Long-term nursing mamas: Do you have a limit? - Page 4

[laoxinat]

I waited til DS was 3.3 to get pg again, and he nursed thru my pregnancy and a little beyond, though it seemed like the taste or something led to his self-limiting. DD nursed til 4th b-day. We (I initiated) began talking about weaning when she was 3.5. It had been 8 years of nursing... so I was ssooo ready to wean. But I also didn't want it to be abrupt. She nursed on her 4th b-day, and we talked about this being our "last nursie day" She asked again like two days later. When I reminded her that her B-day was our last nursie day, her face crumpled (!) for a second, we cuddled for a little while, and then she got up and played and never did ask again! I feel lucky. I'm not sure what I would have done if she had been more upset or insistent. I learned from DS the dangers of drawing *that line*, because he seemed so veeery motivated to do exactly the opposite !
laoxinat

[NatureMama3]

no. Now that my nurseling is nearly 5 I can't imagine him weaning any time soon. I can't believe that I didn't realize how vulnerable and still very much needing Mama that my other kids were at the same age. I wish I had.

I know he won't be nursing when he's a teen (and likely well before that).

If he's needing it enough to be basically sucking fumes for the last 10 months (between pregnancies, losses and whatnot) then more power to him!

[momma earthical]

ds1 self weaned at 13months and I was heartbroken. In retrospect it was probably a nursing strike but I had no support and no knowledge of such things at that time.

dd is 4 and still nursing, although now it is only "to go to sleep" and only for the length of the ABC song I simultaneously tandem nursed after ds2 was born for about 13 months but I too struggled with it. There were times I felt like crawling out of my own skin, when I realised I was biting myself to stop from screaming I knew things had to change. I started nursing them one at a time but honestly it didn't help that much, I never expected that I would find nursing my dd such a challenge. I was determined to CLW but the reality is what it is. I don't know how long we will nurse, there have been occasional nights when she has fallen asleep waiting for her turn, but then she'll wake up in the middle of the night and demand it! I don't know if ds2 will nurse for as long as dd as he is not the avid nurser that she always was but I'm still aiming for CLW. Time will tell!

[BrooklynDoula]

My line was not an age -- it was as long as it is mutually working and when it is not we renegotiate. We got to a place were we fought all te time about nursing & we were both happier to stop. My milk was gone and he would demand milk but 2 month of nursing nothing did not produce more and in anger he would bite my nipples. So, we called it quites in a painless and loving way. Now I am on number 2.

[pumpkinhead]

I don't necessarily have a limit, but I do think that if we make it to 4, I'll start gently encouraging weaning.

[mommy2AandZ]

Originally Posted by pumpkinhead

I don't necessarily have a limit, but I do think that if we make it to 4, I'll start gently encouraging weaning.

I *think* this is my thoughts too. Of course you never know until you are at that point.

[ChinaDoll]

I've wondered if I have some subconscious "limit" but even after thinking about it several times over the past years, I can't seem to come up with one I'd be comfortable imposing on my child. If I do, I'll let you know. It hasn't really been an issue for me, since DD self-weaned at 3.5 years old, and I was still nursing her baby brother. Now that he's 3.5, I can tell you that he'll definitely nurse a lot longer than her. She was only nursing 1x a day after age 3, and by 3.5 was skipping days/weeks. He's still nursing 2-4 times a day . . . I know I'm cool with age 4; I guess it might seem a little more strange as he gets 5 or 6, but I don't think it would be abnormal AT ALL. They're only young once, and I just hate to push them out of something they feel they need, KWIM?

[Mommiska]

Thismama - I just wanted to reply. My oldest 3 kiddos are weaned...semi-child led, with some encouragement from Mama, I would say!

Ever since my second child was born, I've been tandem nursing (at one point, I was nursing all three of the older ones!). And I think that affected how long I wanted to nurse...it can be very difficult to nurse an older toddler when you have a newborn (at least, it was for me).

My oldest was 4 years, 9 months when she weaned.

Number 2 was just over 4 years old.

And Number 3 was 3 years, 9 months.

(Baby Number 4 has just turned 2, and is still going strong...I have no intention or desire to wean her at any point...we'll see how she goes/when she is ready to give up. But it's easier, as there are no more babies.)

With all of my older three, I slowly (over a long period of time) restricted weaning until it was just before bedtime - once they were over 3 years old, that was pretty easy with all of mine...they were too busy to want to nurse much during the day anyway.

Then at bedtime, I started offering choices - nursing or another story. When they were younger, they always wanted to nurse. As they got older, they wanted that extra story...and they eventually stopped asking to nurse and just always had two stories.

It was all very gradual. Not true child-led weaning, but not traumatic at all, and I felt it was respectful of both my needs and my children's needs.

Hope that helps!

Oh - to answer your question, I think I really did want my kiddos to be finished nursing by around 5 years old - but I also think that was affected by the fact that I was always tandem nursing. It will be interesting to see how long the baby ends up nursing...

[lanielayne]

I am still nursing dd1 at 3.5. She nursed throughout my entire pg with dd2 whether I had milk or not. We talked about her weaning at 3.5. We went a whole week then she nursed again last night. I have mixed feelings about it. I am ready for her to wean since I nurse dd2 all. the. time. but it is also bittersweet because it means she is growing up I don't have to worry about other's feelings on it as she only wants to nurse at bedtime now. We shall see what she decides.

[baileyandmikey]

hmmm... good question. i nursed dd till she was 2yrs 9mths, and then i had my ds three months later. my ds son is about to turn 3 in march and sadly, i am readdy for him to wean. he wants to nurse constantly... and i am tired of nursing. i have been nursing for almost 6 years straight!!!!!!! but he shows no sign of stopping and I refuse to hurt him and make him cry... so he'll nurse till he stops.

[Kay11]

I found tandemming the easy bit! I did experience some aversion during pg and that was the hardest part for me. That said, ds was quite atypical in that he didn't show sudden renewed interest when dd arrived. He'd naturally cut down during pg when my supply dropped and he stayed there for the most part until he started slowing down before he weaned. Just before he turned 3 I had these OMG I'll be nursing a 3 year old thoughts, but I didn't actually think about that being my limit. I'm not sure I really have one. If I *think* about nursing at all I'll admit I feel a bit ick: but thankfully I don't often think about it, I just do it. And my baby is always just that - my baby, my nursling and because the age creeps up on me so slowly I don't really think of them as too big. I do know that if I experienced those feelings of aversion any more strongly than I did when pg I'd have a hard time moving past that though. How do you MLW though? I really haven't got a clue and would probably make a big mess of it!

[mama_nym]

When I was pregnant with my first my limit was 6 months TOPS.

My first nursed for 5 years and self-weaned on his 5th birthday.

When he weaned, I was also nursing his little brother and his little sister.

Z (child #2) self-weaned in June of this year, a few weeks before his 7th birthday and I'm currently tandem nursing Haley (5) and Coren (2) and am 23 weeks pregnant.

You could say that my perceptions changed over time and that I definitely no longer have a limit!

For me, tandem/triandem nursing is a wonderful experience that I absolutely treasure. Occasionally I just need the children OFF of me for a little while, but usually a nice relaxing bath (alone!!!) helps a great deal. I can't imagine never having experienced tandem/triandem nursing!!!

[ShareBear]

A limit? This is something I have been wondering about. My oldest will be three next week and my husband says, "You know that when he turns three, he's weaning, right?" and I say, "Sure, honey," thinking, "Yeah but weaning might take another year."

I'm also nursing a little one (7 months). Tandeming has been easy for me, none of the creepy-crawlies that some of you mention. I think that if tandeming ever does start to drive me up a wall, we'll probably call it quits (with the older one that is), because I do believe in following my mama instincts and not fighting to keep doing something that feels wrong.

Right now I would imagine that my limit for the older guy would be four years, but we'll see.

[eilonwy]

I draw the line at puberty. I'd feel weird nursing a pubescent child.

[BundleFishMama]

I do believe in CLW so I think I'll nurse my kids as long as they want - whether I'll always be totally thrilled about it is another question though

As far as my personal feelings on it, I think it depends somewhat on the individual child - DD1 weaned at 3 1/4 yrs., after nursing really very little for the last 6 months of that. But she was, physically and developmentally, very big for her age - she looked older, acted older, was very mature and independent at 3, potty-taught very early, etc. etc.. My DD2, who is now 3 1/4 herself, is *totally* different - average-size, acts much more "babyish" (and I don't mean this in a negative way, just haven't had enough coffee this morning to think of a better way of saying it! ), will not even start potty-teaching, much more attached, and still nurses a lot. My friends joke that my DS (15 months) will wean before his older sister does!

Anyway, I don't think I'd start feeling uncomfortable about it until around age 5 or something. Even then, I'm not saying I'd make the child wean, necessarily - I don't know, I might continue if it were important to my child, even if I wasn't crazy about it. But for me, in terms of my personal feelings about the nursing, it seems to have more to do with the child's perceived age or the age that they act rather than their actual chronological age, if that makes any sense at all?

[maika]

I didn't really have a limit in mind, I just had this idea that it would just somehow quietly stop.

As it is, my daughter was nearly 6, and was about to start school, when we talked about how it was probably time to be done. At this stage it was more of a way of touching base, and a comfort thing, and it was actually easy to call ourselves done...but there is no way I would ever have imagined us spending that long as a nursing pair.

[wonderwahine]

right now, I think its 6/7..... but I originally never wanted to be the mom with the 2yr old nursing....... and now that I have the 2yr old, hes still such a baby and i couldnt think of doing anything different. So by the time hes 6, i might think differently.

[wonderwahine]

Originally Posted by eilonwy

I draw the line at puberty. I'd feel weird nursing a pubescent child.

I draw the line at college..... I wil not attend college with them

[cdmommie]

My DH and I decided if DD is still nursing when it's about time to start school I will wean, but not because of age, just because it would be hard on her (and me too ) if she is not here when she wants to nurse.

[nyxx]

Originally Posted by DBZ

Your DD nursed till 7?! You are officially the longest nursing pair I've ever "met".

my DD is 8 and still nursing sometimes.
i don't have a limit. that's CLW.