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How do we deal with this?!! - Page 2

post #21 of 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by boobybunny View Post
You have the right to be frustrated, but what you guys really said was that your husband's step children are more important, take priority over his daughter's needs and wants, at least this one time.
But what message are you sending the other children to tell them that their activities are cancelled because someone who asked for something at a later date get first priority? Wouldn't the Husband's stepchildren's Mother be sending the same message that you're saying will be sent to this person's stepdaughter, by telling her own children they need to cancel their activities because their Stepfather's child comes first? Why not first come first serve in a case like this? Is it right for ANY child, to be told that another is more important and therefore they need to cancel whatever they previously had planned because of this?
post #22 of 27
No, but a high school student is much more cabable of hanging out, waiting, getting his/her own way to their event than the 10 year old. I am not trying to start stuff here, just trying to help the OP understand why maybe it is not just a black and white situation.
post #23 of 27
Thread Starter 
And my 11 year old in band, the 7, 5 and 15 month old kids...and the one car? And for my 15 year old, you darn bet I'm going to be involved. I enjoy and appreciate that I can do things with him at his age, where a lot of times, teens are pushing away their parents.

And I don't feel the situation is black and white...it's VERY gray. We are not a second family or the other family. We are all family together. If my ex signed my boys up for something, and then asked me to pick it up, I might say no depending on the situation. And I wouldn't sign them up for something and wait for the last minute and say, you do this. If I couldn't manage it, and he couldn't manage it for whatever reason, then they just won't do it. Period. End of story. No finger pointing.

And don't forget, the blame was placed on me, not DH. And not because of my kids. The accusation was I would get mad if DH took her. Her meaning was I would get mad because of jealousy.
post #24 of 27
Sorry, I will back out of this. Forgive me for trying to shed light on the other side of the story. You are right, you are so right, I never should have tried.
post #25 of 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by boobybunny View Post
Sorry, I will back out of this. Forgive me for trying to shed light on the other side of the story. You are right, you are so right, I never should have tried.
There is no need to be rude.

To the OP, . You certainly are in a tough spot.
post #26 of 27
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by boobybunny View Post
Sorry, I will back out of this. Forgive me for trying to shed light on the other side of the story. You are right, you are so right, I never should have tried.
No...you don't have to be sorry. I think we're both in tough situations. It just happens that I'm the stepmom and you're the mom. I know my situation, we are dealing with a particularly mean spirited mom. You, it sounds like are dealing with an insensitive father. I completely see how what's going on here may seem quite reminiscent to what you deal with. If you could see the things we've dealt with, you'd understand what I mean. And I've seen quite a few situations where dads get remarried (or new relationship) and forget they have children.

Sorry if I got a little touchy. I got defensive and I shouldn't have.
post #27 of 27
I'm really glad you got the scheduling problem worked out. I still find it incredible that Charlie's mother signed her up for soccer and then expected your family to deal with it. You obviously had to find help to solve all the time conflicts. It seems like the mother could have done as much as well. Like a pp mentioned, she could have checked with the coach and arranged a car pool for her dd. I can understand her trying to fulfill her dd's wish to play soccer by signing her up knowing full well that she couldn't bring/pick up her dd herself. I imagine she thought "where there's a will, there's a way". But dumping the issue on you and being nasty about it was not constructive in the least.
Anyhow, kudos to you for finding a solution.
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