This pregnancy I tried to remedy all of the things that put me at a disadvantage with DS#1’s L&D (19 days overdue, castor oil, failure to progress, hospital transfer, epidural, 3 hours of pushing, tear, etc.). I stayed active…swimming and chasing a toddler the entire pregnancy. I saw an acupuncturist/cranial sacral therapist (C) the entire pregnancy. She worked on various pregnancy ailments, but mostly on stabilizing my twisted uterus/misaligned hips and getting the baby in the optimal position. I did exercises every evening in the 3rd trimester to get the baby in the right position for delivery. I tried to eat well and I rested as much as I could throughout the pregnancy.
For L&D preparation, I read every book our libraries have on natural childbirth. I reread the birth stories about 4 weeks prior to delivery. We hired a doula, K. I didn’t set unrealistic expectations for DH’s role during delivery. He would be there for me – but he didn’t need to act as my primary L&D coach. He could just be my husband and friend. We chose an amazing birth center. The staff there treat each woman as an important individual. They are dedicated to providing the birth experience that each woman desires. My prenatal care was excellent, decisions were left up to me. Tests were only run with my consent.
One of the most challenging aspects of this pregnancy was how to include DS#1 in the process. He was the first person we told I was pregnant – the morning DH and I found out. We included him in our discussions and always discussed having a new sibling in a highly positive light. He was so excited. I’ve never spent a night away from DS#1, in fact, he has never slept a night without me beside him. I was concerned about how having a baby could impact that. Additionally, when I became pregnant, DS#1 was still nursing very regularly. I was determined to let DS#1 self-wean, and I thought it was likely that he might during the pregnancy, but if he didn’t, I was concerned about being away from my nursing child for the delivery/recovery of my second. My birth center welcomed DS#1 for all of my prenatal care – the midwives got to know him along with DH and I. DS#1 was 100% welcome at the birth in any capacity I wanted, whether I used the birth center or the affiliated hospital. For everyone’s sanity, I needed a care provider for him, though. We have no family in the area, so I asked a good friend, C, if she would be willing. She jumped at the opportunity and eased my concern about care for DS#1. DS#1 LOVES “Miss C”. She was willing to be “on-call” for the whole thing.
As my pregnancy neared the end, I was anxious. Would things turn out like I had carefully planned? I learned from DS#1’s delivery that lots of things are out of the scope of my control, but I had invested so much energy in lining things up just right this time, I hoped I wouldn’t be disappointed. At 36 weeks I started having “real” contractions. They were low and crampy. I could only use the birth center between 37-42 weeks so I took it easy until 37 weeks. At 37 weeks I started taking evening primrose oil orally and vaginally to prep my cervix. At this time I was also drinking red raspberry leaf tea 3x per day to tone my uterus. DS#1 was still nursing, about 3-4x per day, and I started letting him nurse longer and longer, hoping the nipple stimulation would help. He averaged 20-30 minutes per session. I remained active and upbeat. This pregnancy seemed to take a harder toll on my body. I was very sore most evenings. 37 weeks turned to 38, and then to 39. I hoped I would deliver sometime between 39-40 weeks. No such luck. I seemed headed for another overdue baby…
At my 40 week appointment, D (midwife), offered to check my cervix and strip my membranes. I consented, as I wanted to make sure that I didn’t leave a stone unturned in trying to get this baby out in a timely manner. I made an appointment for the following Tuesday, he said I would need to get my membranes stripped again and have an amniotic fluid index ultrasound and NST if I made it to that appointment. We sure hoped not.
I cramped and contracted all day on Tuesday. Wednesday morning, my due date, I woke up to my mucous plug. Happy due date to me. I called K and C to let them know that things might happen in the next few days. Everyone was getting excited. Thursday I took a long walk which didn’t do anything but swell my legs and feet even more.
On Friday (the day I had envisioned as the day I would give birth) absolutely nothing was happening. I was so disappointed. My entire body ached from top to bottom. Right before DH got home from work I had a massive meltdown and ended up crying for almost an hour and a half. I finally managed to get myself up and into the bath (first of the pregnancy). It soothed my aching body and mind. I resolved to snap out of it.
Saturday we went to the National Zoo and walked their entire hill/mountain. I swore if that didn’t put me into labor, nothing would. It didn’t, but it was a marvelous day and a great outing for the three of us. I felt remarkably good.
Sunday they asked for prayers for me at church.
Monday I swam a mile. I felt so great in the water, I kept saying that I would swim the baby out. Nothing was happening.
Tuesday I woke up really crampy and contracting. I complained to DH that it seemed that every Tuesday I felt like crap, but nothing ever happened. We went to ½ of music class (everyone was surprised to still see me) and then rushed to my appointment. E, the student nurse-midwife and D did my appointment. I insisted that I wanted a VERY vigorous membrane stripping today, and I told them all of the things we were continuing to do to get things going (EPO, RRL tea, walking, swimming, sex, eating pineapple, nursing frequently) and said that I had lost my plug last Wednesday. When E checked me she said I was “VERY soft” and a good 3cm, 80% effaced. She did the membrane stripping and then D checked me. He said I was more a 3-4, my cervix was anterior and he did another membrane stripping and stretched my cervix. They had done their best. I passed my NST and we got an appointment later in the afternoon for an ultrasound. D said that we could have set it all up last week, but he “was sure I would have been in labor by now!” I made an appointment for the following Monday. D also gave me a permission slip to buy a “labor tincture” (black & blue cohashes) that he was recommending I use. I told him I needed to do more research before I took the tincture, but it didn’t hurt to have it on hand. He said if I didn’t go before then, I could go in on my due date and have them break my water to see if I could get into labor before I was timed out of the birth center. It gave me hope.
I cramped and had contractions for most of the rest of the afternoon. I didn’t get a nap because we had an ultrasound appointment. My fluid was fine, the baby was healthy and they were estimating that the baby was 9 pounds, 6 ounces +/- 22 ounces. Based on my experience with DS#1, I was afraid that I would have an 11 pound kid!
I made calls to C and K that afternoon to give them an update. K also said that she thought I would have gone into labor by now (though we both know you can’t predict these things). I confirmed both of their schedules for the following days, just in case. By dinnertime my cramping had let up. After dinner we went out to Baskin Robbins for some ice cream. We all went to bed pretty early and slept well.
Wednesday, September 19th I woke up at 3:30 in the morning and needed to pee. I crawled back into bed and laid there awake. Insomnia had hit again. I was getting it about every 2-3 nights, very likely due to my anxiety about being overdue. I laid there and mulled over the previous day, as I tried to go back to sleep. Right around 4am I had a doozy of a contraction. I glanced at the clock and thought I would wait and see if another one came and how far apart they were. Sure enough, another one came about 8 minutes later. I actually moaned softly through it because it was intense. At that point I was awake. I thought that I would get out of bed, because while I doubted I was in labor, I knew that I would not be sleeping anymore that night.
I got out of bed and cleaned the two bathrooms upstairs. DH heard me and thought I was in a foul mood because I was banging stuff around (he thought when he got up he would get yelled at for something he didn’t do). I was actually trying to be really quiet, but things sound really loud at 4am. I headed downstairs to make some breakfast because I was starving. I was having contractions.
I cleaned the two bathrooms downstairs, tidied up the kitchen, emptied the dishwasher and made my breakfast. This all took quite awhile because I was having pretty intense contractions. I started leaning on the counter or table and swaying my hips through them. I was doubtful I was in labor, but I knew progress was being made.
Finally, my breakfast was ready – scrambled eggs, instant oatmeal and a cup of Red Raspberry Leaf tea. I ate it quickly as it was tasty and I was hungry. I had some contractions sitting down and they were really uncomfortable. I had been trying to time them since coming downstairs and I was failing miserably. The best I could determine is that they were about 35-50 seconds long and 5-ish minutes apart, though they weren’t “clock-like”. I had another contraction and felt kind of sick to my stomach. I looked at the clock. It was 5:30. DH had been asleep about 7 hours. I decided to wake him up. I still wasn’t sure I was in labor (self-doubt plagued my entire labor experience), but I figured he had had enough rest even if he ended up going into work. We had been warned that I *might* go fast because of how far my cervix was already dilated, so I thought he should be up getting things ready, just in case. I also needed someone else to time the contractions, because it just wasn’t something I could do myself.
I woke DH up and he hopped out of bed with amazing energy. He started getting things ready immediately, even though I told him I wasn’t sure. I went downstairs to grab a few things (I was accomplishing things MUCH more slowly at this point, but I still had the energy to try) and had a contraction hit at the bottom of the stairs. I rushed to my birth ball (my best friend through pregnancy) and got in the hands and knees position. I had a really intense contraction and told DH “I’m going to throw up!” Right as the contraction tapered off I rushed into the utility room, grabbed a rag and threw up. Then I threw up again – all over the utility room. Then 3 more times into the wastebasket I grabbed. All of my breakfast had come back up. I cleaned up the utility room and pondered my situation. I hoped that I wouldn’t be as pukey as I had been with DS#1, as it contributed to my dehydration, etc. I realized my birth ball might not be as friendly in labor as it had been in pregnancy.
I headed upstairs and told DH that I would be calling K and C this morning to warn them to be ready. Both would need to adjust their schedules. I continued to stand and sway my hips during the contractions. DH was timing them and they were coming every 3-5 minutes and lasting from 35-60 seconds. DH was watching for my inability to walk and talk through contractions. He kept asking me if I could. I kept responding, “I don’t know, what do you want me to say?” I was irritable.
I went upstairs to shower. I had 2 long contractions and one short one in the shower. I still felt moderately nauseous. The water felt good. I got myself ready between contractions, even putting on makeup. DS#1 was still asleep. Around this time, I began to moan through my contractions. I wasn’t loud, but low moaning felt right. DH poured me a glass of Gatorade. I drank some and promptly threw it up on my next contraction. I became concerned that I would be vomiting for the rest of the labor.
At 6:30am I called K. I told her what I was feeling and during our conversation I had a contraction. She asked me to call the midwives and call her back. I still doubted I was in labor (I wasn’t sure), but she wanted the midwives to make a determination, and she didn’t want me to wait too long. I called the midwives at around 6:45am. J was on call for the next 15 minutes (D would be on call afterwards). I told her what was going on and explained what my status had been the previous day. I explained that E and D had “roughed up my cervix” at my request and that became the big joke of the day. I had two contractions while I was on the phone with her. The first one I just breathed through while our conversation paused, the second one she was giving me instructions and I was trying to communicate with her. It became clear at that point that “talking through a contraction” should be “carry a meaningful conversation through a contraction”. I was aware while I was trying to talk with her during that second contraction that I was pretty incoherent. J wanted me to head to the birth center. We were facing a little rush hour traffic and live about 35 minutes away so we agreed that I would arrive at the center at 8am.
When I got off the phone with her I called C. She had told me that she had a meeting in Virginia that day, so I wanted to give her plenty of time to rearrange her day. I briefly told her what was going on (had another contraction on the phone with her) and asked her to meet us at the birth center at 8am.
I called K back and she agreed to meet us at the birth center at 8am.
I continued to try to get things ready to go. It was around 7am. I wondered whether or not I would nurse DS#1 when we woke him up. I knew that it would help him wake up happier, and I know that nursing during labor can really help speed things along. Ultimately, I chickened out. My contractions were getting super intense and I was facing a 45 minute car ride. I didn’t want to scare DS#1 with my vocalizations while he was trying to nurse. DH and I crawled into bed to wake him up and he was a little cranky at first. Once I said clearly to him, “Mommy is in labor. We are going to have our baby today. We need to go see the midwives,” he perked right up and jumped out of bed. I noticed that while I was in bed my contractions felt more manageable. I wouldn’t have expected that.
I helped get DS#1 ready while DH finished packing the car. I was having very intense contractions and didn’t seem to have a lot of focus or patience. I had DH snap a belly shot before we left and that picture tells a thousand words. DS#1 was super excited. I was vaguely upset that he would be missing his first full day of preschool.
I rushed to the car after a contraction and tried to settle in. I had two pillows and a bowl in case I threw up. As soon as the car started moving I got intense contractions. Every bump or turn made them worse. I had DH turn on Rascal Flatts and tried to sing along to see if that would help. I could hum until a contraction started then I would just moan. I whined a little bit about how uncomfortable I was. DS#1 kept saying, “Mama, you are working hard.” He wasn’t the least bit bothered by my vocalizations.
We arrived at the birth center right before 8am. D was waiting for me. I commented on how I wasn’t so sure I liked what he had done to me yesterday now! I had a contraction right when I got in the door and leaned against the wall for it. Then I moved to the bed. I was still unsure that this was the real thing. D checked me and I was 6cm and 100% effaced. I was happy that I was at the point to use the tub. He said he would get it ready for me. I handled the next few contractions in bed. When the tub was ready D encouraged me to get in. I wasn’t sure I should, as I didn’t want to slow anything down, but he assured me that I could always get out.
I got in the tub and it felt heavenly. My contractions were still very intense but I felt better between them because of the water. DS#1 stayed in the bathroom with me splashing the water and rubbing my arm. He was still so excited.
I was still moaning through my contractions. Sometime after 8 K arrived. She came in and sat on the tub behind me. She asked me how I was dealing with them and I gave her a rundown of what I had tried. She witnessed me vocalizing through one and encouraged me to “vibrate my voice all the way down to the baby.” It was the exact advice I needed. I was keeping my voice low rather than shrill, but I needed the visual focus to get my vocalizations low to my cervix. That helped immensely.
Not long after that C arrived and took over DS#1’s care. I didn’t see him much after that. A few times he came in to hold my hand or rub my arm, but once he ran in loudly in the middle of a contraction and I asked DH afterwards to make sure he didn’t come in the middle of a contraction again. I didn’t mind him in the room, I just didn’t want him interrupting a contraction.
J came in to say hello. We had another laugh about my “roughing up the cervix” comment. D had asked me, “What did you tell J that we did to your cervix yesterday?” when I arrived and we had laughed about it. Later in the morning M (midwife) stopped in to say hi too. She was wearing her adorable son.
E arrived and took over the main monitoring of the labor. Because K was with me and DH was taking care of my fluids and holding my hand, the midwives and nurses didn’t stay throughout.
I continued to vocalize through each contraction. I was fairly animated between them, I think I kept my sense of humor throughout most of the labor. At one point I had a contraction in the tub that I just couldn’t seem to stay on top of. I wanted to scream and climb the walls. K saw me losing control and helped me get through it. When it was over she encouraged me to drop my jaw even further when I would get that feeling. It did two things: a completely open jaw will lead to an opened cervix, and it also was an external sign to K of how intense the contraction was.
K stroked my hair and encouraged me through every contraction. DH held my hand and made sure I was drinking (I had ice chips and Gatorade – as long as I didn’t drink more than a sip, everything stayed down). I was having occasional hiccups throughout labor that were annoying/funny. I never “got the hiccups” but I would have individual ones regularly throughout.
K asked if I had urinated recently. I hadn’t since right before we left the house. She encouraged me to go try. I didn’t want to, but I got out of the tub and went to the toilet. I started shaking pretty badly. I sat backwards on the toilet and had a VERY intense contraction. I was really uncomfortable. After a few contractions I stopped shaking but the contractions stayed rough. I managed to urinate (later I found out that I was somewhat dehydrated), and with K’s encouragement I got the courage to stay on the toilet a little longer (DH estimates about 15 contractions – he was surprised that I stayed that long, as everyone could tell how intense they were). I wanted to go back to the tub, but I knew that if I was feeling this way the change of position was helping me make some major progress. K rubbed my back through the contractions.
I went back to the tub and things stayed intense. K asked me about back labor and I assured her that while I was feeling increasing radiation through my back and hips it was not the concentration of the contraction. The contractions were low and strong, right where they should be.
E checked the baby’s heartrate regularly and everyone commented on how low the baby was getting and how much the baby seemed to be enjoying labor – the heartrate was steady and strong the entire labor. E asked me if I was feeling pushy at all and I responded that I didn’t think so – I didn’t know. I was so unsure of everything. Everyone in the room would say I was doing an excellent job laboring and I just didn’t believe anyone. I didn’t feel confident.
After a few more contractions I asked K if having the urge to urinate could be a symptom of being pushy. I was confident I didn’t have to pee, as I had just gone, but I was feeling pressure on my urethra. K asked me if I wanted to be checked and I said “I guess so”. I was scared to be checked, because I was always scared of making no progress.
E came in and checked me. She thought 9 at first but then said that I was an 8 and at 0 station. I had made progress and everyone in the room was happy, but I was scared inside. When I heard I was an 8 but not showing signs of a textbook transition, I began to fear transition. I wondered if I could handle a transition, because I was confident that I wasn’t there yet (in reality, I probably was). I didn’t tell anyone my fears, I just continued to labor.
K encouraged me to switch positions in the tub. Again, I didn’t want to, but I did what she asked. She had my best interests at heart. I did hands and knees in the tub and it was super intense again. E came in to check the baby’s heartrate and I had a VERY LONG contraction. I got a contraction and then the tail end of it never went away, then another contraction started and that tail end didn’t go away, then another contraction came. Finally it was gone and E commented that it had been a long one. After a few more contractions I noticed that I made a “bowel movement” face during the contraction. I hadn’t necessarily felt “pushy” but I was involuntarily making faces. E checked me and I was sure that I wasn’t done, but she said that I was complete. It was time to push. I told everyone that I was scared (I said the same thing with DS#1).
D encouraged me to just do what my body said. I tried pushing on my hands and knees but it didn’t feel right. I went back on my back/side in the tub and gave a couple of animal-like pushes. D checked me and noted that I had an anterior lip of cervix that still needed to be pushed back. They encouraged me to do more “hospital-style” pushing (hands behind knees, etc.) while E tried to push the lip back. During one of those pushes my water broke. It was clear. The lip remained, so D tried to push it back. I started having really long breaks between contractions. It was probably the much needed rest my body needed to get through this phase. It was completely amazing how your body only gives you exactly what you can handle when you are doing it naturally.
I would push during the contractions and D said I was doing really well, but after each contraction he would say that the lip was still there. It was stubborn. I think I swore a little then. It was super uncomfortable to push with someone’s hand in my vagina, and it didn’t seem to be working. I must have pushed like this in the tub for about 45 minutes or more.
Finally, D asked me to get out of the tub. That was a big step. I had reiterated to him that morning when I arrived that I really wanted a water birth because I thought it would help with the tearing. He assured me that water helps, but so does position. Nevertheless, he knew my wish for a water birth, as did everyone else. We were to the point that the lip wasn’t moving and I ran the risk of swelling my cervix. I’m pretty sure that if it had swelled, I probably would have ended up transferred for a C-section. D made the right choice and managed my care perfectly. He asked me to get in the hands and knees position on the bed. Often just the change from water to land will help with progress…
When I got on the bed I was completely naked. I pushed through one or two contractions and the lip was gone. My pushing was very animalistic, but I wasn’t convinced that it was efficient. I was very hot (DH was using a cool washcloth on my head and I was sucking ice like a madwoman between contractions). I craved ice water. Everyone was very encouraging, but I was really uncomfortable (in my vagina/cervix).
D said I could switch positions and encouraged me to try side lying. I started pushing with vigor once I assumed that position. I made quick progress and I was super uncomfortable. I kept saying, “It hurts!” but it was hurting in the right way. The baby came down pretty quickly (for me) at this point. I could feel progress being made. Part of the reason I had the courage to push like an animal and really make the progress is because L, my nurse, was applying warm compresses to my perineum. She was doing this to help with stretching, but to me it felt like she was holding my rectum in place, because I felt like I was going to blow it out. It is a VERY scary feeling. The warm compresses provided enough counterpressure to give me confidence.
The pushes I was doing were completely exhausting me. K kept encouraging me to take cleansing breaths between contractions. I was so hot. I kept wanting to push even without a contraction because the feeling was so intense. In fact, it was so intense I couldn’t keep track of when I was having a contraction and when I wasn’t. I had D monitor my stomach and tell me when I was having a contraction so I didn’t have to worry about it. E was going to catch the baby. At one point I asked if they could see the head and they said yes. They encouraged me to touch and I felt the head. It was so soft. Everyone said they could see dark hair. Each push I got great verbal encouragement from everyone in the room.
I heard L go out to the kitchen and call for DS#1. I knew that I would be done in a matter of minutes and that gave me hope, though I was really out of it. DS#1 came in the room and DH asked that they invite C in too, if she wanted (thank goodness she did because she took an amazing chronology of pictures during and after the birth). DS#1 came up on the bed with DH and they were right at my back. K was up by my head. She whispered in my ear that DS#1’s pure joy was going to make her cry. I think she encouraged me to look at him, but I couldn’t – I was too out of it. They held up a mirror for me to look as I was crowning – the head looked EXACTLY like DS#1’s and I said so.
On the next push I started to deliver the head. They had me breathe and I gave an involuntary push at that time while I tried to pant through. The face was out and I heard them asking DS#1 about it. I felt the head out, but my contraction was over. After I had birthed DS#1’s head his body slipped right out. This time that didn’t happen. It seemed like an eternity that the head was out and I wasn’t having a contraction to birth the body. Finally, I got a contraction and pushed the baby out. It was 12:42 p.m.
DH announced it right away: “IT’S ANOTHER BOY! It’s Oliver!” as they placed him on my chest immediately. I looked at him and said, “He’s a peanut! He’s so small!” I held him and rubbed him, asking if he needed to be suctioned (he didn’t – and actually I found out later that they only use the bulb syringe in about 50% of the babies). He started crying right away and I started trying to calm him down right away. It was so amazing. DS#1 and DH were watching him right over my shoulder. He cried for awhile, I sang “You Are My Sunshine”. They clamped the cord after it stopped pulsing and DH cut it. I delivered the placenta without any problems. They found that I had torn again (they suspect my scar tissue from DS#1 tore, so basically I have the same 2nd degree tear), and prepared to do the tissue repair. I handed Oliver off to DH to get in position for my tissue repair and he had DS#1 count Oliver’s fingers and toes (one of the highlights of DS#1’s experience). The tissue repair took quite awhile because E was doing it under very close supervision from D. They knew that I had healed tight with DS#1 so they took care to minimize that risk this time. D was concerned that my uterus wasn’t clamping down quickly enough so I had a shot of Pitocin which did the trick. I felt pretty weak and shaky. I got Oliver back during the tissue repair – he never left our arms.
After my repair was over they had me try to pee while they changed the sheets. Then I settled back into bed to nurse Oliver. He was a pro and nursed for about an hour and a half before doing the post-birth crash. I had some of my green enchiladas for lunch and rehashed the experience with anyone who came into the room (C, C, DH, my nurses, etc.). They did Oliver’s newborn exam and weighed and measured him. Much to my dismay, he was the EXACT same size as DS#1 had been 9 pounds, 7 ounces & 21-3/4”. He also had that nice 36cm head! We had slices of birthday cake that DS#1 had baked with C when I was in labor. Then I took a shower and we had a birthday party with gifts for DS#1 and Oliver.
In the meantime, DS#1 had tried to jump off of a stool and crashed his face on the floor bumping a tooth back permanently and splitting his lip open. This was after C took him in the car to get him some sort of nap, because he was too wired. It put a damper on the afternoon, but has to be mentioned…
We packed up to leave and were out the door by 6:00 p.m. We came home made some phone calls, sent an email and DH unpacked. C stopped by the party store and bought some balloons for the front yard. She stayed until about 9 p.m. which was a big help. We were all settled into bed by 10 p.m. where I slept well and woke up being snuggled by both of my boys. Blissful.
When I reflect on my experience, I couldn’t be happier. This was definitely the most intense, amazing experience of my life.
:
Oliver Robert!
