Anyone still nursing?? I need support!

[ChiaraRose]

Hi nursing, pregnant mamas,
How is it going?? I have had the hardest time since week 16 already and it is not getting better.
When I got pregnant ds nursed still around 10 times a day and a lot during the night. i nightweaned him shortly after I found out that I was pregnant because I was going crazy with no sleep and nursing lying down wasn't an option any longer. at around week 11 it started to hurt a lot, but it was okay, by week 16 my milk was gone and it got pretty unbearable. I slowly cut his nursings down to twice a day. That is what we are still doing, 2x a day, 15 minutes each.
My problem....i HATE it. I dread it so much. The pain is not even what gets me, it feels so irritating and makes me super aggressive. I feel horrible to have those feeling towards my son, I really just want to throw him across the room, everything in my body is yelling, get off. Instead I have been pulling my hair out, or pinched myself or scratched myself bloody just to be able to sit through this. I don't want to wean him, he is so little (19 month) and loves his nursies and still very much needs it. And I am almost 31 weeks and have gone through this for 15 weeks now, so I will be able to do it for another 9, right?? I don't know what i am looking for, just some hugs and support, maybe. I don't know. I usually am a pretty laid back person, i have issues coping with such feelings or urges.:
Am I the only one? How is it going for you??

[GinaRae]

I am not nursing a baby/child right now but I have felt the super aggressive feeling at times when one of my sons is leaning on me, on my lap, kissing me, hugging me, touching my face especially, etc.. I don't understand it.

Something about the contact triggers a hormone or something. Could be a primal thing that flicks on when some of us are pregnant.

I feel for you! I know you don't want him to wean and you're being SUCH a good mama to get through this.

What I would do is take Rescue Remedy from Bachs a few minutes before breastfeeding and possibly during. That might help. It's pregnancy safe too.

[renaissanceed]

I'm right there with you in many ways. DD is also 19 months and I've decreased her nighttime nursing dramatically (the 'boobs' go to sleep now very early during bedtime routine, because otherwise she just latches on and off and on and off and occasionally bites and giggles, all the time pawing me and scratching and just about making me want to jump out of the bed).

I'm also trying to keep it together for the next 8-10 weeks (I'm almost 33 weeks, but I'm not counting on going early or even on time).

I think what has helped us most is that DD is very verbal so I we are working on nursing manners (she will often request 'boobs please', followed by 'other boob') and I try to explain to her that they can only be nursed at for short periods of time and they need to rest. They are not going away forever but they need to sleep too, just like Miriam. She usually squeals for about 3 seconds but then calms down. During the day, I try to distract her as much as possible until nap time (unless she has fallen and hurt herself) or with water or food if I think she's actually thirsty/hungry.

You have come very far and I think you deserve to be very happy with how you've held out so far and make the best decision for all of you.

[AKmomof2+1inNov]

I'm not going though that this time, but I did last time. DS is 4 days shy of 19 months older than DD and I was very committed to nursing him until he was at least two. I figured I didn't want to start over again 3-4 months later, but it was SO hard. I could have written your post exactly. I actually used the nursing to practice my relaxation and breathing through the "pain" to prepare for birth. And he was down to once or twice a day, also by the time I delivered. I think it was worth continuing, but honestly, I did just cut him off at 2. I replaced nursing with cuddling, but he still asked for it for almost a year. It broke my heart, but I was back to being really rude with him about it and didn't want to ruin the whole nursing experience. It is easier once your milk is back physically...but for me mentally it was always a challenge to nurse a toddler when my mind was wanting to focus on my baby. So I don't have an answer just support! I did read Adventures in Tandem nursing and I think it's just an individual thing...some loved nursing two and some it didn't.

[rik8144]

Not in your DDC but I am 36 weeks and still nursing my 18 month old DD. I went through the same thing you described....I hated when she wanted to nurse! I just wanted to yank her off and plop her in the floor and run as fast as I could in the other direction. It was the most intense feelins I have ever had like that!

Anyway, it does get better and go away. Now I can tolerate it much better. There are the occasional days when I feel slightly like I used to, but nothing as intense as the previous weeks. I am so glad I can still give her what she wants a few times day!

[mothragirl]

i'm so there with you! dd is 25 months and nursing has been unbearable since around 18 weeks. i just grit my teeth and endure, i'm almost done! it is easier because she's older and can understand that it is hurting me.

[Monkeybutt]

You are NOT the only one. I could have written your post. It drives me mad. I sit here and try to just bare it so she will go to sleep. Because the more I fight her on not nursing, breathing, humming the more she cant sleep. (haha breathing sounds bad, but I'm sure you know what i mean!) So I clench my fists and suck it up. I don't let her nurse anymore except for at bedtime or like, if shes having a hard day or something.

I'm right there with ya! Good news is we only have a few months (or less) and our babies will be here and nursing will be enjoyable again! I hope! LOL

ETA: MY DD is 3 and weaning is not an option for me either.

[mommybytheWord]

I thought I was going crazy until I read your thread!:

I am still nrusing our 22mo old and since about week 16 it has been soooooooooo hard for me too! It hurts so bad everytime he laches on and I get so angry. I know he feels my anger and I feel so guilty.: I have NO milk and have very slowly night weaned hin and we are down to 2x's a day too. I dread it when I used to LOVE it. I have no room. The baby is always moving and pushing when I am trying to nurse. I hate it! It is so uncomfotable. But, he never took a bottle or a nuk. I am his only form of comfort and I feel I just have to keep it up. Even if it sucks!

My hope is that after the baby is born and there is tons of milk again I will enjoy nursing them both.

But, I really understand.

Do you ever get mad at your DH or Partner? I do when he watches me nurse. Makes me want to bite and twist his nipples to let him know how bad it really is!!!! Mabye I'm just crazy!

[Momma Aimee]

theo self weaned about 4 weeks ago : : : i am still begging him to nurse and i am really upset.

You are doing a great job momma -- 19 month IS so small.

but

as to your problems..... in all the reading i have done you will not have to wait till EDD or EDD +2 weeks for the baby for the feelings to get better.

usally once the colsturm comes in good, and the body starts gearing up for the baby, you will feel better. so while i do not know how much longer you have ... It might not be 9 more weeks.

How about a soothing nurseing setting -- get some nice tea, listen to some nice music in your fav cahir and set a timer -- 5 minutes and we are done.

I have also heard of a number of moms useing their nurseing as pratice for labor -- pratice guided relaxtion, pretice distraction, or focuse or breating -- to mainage pain, and unpleasent feeling, jsut like they would contractrions ??

[yogachick79]

Chiara, we slowly weaned because of what you are describing exactly. Including the VERY agressive and angry emotions I was feeling towards him. I dreaded nursing, resented every second of it and it was negatively impacting our relationship...

A very wise mama said to me once that nursing is a JOINT relationship. It has to be good and healthy for BOTH parties for it to work.

That said, I have every intention of offering nursing to him again once the babe is born should he show interest. I just know that for both his and my emotional well being right now it is best that we don't for the most part.

[amylizpat]

I know exactly what you mean. My 12.5 month old's teeth are driving me nuts! i don't think his latch has changed, it's just now I notice those little monsters and it kills me. I'm trying to keep thinking in my head, "only a few more weeks and he'll get milk again instead of this colostrum, so he won't feel like he needs to work so hard".

[ChiaraRose]

Thank you everyone for your kind words and that you shared your experiences with me. It helps to know I am not a freak and others have similar issues. Thank you so much. I hope we will all be in a better nursing place very soon!!!!
Thank you for your support and understanding!
Liane