People laying claim to your *birth* (slight end of pg rant)

[beautiful_mama]

This has happened two times now in the past 2 weeks,...

well meaning family members have this idea that they are somehow delivering this baby for me
it's ever so slightly annoying honestly and I know they mean well but geesh!

First my MIL who needs some *female* type surgery reeeeally badly tells me that she can't have the surgery in Sept. because (in her words)

*we are having Hannah in September*

excuse me...WE? Last I checked *I* was the pregnant one!

Then...my mother just a few days ago.
We have had some babies lost in our family, one of my brothers especially has lost 2 children well into pg (one at term) and my other SIL had a Csection with her first baby (long story short 37 hours of labor, and about 30 hours after they broke her water at 3 cm with her first delivery...baby got stuck cock-eyed in birth canal and after 4 hours of pushing was *rescused* by the doctor via AWFUL Csection (they butchered her...seriously)

So my mom has massive anxieties about me *homebirthing*

Well, my mom is not allowed to be over right after baby comes (and now for theb irth especially!) anyway because she freaks out over the amount of "work" I have coming with all my kids, plus new born etc ( like I didn't know that when we decided to have another child *sigh*)
SO the rule is she has to wait at least a week...soi can get somewhat of a routine down before she comes over.

Well, last week she calls me and says her October is crazy and she can only come Oct. 1-5th.

Ok, problem is, I am not DUE until the 26th of Sept and I usually go over so that right there does not fit the time table.

I said what if you get here and baby isn't here yet and you miss getting to see her? (my mom lives over 2 states away so it isn't likely to just pop back by later on...)

And she says "well, I will just hlep you deliver her if she comes while I am there"

WTH?

I said, um, noooo...*I* am delivering her I know exactly what to do and she replies with no I mean I'll be there to help if there are any *complications* because babies have minds of their own you know.

AH HA! : She has no confidence in homebirth, that now I can see. WHich kind of stiffles me because my mom had all of us (me and 2 brothers) natural births and even spent time advocating to a hospitalboard once in Ohio where hse had my brother to fight to allow fathers in the delivery room, yet hse has no confidence in my decision It's like she got pro naturalbirth amnesia or something.

*BIG sigh* it just makes it really difficult to keep your chin up and have faith in the old system of birth with stuff like that kwim?

And besides...WHY do parents think this is THEM giving birth? I mean COME ON! It's sooo annoying....almost as annoying as the redundant calls every few days of *how are you* (alyrie...I SO know how you feel girl!! )



Ok, rant over :

[sunshine's mama]

just wanted to offer

[lactivist]

I have always hated that. Somehow people just assume they can come to your birth or be involved without an invitation. I am going to do my best to never do that to my own children.
Wendi

[IntuitiveJamie]

I had this very same experience with my son, only it was after the birth actually happened. My MIL managed to make two comments that were insance. The first one was that she stated that "this was her day" (literally the day my son was born as she was sitting on my couch holding him she said this).
The second thing she did was claim to know that we were having a homebirth and that it had been okay with her the whole time b/c she knew we were close enuf to hospitals to be safe.
UM yeah, except that she never knew we were having a hb until we called her and told her we had just had the baby at home!!
She's nuts and I just had to let it go at that.

[leanbh]

i completely understand.

my mom during the last two weeks of pregnancy would call and leave messages that just said, "where's my baby?"

yeah... i just responded with, well, if you want to take the discomfort this weekend, i'll take the work week, and you can have early labor. she almost got the point, but she was too excited to let it soak in.

ah well, they live across the country... they won't be here until the end of the month!

big hugs!!!!