And my 11 year old in band, the 7, 5 and 15 month old kids...and the one car? And for my 15 year old, you darn bet I'm going to be involved. I enjoy and appreciate that I can do things with him at his age, where a lot of times, teens are pushing away their parents.
And I don't feel the situation is black and white...it's VERY gray. We are not a second family or the other family. We are all family together. If my ex signed my boys up for something, and then asked me to pick it up, I might say no depending on the situation. And I wouldn't sign them up for something and wait for the last minute and say, you do this. If I couldn't manage it, and he couldn't manage it for whatever reason, then they just won't do it. Period. End of story. No finger pointing.
And don't forget, the blame was placed on me, not DH. And not because of my kids. The accusation was I would get mad if DH took her. Her meaning was I would get mad because of jealousy.