanted to go back for 4th grade. I let her. It may not work out this way for most people, but I'm so glad I did let her. She will definately not ask to go back again. She was at a private school for a month and public for two weeks (right before the holidays so she got all the activities and it still sucked). When she was in private she came home from school and did homework from 4-about 9 p.m. She was so unhappy, but wanted to try to stick it out a little. We finally withdrew her and somehow she thought public would be better. I didn't feel right about sending her, but again, I'm glad I did. That lasted all of two weeks. We were just finding out she had celiac at that time so she was still having bathroom issues while we were eliminating gluten. The kids were calling her potty girl. I asked her if she was ready to come back home yet. The look on her face was the happiest I'd ever seen. "YES, I'M NEVER GOING BACK!". So if your child is around my dd's age (10) and decides they want to go back to school, let me know and we'll have a little talk with them, too. It's not anything I'd wish on anyone.

[lauracd]

...I would listen and talk with him about it and figure out "why" he wants to go and try to fill the need a different way but ultimately I would say "no." I just wouldn't let him know that it was absolutely no, I'd try to steer him away from the idea. Like another poster, I believe that school would be harmful FOR MY CHILD (don't want a bunch of people telling me how it is not harmful) so I will do everything in my power to keep him and his brother out of the system. A last resort would be a montessori school at the beach here but that would only be if I absolutely have to due to extreme change in circumstances.

[sweetfeet]

Well I had always planned on homeschooling, but my 5 year old desperately wanted to attend school. I gave in and enrolled her. We talked about why she wanted to go and what she felt she would miss out on if she stayed home. She had some pretty crazy ideas of what goes on in a school. She never did. I realized that it was sort of silly to listen to a 5 year old in making such a large decision. I think I'll always say no if either child asks to attend school. Public school isn't something I want for my children.

[Linda on the move]

It's my kids' choice once they are old enough to understand the decision. Both of my kids seemed to understand the basic issues involved when they were about 7 or 8. They are 9 and 10 and I've explained to them that if they want to go to school they can, and that if they ever want to just visit school like a field trip to see what it is like we can arrange that.

Although homeschooling the whole way through sounds great (and we may end up doing it) sometimes it seems odd to me that my kids have no idea what the inside of a school is even like, even just to visit.

[Lovenest]

He is 5 now and there is no way I would allow him to make such a huge choice. Maybe if we moved back to Australia I would allow him to, but here in the USA I am not sure I would let him make that choice. But, you never know..

[dharmamama]

Depending on what my younger two are like at high school age, they might or might not be able to make the decision to go to school. It would depend on their maturity and their reasons for wanting to go.

My oldest dd was homeschooled for the first 9 1/2 months she was with us. Then I put her in school because homeschooling was not working for us. Even though I have a child in school, I still think school is a poor environment for children. I regularly see negative consequences of school in my oldest child. Unfortunately, things were so bad with her home that I had to make the decision to trade some sanity for the rest of us with the negatives of school. I like the teachers at my daughter's school, but I don't like school.

I don't see any reason to subject my younger kids to the negatives of school unless, like with my oldest, it's a last-ditch effort to keep the family from imploding.

dm

[elizabeth rose]

Nope, we def would not allow any of our kids to go to a school. We are very passionate abt that here. I can't imagine them wanting to go, for one thing, until you're enrolled in a school, and have been going for a bit, you really don't know what you're asking for.

[elizawill]

Originally Posted by MaWhit

Will you let them? How much will their input factor into the decision? Who will ultimately make the decision? (you, them, family, etc)

i would probably let my kids go to public school, but for now they will homeschool and it was basically mine and dh's decision. if my dd or ds really want to go to PS in the future, i am very open to their input and discussing it with them. i really value them and their opinions, and i don't want them to grow up and feel they had no say-so over this aspect of their life.

[emmsmama]

My ds (4.5) is home with me but my dd ( 8 ) is in school. She has always been in school. I wanted to hs her this year but she wanted to go to school. I do wish I would have at least done a trial period of hs'ing with her because without knowing what hs'ing is like she has nothing to base her decision on. However I have let her know that at any point in the year if she wants to come home for school she can change her mind

[Fieryfly]

If it were soley my decision, no I would not send them to school until college.

However, in reality, it isn't my own choice to make. My husband and I make the educational decisions together with much consideration given to the child's wishes.

My oldest voiced his wishes to go to school at the end of his 2nd grade homeschool year. We tweaked our homeschooling and looked for ways to meet the needs he felt could be met by school. At the end of 3rd grade, we reevaluated. We decided to send him to 4th grade at our local K-4 elementary school. We brought him home again to homeschool for 5th grade, and now he is attending 6th grade public school. It is a year-by-year decision and we're comfortable with this.

[MyLittleWonders]

I have a feeling, reading the responses, that maybe it's just a matter of one's opinion of school (private or public). For us, it boils down to a big philosophical difference of opinion between what we feel for education and what the schools do. Dh teaches public school as I mentioned above; I am glad he does in the sense that the kids that have to/need to/want to attend have a very good teacher. But, he has a hard time rectifying what he is forced to do in terms of "education" and what he believes (and what we do at home).

There are many families that have to use schools, and many who choose to use schools. And for those children, I am glad there are many qualified and loving people who choose to teach. But, for us, schooling isn't an option even if our children expressed the desire to go. There are many schooled-children who, if they expressed the desire to homeschool, would still go back to school the next year. For their families, it just isn't an option to homeschool, yk? Then there are families inbetween.

I know people who homeschool some and send others to school. They are fine with school, and fine with homeschooling ... like it could go either way, so it's a case-by-case (or child-by-child) decision for them. We just are on the other side of the camp in the "it isn't an option for us ... when they are old enough, they can start attending community college classes." Just my expanded thoughts after my post yesterday.