or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Single Parenting › craziness (vent-ish but short)
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

craziness (vent-ish but short)

post #1 of 310
Thread Starter 
i found out last night from b (my business partner/friend/? see dating thread ) that my stbx and the woman are in italy. he's given me no itinerary, no way to contact him, wouldn't even tell me where he was going for 10 days (love the grapevine). all he would say is that he's been saving for six months and i can't make him feel guilty about it. let's see...six months ago he was swearing up and down that he wasn't having an affair, we were in therapy spending thousands of dollars and he was telling me "don't worry, you guys are my family, i'll always take care of you."

i don't care that he's with her. i don't care that he's in italy. i don't care. but he told me he's broke and despite making close to $5k a month all he could give me this month is $200. that's down from $2500. i have so many ua violations bottled up but i guess i'll save that for my blog.

needless to say i'm really really really: :

and i'm meeting with one of the most high powered, bulldog lawyers in the bay area this evening. wish me luck; i think this is about to get really nasty and i never thought i'd be here. :
post #2 of 310
Man, that hole R is digging for himself just got a lot deeper.

I suspect your attorney may just chortle with glee : .
post #3 of 310
Thread Starter 
i hope some of this crap has legal bearing. i mean, i'm ready for this hole to have some freaking consequences. there have been zero consequences for his behavior for TEN months now.
post #4 of 310
You have to get proof he is in Italy because you can soooo use that in court when going for custody and child support. Him going without saying anything and without having given you any money for so long will look so good for you. He just made a major snafu without really realizing it.
post #5 of 310
Quote:
Originally Posted by Avani View Post
You have to get proof he is in Italy because you can soooo use that in court when going for custody and child support. Him going without saying anything and without having given you any money for so long will look so good for you. He just made a major snafu without really realizing it.
I bet, if it comes down to it, you can subpoena any visa applications or passport records. At the very least, you could ask for his passport when you request documents during the discovery period.
post #6 of 310
Quote:
Originally Posted by Still_Snarky View Post
all he would say is that he's been saving for six months and i can't make him feel guilty about it. let's see...six months ago he was swearing up and down that he wasn't having an affair, we were in therapy spending thousands of dollars and he was telling me "don't worry, you guys are my family, i'll always take care of you."
Isn't that funny when they think we can't do math?

On the plus side, I really admire how detatched you sound about him taking this woman to Italy! I know I still let every little thing x does really get under my skin and mess with my head.

Good luck with the lawyer tonight!

You're in the bay area too? Awesome.
post #7 of 310
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Isn't that funny when they think we can't do math?


Quote:
On the plus side, I really admire how detatched you sound about him taking this woman to Italy! I know I still let every little thing x does really get under my skin and mess with my head.
it started out as just an act. the more i've practiced it, the more it has become reality. when i found out last night i wanted to crawl out of my ever-loving skin. i don't care. i don't care. and now, guess what? don't care!

Quote:
Good luck with the lawyer tonight!


Quote:
You're in the bay area too? Awesome.
we should plan an mdc single mamas get-together!
post #8 of 310
I cannot even put into words how disgusted I am. Just when I thought he couldn't stoop any lower.....

good luck with the lawyer, and remember we're all rooting for you!
post #9 of 310
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Avani View Post
You have to get proof he is in Italy because you can soooo use that in court when going for custody and child support. Him going without saying anything and without having given you any money for so long will look so good for you. He just made a major snafu without really realizing it.
this is the upside to crap like this!
post #10 of 310
Quote:
Originally Posted by Still_Snarky View Post
we should plan an mdc single mamas get-together!

no fair! i wanna come!
post #11 of 310
Oh, if there is an MDC Single Mama meet up, I'm flying out there - $$$ be damned!

Celeste, I've said it before and I'll say it again - apparently we married the same man. Isn't it amazing how stupid they think we are! I told him three weeks ago that I was (finally!) filing for divorce, and suddenly in that very same conversation I was told that the overtime at work has "all dried up" and "we won't be able to set child support on what I've earned so far this year". What a UA Violation...
post #12 of 310
Thread Starter 
I think we have the beginnings of a meet-up ladies!
post #13 of 310
Yay! Really?!

I'm stuck in couplesville (not that I don't love my married friends, skw, if you read this!) and would LOVE a single MDC mamas meet-up!
post #14 of 310
Read the blog and almost:Puke

I'm glad you were mad Celeste. REALLY glad that you found a bulldog lawyer. Nail R to the wall. Please

Sorry, I'm not a single mama, just stalking Celeste.
post #15 of 310
Quote:
Originally Posted by kerplunk View Post

You're in the bay area too? Awesome.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Still_Snarky View Post
:

we should plan an mdc single mamas get-together!

I think we have the beginnings of a meet-up ladies!
Quote:
Originally Posted by kerplunk View Post
Yay! Really?!

I'm stuck in couplesville (not that I don't love my married friends, skw, if you read this!) and would LOVE a single MDC mamas meet-up!
Oh Ladies don't forget about me. I am STARVING for some social interaction and so is my dd.

ETA: nice to know you found a great lawyer! Go get em tiger!
post #16 of 310
C, I'm not single but I've been following your story for sometime now. Saw your last blog post and came here to send some support and encouragement. In all honestly, R has just done you a huge favor. HUGE. He is screwing himself, as the court will not look favorably on his actions. But you know this. Because you are a smartie pants.

Still reading the blog regularly and thinking of you a lot, sending strength and support and courage.
post #17 of 310
Thread Starter 
finally found a lawyer i'm confident in. thank goodness...
post #18 of 310
Quote:
Originally Posted by Still_Snarky View Post
finally found a lawyer i'm confident in. thank goodness...
I'm so glad you found a lawyer - I hope he/she is very aggressive and as disgusted as all of us are at you STBX's behavior. I have no words that can accurately describe how horrified I am that your STBX thinks it was ok to spend money on a trip and just, oh well, not help support you and his children.
post #19 of 310
Celeste

I was following the "I am so Scared" thread since November, and then it was shut down But I keep checking your blog, and could not believe what I read this morning. What a R is!!!



I have no idea how child support stuff works, so I am wondering if it is possible to make the guy pay retroactively??? He owes you BIG and you need to drag him to court! What a UA!!! I can't believe this!

P.S. I miss being able to leave messages on your blog...
post #20 of 310
I get really worked up for you, too. Dh left me and ds around the same time. I sometimes wish he was just absent, that way I coul djust deal with the money thing myself and then have full custody and nothing to worry about. I am lucky, though, he is a decent dad and does pay some. But the drama involved really sucks, and I am not sure lately what good of an influence he is being on ds, I am starting to get scared.

Move on with your life, mama!
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Single Parenting
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Single Parenting › craziness (vent-ish but short)