I'm 5m pp and it just hit me HARD! I thought I would escape PPD this time around. Oh how evil and sneeky PPD can be! Could this be triggered by situational issues not necessary hormonal? Certainly hormonal PPD can maximize situational blues!?
I'm about to expose deep thoughts (for me anyways) so I hope NONE of this will EVER be held against me
: I do have an enemy on MDC so if you see this, no matter how much you hate me PLEASE don't use this against me....
I'm not so sure if I blew that one out of proportion since I generally Can CARE LESS what ppl think of me. PPD has gotten the best of me I guess.
I turned 30 on 8/26 this yr. I never in a million ys thought this would effect me. It has in the weirdest way. My father didn't ever want to get old so he killed himself. Yeah I know, that was pretty selfish of him. My 103 yr old Grandma tells me all the time, "Don't EVER GET OLD!" The way she says it is funny b/c she is old!
But sometimes she is pretty serious.
4 generations in a row, each have warned me with their testimony . The worse year of their life was, 30! That number really isn't so bad considering its just a number right?
Depression is really starting to hit me! My kids are growing up so darn fast and its so painful right now.
Oh no wait I have to tell you the worse of it. This is what started the whole darn thing! I was diagnosed with P.O.P. pelvic organ prolapse when I was 8 wks pp. The doctor and my MW both said I look like I'm 60, ahem... down there. My kids beat me up really good and they were trying to get me to sign up for a designer vagina! I just had a baby for crying out loud!
Just hearing them tell me I look like I've lost 31 (29 when the dx was given) of my life hurt, really hurt. No bedside manners AT ALL!
So, I'm 30 and my life is stagnant yet my kids and I are growing up painfully fast! Living in a 1 and a half bedroom 1400 sq ft house on an acre of land which is a waist b/c its dangerous for the kids to play out there. (bad neighborhood, no fence). Your probably thinking, what the he!! am I doing having 4 kids! We weren't planning on staying b/c we had a 4 bd 3ba renovation home with a mortgage that demanded our paycheck. I thought we would eventually live there. Dh's intentions was to make a profit off it. It turned into a NIGHTMARE! Right now there is a renter in it. Its so hard b/c I want to live in that house! Dh won't do it b/c the utilities on a 3400 sqft home scares the hell out of him. This seems so screwed up. The last renter wouldn't move and they didn't pay rent for freaken 6m! We had to take them to court to get them out! They were pulling squawter stunts on us. Even in the court room! We won but the court could only let us sue for 5k. They owed 9k and we're never going to see that money. We're rotting in debt b/c of them.
Dh is in school again. He is working on an Education leading America toward healthy, environmentally responsible,zero energy homes. So its hard not having him around. Normally he would be working on Sat. making more money to meet our bills. Without that we've become EXTREMELY tight. Cant' breath! The one thing that has helped me with depression is working out at the gym. They've recently informed us that our membership dues is going to increase $6/child. We're going to have to drop that. It sucks.
I get ups and downs and they're pretty extreme sometimes. I feel like its clouding my ability to make rational decisions. The stress has literally FRIED me! I do not see it getting any better. Even if I wanted help from a Psychiatrists I wouldn't be able to afford it. I just don't know what else to do. Any suggestions? Please?
Thank you for staying with me this far.
~FW
I'm about to expose deep thoughts (for me anyways) so I hope NONE of this will EVER be held against me
: I do have an enemy on MDC so if you see this, no matter how much you hate me PLEASE don't use this against me....I'm not so sure if I blew that one out of proportion since I generally Can CARE LESS what ppl think of me. PPD has gotten the best of me I guess.
I turned 30 on 8/26 this yr. I never in a million ys thought this would effect me. It has in the weirdest way. My father didn't ever want to get old so he killed himself. Yeah I know, that was pretty selfish of him. My 103 yr old Grandma tells me all the time, "Don't EVER GET OLD!" The way she says it is funny b/c she is old!
But sometimes she is pretty serious.4 generations in a row, each have warned me with their testimony . The worse year of their life was, 30! That number really isn't so bad considering its just a number right?
Depression is really starting to hit me! My kids are growing up so darn fast and its so painful right now.
Oh no wait I have to tell you the worse of it. This is what started the whole darn thing! I was diagnosed with P.O.P. pelvic organ prolapse when I was 8 wks pp. The doctor and my MW both said I look like I'm 60, ahem... down there. My kids beat me up really good and they were trying to get me to sign up for a designer vagina! I just had a baby for crying out loud!
Just hearing them tell me I look like I've lost 31 (29 when the dx was given) of my life hurt, really hurt. No bedside manners AT ALL!
So, I'm 30 and my life is stagnant yet my kids and I are growing up painfully fast! Living in a 1 and a half bedroom 1400 sq ft house on an acre of land which is a waist b/c its dangerous for the kids to play out there. (bad neighborhood, no fence). Your probably thinking, what the he!! am I doing having 4 kids! We weren't planning on staying b/c we had a 4 bd 3ba renovation home with a mortgage that demanded our paycheck. I thought we would eventually live there. Dh's intentions was to make a profit off it. It turned into a NIGHTMARE! Right now there is a renter in it. Its so hard b/c I want to live in that house! Dh won't do it b/c the utilities on a 3400 sqft home scares the hell out of him. This seems so screwed up. The last renter wouldn't move and they didn't pay rent for freaken 6m! We had to take them to court to get them out! They were pulling squawter stunts on us. Even in the court room! We won but the court could only let us sue for 5k. They owed 9k and we're never going to see that money. We're rotting in debt b/c of them.
Dh is in school again. He is working on an Education leading America toward healthy, environmentally responsible,zero energy homes. So its hard not having him around. Normally he would be working on Sat. making more money to meet our bills. Without that we've become EXTREMELY tight. Cant' breath! The one thing that has helped me with depression is working out at the gym. They've recently informed us that our membership dues is going to increase $6/child. We're going to have to drop that. It sucks.
I get ups and downs and they're pretty extreme sometimes. I feel like its clouding my ability to make rational decisions. The stress has literally FRIED me! I do not see it getting any better. Even if I wanted help from a Psychiatrists I wouldn't be able to afford it. I just don't know what else to do. Any suggestions? Please?
Thank you for staying with me this far.
~FW
tjings souond really rough right now.
