I Am Not Going To The Hospital!
OK, I'm a grumpy girl this morning
DH talked to the midwife and now wants us to birth at the hospital. He said "well, we're paying her all this $$, we should take her advice" I said, "yes, we're paying her all this $$, we should certainly listen to her advice, but it's still our decision!"
Apparently they're worried because I have an anterior placenta, and if it is overtop of the scar then sometimes that causes worse postpartum hemoraging. From what she explained to me at our last visit the risk is very small, though, and only IF the placenta is over the scar. To know that would be another ultrasound. I really have to find out more about this. It doesn't seem to me to be that large of a risk to warrent birthing at the hospital. I was planning on declining the second ultrasound because I think the risk IF the placenta is over the scar is still neglegable. But now they are pushing to get it done.
Then, to top it all off, he brings up the breech discussion. If ever there was a time to swear online this would be it! Apparently if the baby is breech and we decide to deliver vaginally (I'm not sure she recommends this, but told us she would do it) it would HAVE to be at the hospital. Now, I want to know, what can go so wrong in a breech birth that you need to be closer to a hospital than 20 minutes??!? What specific risk are they thinking of that I would be better off at the hospital for?? The reason for the almost swearing is that we're only 23 weeks!! A little early to be worrying about breech, don'cha think!!?!! 23 weeks! And that was based on the 18 week ultrasound, where the tech TOLD us baby was head down but wrote on the report it was breech! Less than halfway there and already worried about breech!
My last baby was breech. At this point I think it is all scare tactics to get me to agree to be at the hospital. They know the breech thing is an emotional issue for me; I think that's why it's come up now.
Then the argument came up that it doesn't matter where you birth, no doctors/nurses would be involved unless we specifically asked them blah blah blah. Bull$$. Does the mama's psychology not matter at all? If the mama is uncomfortable, scared, whatever, does that not have an impact on the labour/birth? I know it in my bones that the only way to do this safely is out of the hospital, and I need to stick to my guns on this one.
DH asked what would have to happen for me to be comfortable birthing in the hospital. I said that I would have to be sick - something else would hve to go wrong. I just don't feel that anything really dangerous is going on yet.
Now, to her credit, everytime I've talked to the midwife about this she's always respected my wishes. When I say that we are going to have it at the birth center she agrees and drops it. She even said once that she respects a woman knowing where she NEEDS to give birth.
Anyway, I guess this has turned into a long rant, but I had to get it off my chest. I am feeling very strong and determind. But stressed, because I want DH to agree, or at least be comfortable with the way things are going. But I feel so strongly about this that I would do it without him if I had to! No, I really don't think that would happen, but, you know, you have to think of all the what ifs.
One more thing: Apparently I know too much!
Funny, with DD's birth I didn't know enough and ended up with surgery that was probably not necessary. hahaha.
g.Edited to add:
ps. can anyone tell me how to edit a thread title?? I've never been able to figure that out (yes, in 995 posts, I know), and it just doesn't seem right anymore!. thx. g.