How can I convince OB to NOT induce? - Page 3

[Jimibell]

wow, great, supportive posts from everyone (almost)....

tara,

I also think you should go with a care-provider who supports your choices. This is the most important day in your baby's life and one of the most important days in your life. If you are already in disagreement with your provider it sounds like it will only get worse.

Ask him to get his story straight, is it the SD or is it the ice?!! The ice is an absolutely embarrassingly ridiculous reason to induce!!! Last year it was 70 degrees on my dd's January bday in NJ!

I would also speak with your dh. It sounds like you are open to the idea of hb but are seeing some obstacles. If you really want it then you can make it happen. Life is a series of choices. Right now you are faced with a choice. You know that the induction is risky, uncomfortable and not necessary. You know that it will not guarantee no SD (obviously from your past experience). To me the logic is so compelling it's not even worth arguing over. If the past 2 babies were induced and 1 of them had SD, it's kind of like, duh, doc!!

Have dh read before he makes a decision about your body! And find that money. Because if your choice is to be miserable and argue and stressed out with your doctor OR be happy and confident and respected by your midwife, that's also a no-brainer and your dh should recognize that and support you. Go back and read your posts. There is a huge difference in tone from your first posts to the one after you met the mw. It is your job to protect your baby, you know this, you're already a mom.

And wow, major kudos to you for birthing without pain meds after being induced!!! hb will be a million times better of an experience!!

Also, check out www.motherfriendly.org. This will give you guidelines for finding a mother-friendly care-giver who respects you and the natural birthing process. See how your doc measures up. These guidelines were written by people who really CARE and they are committed to evidence-based practices. And they have been endorsed by many organizations, professionals and individuals. Show that to your dh too.

[Maggi315]

You cant. Sorry, but the truth is that you can only have as good medical care as your provider. And you are going to spend the next 20 weeks worrying, stressing, arguing, and in general having a high stress negative environment for your pregnancy.

you need another provider. you need a midwife and probably a homebirth. Consider all the factors, drive if you must, whatever. but don't think you will change their minds, they have made up their minds already.

i have seen this too many times when i worked in the hospital and as a doula. Which is why I am a homebirth midwife. People expect to be able to change minds, make new policies, "talk" to their providers into doing things outside their normal realm, and believe me, whatever they might tell you, in the end they do what they want to anyway.

Sorry that I have no good advice. I do think it's generally unhealthy for you and the baby to be in a negative energy environment for your pregnancy and labor so I hope you find whatever is necessary to change that environment.

come up to PA, we'll take you!!!

[taralv]

Well, I am now in the process of finding another provider. I am frustrated because I feel the same way as most of you that I would rather take out a loan or set up a payment play and have a homebirth with a women that I trust, but dh feels differently. He feels like if we have insurance that covers birth we have to use it and not using it is just ridiculous in his opinion. Now, I'm trying to find a compromise and I've been married to him long enough to know when he will not budge on something. But I feel good about making a change in provider. I'm looking around close to home so that I can go into labor when I go into labor, period. At least I feel confident in that decision, and I owe in large part to all the responses I received on this thread, so thank you.

Tara

[anne1006]

I understand your pain! I was induced....one thing led to another and long story short- it was a traumatic birth witha 4th degree tear and they said I "Had" to have a c-section next time. I switched providers and went to hospital based midwives and they said maybe c-section too. I wasn't convinced because I felt that the interventions caused the distocia and tear....not the baby.
I didn't think homebirth was an option, but lots of research later I convinced DH and my family is coming around too. One thing that really changed his mind was setting up the interview with the midwife and letting him ask questions. After that he told me whatever I want.
She is gonna run the bill through our insurance and we hope they cover some, but they say they don't. But, in her experience, just because they say they don't doesn't actually mean they don't. She said a lot of times they will cover at least part of it. Either way, I'll sell a kidney if I have to in order to avoid another terrible birth! Keep researching and looking for that good provider!

[gratefulmama2isaac]

Tara, please keep us updated; I always check your thread now. Yay, you! Keep doing what feels to you to be the next right step. Birth is SUCH an amazing time in that women are never more vulnerable and never stronger than they are during labor and birth. Above all, you need to feel safe and supported.

[Maggi315]

Good luck! I understand that you don't want to disagree with your husband and feel he won't budge...but please keep in mind, it's your body and your birth. Sure, it's important for him too, but it's totally not the same thing. You are the one who will be left with the scars, the emotional baggage,etc. if things go wrong. Men just don't have the same feelings about the whole issue usually.

My husband wasn't thrilled about our last birth at home with lots of people in a birth pool (even though i am a homebirth midwife, for gods sakes), but really, I listened to his opinion and then realized this was my journey to walk, and I had to stand up for my body, my baby, my birth.

keep us updated...

[georgia]

Please keep us updated. For me, thinking in big-picture terms of the number of births I will have in my lifetime, I believe I deserve the birth type/location/experience/etc *I* envision, not just what insurance pays for or what someone else wants for me based out of fear, misunderstanding of my needs, etc.

My thoughts are with you...please keep us updated as you can!

[taralv]

Well, here's the update on the situation. I have changed to an OBGYN much closer to my home. I had a consult with him yesterday, and before I even had a chance to go into my situation he told me that he "loathes inductions". Of course that was such a relief for me. Then he took me on a tour of the hospital's birth center, which is a really small part of a really small hospital in a - you guessed it - small town. I was happy with it because the nurses were very friendly, very open to just allowing women to birth and hold their babies with no interference. I guess because it's not a big hospital they feel more comfortable relaxing some of the practices that you find in a big bureaucratic nightmare of a busy maternity ward. So, although it's not my ideal, I like the OB, I will be able to go into labor when my body is ready, and the hospital is 5 minutes away. I feel hopeful. I also wanted to say that I looked at the website spinningbabies.com, and I was relieved to read the information there, so thank you for that suggestion. I feel confident that if I have to print out some of the many articles that I've read concerning the fact that induction does not prevent dystocia, and in some cases actually causes it, I will do that. But I don't think it will be necessary as this OB doesn't believe in induction. So, we'll see.

Tara

[SublimeBirthGirl]

If my husband decided to lay down the law about something *I* had to experience, work *I* had to do, he'd be in deep sh...uh, you know. He wouldn't have to worry about ever DECIDING my birth place FOR me again, because he'd be lucky to ever have sex again. I say this every time this comes up but I just can't imagine being married to someone who thinks it's his place to determine a woman's BIRTH PLACE. It's insanity.

[aikigypsy]

I've also chosen a small-town hospital over an urban teaching hospital with a "great reputation," but there were other factors for me, like being close to family and having to move before the birth anyway. You'll also get better continuity of care at the small hospital, and the nurses will know who you are, and vice versa, you won't be seeing a different person every 5 minutes. So it sounds like a good compromise to me.