Is this weaning, or normal? - Page 2

[*Karen*]

From the time that DS was about 13 months to very recently he didn't want to nurse at all. I offered a ton throughout the day and he refused. Just recently he is starting to ask some.

Just listen to your child. If they ask for human milk, give it to her. If she asks for cow's milk, give it to her. Maybe ask her before you give it to her if she wants your milk. If she refuses, why fight it?

I think if it is still offered that she will come back to it in a few months. Give it a little time. But if she is done, that's OK too!

I completely agree that being AP is listening to your child. And respecting what they want.

[mamadodson]

I find this topic very interesting, as I totally agree that a child can self wean earlier then is expected. Angela I do want to point out that you clearly told the op that if she took all solids and milks away and that if the child still didnt want to nurse then you would belive it was a selfwean, If your child is completely satisfied with nursing just once a day and if it is extending bfing that you want to pursue, then try to offer it more, but if she clearly just doesnt want it, then I dont agree that you should keep pushing her, I also believe you should respond to your childs needs and if her need is to not nurse so much then so be it. Every child is different, there is not a such thing as everychild needs to nurse till a certain age. It is your opinion on how long they should nurse, but every child and every situation is different, please keep that in mind when stating your opinions that it is just that your opinion.

[alegna]

Originally Posted by mamadodson

Angela I do want to point out that you clearly told the op that if she took all solids and milks away and that if the child still didnt want to nurse then you would belive it was a selfwean,

Nope. Never said to take away all solids. My quotes below- comments about solids bolded:

Originally Posted by alegna

Sounds like she is *being* weaned by the cow's milk available. It's not CLW because it sounds like the cow's milk is really contributing. I would offer more. Make sure there is no other sucking and no other milk.

-Angela

Originally Posted by alegna

So what- is that it is not developmentally appropriate for a 17 mo. human to wean.

And as long as parents are providing that cow's milk, then they are doing the weaning.

Human milk for humans.

-Angela

Originally Posted by alegna

Take away the cow's milk. Take away any spoon feeding. Take away other sucking. If the child STILL weans then I will buy that it's developmentally appropriate for this child.

-Angela

Yes, I did say to remove the cow's milk and I stand by that. Offering other milks is a weaning technique.

-Angela

[alegna]

Originally Posted by mamadodson

It is your opinion on how long they should nurse, but every child and every situation is different, please keep that in mind when stating your opinions that it is just that your opinion.

I was not speaking from an opinion point of view. What I was saying was basic human development. All my research points to humans naturally needing to nurse until at least 2 years old.

-Angela

[amitymama]

I agree that the ideal for nursing in human children should be 2 years and beyond and I always thought it would be ME wanting to give up nursing before my child did, so I didn't expect this at 17 months. But I've been pretty level-headed about it, I think, and have continued to offer it to her at the times she used to have it (before naps and before bed) and also if she needs comforting and when she lifts my shirt while we're playing. Every single time (except for in the morning -- she nurses every morning without fail) she refuses it adamantly (like, arches her back and pulls away forcefully) or latches on but then just laughs and doesn't suck. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't *force* her to nurse, I just don't know how it's possible.

I've actually done quite a few days where she didn't have any spoon-fed solids and no cow's milk and she still didn't want breastmilk. She doesn't even have cow's milk every day, probably more like every other or whenever I remember to offer her some. So I feel I've explored a lot of different options and have given it time to see if it was just a temporary nursing strike, but now as it approaches 5 weeks with only 1 feed a day, I tend to think that this is self-weaning.

I appreciate all of the thoughts and support.

[clutterbug]

Originally Posted by alegna

Just wanted to throw in that rice milk is not a milk in any way. It's at best a juice.

-Angela

I recognize this. But he won't take cow's milk and doesn't tolerate it, either, so we are giving him fortified rice milk as a calcium source. I prefer that to diarrhea all the time.

[gratefulmama2isaac]

Originally Posted by yellowpansy

17 mos old do have opinions of their own and I would respect hers. She is asking you for cow's milk. Is she healthy and doing well? If so, give her what she asks for. She is weaning herself but so what? Part of raising children in an AP manner is respecting them. I think it would be disrespectful of your child to try to force her to nurse when she clearly does not want to. Some children do wean this early. Celebrate it and find other ways to be close to your child as nursing goes by the wayside.

I wholeheartedly agree, and very well said.

[offwing]

Originally Posted by alegna

All my research points to humans naturally needing to nurse until at least 2 years old.

You are personally doing research? Has it been peer reviewed yet? That's fascinating!

[sunnysideup]

Originally Posted by amitymama

I've actually done quite a few days where she didn't have any spoon-fed solids

There is no reason to spoon feed a 17mo. It's not developmentally appropriate. A 17mo is capable of feeding him/herself, and it's better for them.

[annettemarie]

This thread is closed til I have a chance to deal with it.

[annettemarie]

Reopening. Please do not personally attack members on the boards, as per the User Agreement:

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[L&IsMama]

Originally Posted by alegna

I was not speaking from an opinion point of view. What I was saying was basic human development. All my research points to humans naturally needing to nurse until at least 2 years old.

-Angela

And there you have it.

[L&IsMama]

Originally Posted by alegna

Take away the cow's milk. Take away any spoon feeding. Take away other sucking. If the child STILL weans then I will buy that it's developmentally appropriate for this child.

-Angela

What "developmentally appropriate" guidlines are you constantly referring to in your posts? Do you have a few links? :
Seriously, I am *all for* CLW, but I really cannot imagine witholding foods and drinks from my ds at 17 months old in an attempt to be "developmentally appropriate".

[alegna]

Originally Posted by L&IsMama

Seriously, I am *all for* CLW, but I really cannot imagine witholding foods and drinks from my ds at 17 months old in an attempt to be "developmentally appropriate".

I *never* said to withhold food OR drink. I said that other milks can contribute to weaning. I said avoid other sucking. I said don't spoon feed.

-Angela

[North_Of_60]

Originally Posted by L&IsMama

but I really cannot imagine witholding foods and drinks from my ds at 17 months old in an attempt to be "developmentally appropriate".

No kidding. That's a melt down waiting to happen.

[mandolyn]

Angela, I understand what you are saying. In fact, it's a direct answer to the OP's question... should she stop cow's milk to see what happens? Your answer: yes! You are not saying to discontinue all solids. But, to find out if the child is truly weaning on her own, 1) eliminate cow's milk from the diet, 2) make sure the child is getting all sucking needs at the breast (which to me means no pacifiers if the child is using one), and 3) make sure the child feeds herself at all times (i.e. no spoonfeeding). Makes perfect sense to me.

Mandy

[alegna]

Originally Posted by mandolyn

Angela, I understand what you are saying. In fact, it's a direct answer to the OP's question... should she stop cow's milk to see what happens? Your answer: yes! You are not saying to discontinue all solids. But, to find out if the child is truly weaning on her own, 1) eliminate cow's milk from the diet, 2) make sure the child is getting all sucking needs at the breast (which to me means no pacifiers if the child is using one), and 3) make sure the child feeds herself at all times (i.e. no spoonfeeding). Makes perfect sense to me.

Mandy

I suppose people read what they want to read. Seemed pretty clear to me.

-Angela

[Kylix]

I find it really clear what Angela was saying from her first post. I think some here are reading what they want to hear.

Children are supposed to be having a full fat milk until they are two years old. Why replace that breastmilk (the perfect food for baby humans) with cow's milk (a very imperfect food)? I agree that I would withhold cow's milk and offer to nurse more and see if your dd picks up in nursing.

I do not think this is CLW because she is choosing an alternative that you are offering. She is not simply choosing not to nurse. If you are okay with weaning her to cow's milk, that's cool too. Just wanted to point out that it is not CLW.

Kylix

[sunnysideup]

I posted more in another earlier post, but it was deleted

I see what Angela is saying. When a 17mo weans it is always for a reason--pacifier use, other milks, decreased milk supply due to pregnancy, undiagnosed nursing strike, etc.

Depending on how far along one is in the weaning process, it can be difficult to go back. Reduced nursing because of spoonfeeding cereal, for example, can lead to reduced milk supply, which can further the course of weaning.

[L&IsMama]

Originally Posted by sunnysideup

Depending on how far along one is in the weaning process, it can be difficult to go back. Reduced nursing because of spoonfeeding cereal, for example, can lead to reduced milk supply, which can further the course of weaning.

Well, *technically* weaning begins when the first solids are introduced, just sayin. I don't see where the OP said *she* was spoonfeeding her daughter cereal, she said her daughter liked to gulp the milk from the bowl when she was done eating the cereal. What else should she put on the cereal, then, if she is to avoid all other milks? I can see not giving other milk in sippy cups, but, um, milk kinda goes on cereal, yk?