Boy Scouts: male-focused alternatives?

[fiddlefern]

I would like my sons to have an opportunity to develop male role models as they get older, but the religious and sexual orientation exclusivity of the Boy Scouts isn't something I want them to learn.

(I am assuming that my kiddos will both identify as male, though if I am wrong about this, I already know the Girl Scouts are a very open and wonderful organization that one of my gender-queer friends is involved with).

The survival skills/ camping part isn't so important- I can teach that myself- my mom knew more about that than my dad anyhow.

Thoughts?

[Pandora114]

Big Brothers/Big Sisters...that's all I can think of right now..

[alllyssa]

Boy Scouts isn't religiously exclusive at all. And Girl Scouts is non-religious (I've had kids in both). While many churches/temples/mosques, etc. "sponsor" troops (offer a gathering place for meetings), boys are not required to join that church or any church at all. There are references to "God", but that can be interpreted however your family chooses. If your son doesn't believe in any higher power, god, creator, etc. then I suppose he might run into issues with some merit badges or even the "pledge" that the boys recite. If this is the case and he's interested in joining, you can easily find a troop at a school which won't have religious ties at all.

Good luck,

[alegna]

Officially boy scouts do not allow boys who do not believe in "God"

-Angela

[Maggi315]

The onlyones I can think of are boy scouts and big brothers. Also, my husband tells me he went to a program growing up called Boys club? An afterschool type of thing. My niece goes to a girls club and they do all kinds of stuff, it's afterschool and in the summer. Maybe you have one of those, I think they are secular.

maybe you could call an UU church and ask them if they have a club or know of something else?

[grisandole]

Are you thinking of the Boys & Girls club? They are a nationwide non-profit and do many great things. It's a good organization and they usually have great male staff, though it varies by site.

[pixiepunk]

while i do have a big problem personally with both the organization's references to "god" and the exclusion of homosexuals, i am still going to allow my son to take part in boy scouts. my DH was a scout and had such an amazing, positive experience (was an Eagle Scout) and his grandfather was a troop leader. As long as I feel comfortable with the individuals who are running the show locally, and I don't feel they are pushing a religious agenda or teaching my child anti-gay sentiments, I feel the benefits of being a scout outweigh the negatives of the organization. those things, while being official policies of the scouts, do not necessarily reflect how many of their members and leaders feel, so i'm going to give it a chance when DS is old enough.

we also live in a very rural area where there are not any alternatives that offer similar activities. if there were i would likely feel differently.

[Momily]

As a single mom I struggle with this. One thing that has been really good for DS has been sports. I've sought out sports where the coach moves up with the kids. His third grade soccer team, for example, has had the same head coach since Kindergarten, and his tae kwon do teacher will be the same from white belt to black.

Also in the summer, DS goes to a 6 week long day camp that's all boys/male counselors. There's a girls camp on the same property, but they only meet up on the bus or at the occasional swim meet. This was his first summer at camp and he loved it -- it's very stereotypical boy with activities such as rock climbing, archery and "butt wrestling".

We're also on the waiting list for Big Brothers.

[LilyGrace]

What about 4H? It's more family oriented and the kids have such a blast learning and doing things that are important to them.

[sea_joy]

Hm.

My FIL wouldn't allow my DH to join Boy Scouts because he believed it was early training into the military mindset, it's a little harsh sounding when you put it like that, and I don't feel too strongly about it, but I don't think my son will be going into boyscouts. (Not that letting your son go will make him join the army, just an opinion).

Does he go to school? You can see if they have a mentoring program, or maybe find a church or a Male friend who could commit to being with him once a week?

You could consider starting your own? Find your son a Male friend (if possible) and have his friends gather at your / someone elses house with thier Fathers/ Uncles/ Grandfathers? MAle friends once a month and do some kind of activity?

I'll bet you could put up signs at your local grocery store and your kids school and host them at an alternative venue, like parks, swimming pools, or churches usually will rent out their meeting rooms.

Good Luck,
Crystal

[savithny]

We have both 4H- which I like, and also a "primitive pursuits" school, that teaches wilderness survival (but in an earth-friendly, nature-respecting way not a Hiyah Navy SEAL way), which I'm hoping the kids show interest in because *I* think its way cool!

[sea_joy]

Originally Posted by savithny

We have both 4H- which I like, and also a "primitive pursuits" school, that teaches wilderness survival (but in an earth-friendly, nature-respecting way not a Hiyah Navy SEAL way), which I'm hoping the kids show interest in because *I* think its way cool!

That sounds fun! Kids really need to get outside and learn that you can function in the wilderness. I told a friend of mine that I have a soft spot in my heart for anyone who can start a fire (both in a fireplace and on a beach) and keep it going until it's nice ang big and warm. Obviously your children will not be learning how to light BIG fires , but wilderness survival is cool.

I did 4-H as a kid, I did Gardening, Cow Milking, Knitting, Caly bead making and a lot of other kids did horses (although this costs money) worked with farm animals and did lots of outdoorsey stuff. I liked it.

-Crystak

[fiddlefern]

Thanks for the great ideas, everyone! My dh rocks, but the only grandpa who lives nearby is 70 this year, and the uncles live out of state. I'm thinking forward to the time when we parents aren't as much of an influence, and I'd rather have mentors in place than have my kiddos at the mercy of their peer group for support (I've been doing a lot of reading ).

So far here's my list of ideas:

- Big Brothers
- A Boy Scout group who locally has acceptable policies
- Boys & Girls club
- Ask around at a UU church (we actually belong to a Christian-focused spiritual community, it's the exclusivity and kind of right-wing religious stuff that I have a problem with about Boy Scouts).
- A boy's summer camp
- 4H
- Mentor from school
- Mentor within a spiritual community (Unfortunately most of the men in our very small community are 60 or up, but it's a good idea to think about in the future- we have plenty of time here).
- Encourage the guys within our circle of friends to get together regularly, i.e. uncles dads grandpas (I REALLY like this idea).
- primitive pursuits school

That ought to be enough ideas to get me started.

Ah, that's the beauty of group brainstorming.