Crystal's letterI know I'm chiming in late on this thread but I wanted to say to you Crystal, you did an amazing job of respectfully presenting your feelings in a non-threataning manner.
As a midwife of 12 years, I can say that I've learned an awful lot about how important it is to integrate into the woman and the families needs. I have dissapointed clients as well, and have learned a great deal from those expereinces.
Many midwives have held a cervical lip, broken waters, done things to get labor going, etc.. but I think the key is that these things have to be an agreement between the woman her midwife. The midwife can give her best advice about how to best help a woman. She can tell her that labor will be more effective if she changes position or whatever the case may be, but in the end, the woman needs to be supported in her choice. Even if that choice means the birth eventually ends in a transport.
We walk a delicate line between protecting the space that allows a woman to birth her baby as nature intended and being a servant of knowledge and experience that can be useful and helpful when things aren't straight forward. Most of the time this is a recepie for successful and beautiful birth experiences. But sometimes, if things are out of balance and everyone involved is not in sync, there is dissapointment for obvious reasons.
It will probably be hard for your midwife to read the letter. The reason is because we have our heart and soul invested into helping women avoid painful experiences. We want them to acheive a marvelous, blissful birth and we want to share in that bliss.
I wish you love and healing. From the sound of your letter, I'd say you're well on your way.