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Leaving sleeping children in the car for under 3 minutes - Page 20

post #381 of 407
Ocean2-- I am so sorry. It seems like your prosecutor needs more to do. I wish you could have retained counsel and gone to trial. I think you would have had a better outcome.
post #382 of 407
Ocean2, thanks so much for the update. I am sorry about the result though. It's so unsettling to think that the prosecuter has so little to do that he has to focus his efforts on something like your case. The police officer too. I wish you the best of luck in San Jose.
post #383 of 407
Quote:
Originally Posted by dubfam View Post
Are you serious??!!!!! :

It was at 7-11!!! Obviously the person isn't going to be in there for hours, and it wasn't even hot outside!! How would you be justified in destroying another person's property like that??

Don't you think that it would be traumatizing for the kids to be woken up a raging, self appointed safety officer smashing their car window and taking them out of the vehicle???!!!

It is not illegal to leave your kid in the car for 3 minutes in front of 7-11 where I live...but you will get arrested or physically attacked if you break a persons car window and take their children out of the car. I think that is called breaking & entering and attempted kidnapping.


IMHO their is nothing wrong with the Au Pair leaving them for a couple minutes as long as the OP is okay with it.

This is one of the silliest threads I've seen here in a while.
:

I agree. I guess that if I get really creative I can think of something that could happen to a child under those circumstances, but none of the things I can imagine are any likelier than things that could happen if the children accompanied the adult into the store. I think it is each parent's responsibility to evaluate risk in ALL circumstances and act reasonably. I don't think that blanket bans are necessary or helpful.
post #384 of 407
Wow!!! Really, I DID NOT read this entire thread by any means. It seams pretty 50/50 here on what people think. I have left my daughter in the car once while I ran into the gas station, (car off, locked, sleeping, and parked infront of doors clearly in my veiw). Afterward I felt weird about it, and asked my mom what she thought. She said that she wouldn't have done it, and honestly I haven't done it since. But I do leave her at my own home. She takes HORRIBLE naps, and the only way she will fall asleep most times is in the car. She wakes up emididately when we try to take her out of her carseat. I will leave her in there sometimes to sleep a little longer. (mostly if I am outside doing something.) But DH is really uncomfurtable with it. Allthough I don't see the danger. Especially in my own driveway, or garage with doors locked and constant monitoring. (we live in a safe naighborhood and know all of our naighbors)
I think the lady who yelled was quite out of line. I could see someone questioning the situation, but to just go off like that was not necessary.
post #385 of 407
Now I've far from read the entire thread, but I honestly don't get what the big deal is. Maybe this is a cultural thing, but I've never seen ANYONE take their kids into the service station when paying for petrol (gas) and I don't see how this situation is much different.
post #386 of 407
Hi I'm sorry to reincarnate this thread again, I just wanted to let you know that the Ohio Board of Nursing quickly responded (about 6 weeks after submitting all of the appropriate documents) by closing the case against my license, so I'm now just waiting on the California board to close it as well, although they have many more nurses there, so it may take awhile. I haven't looked into fostering/adopting since then, but am going to get fingerprinted for it next week to see if it's still a viable option.

Thanks again for all of your support during the most difficult time of my life (to date). You've been wonderful and I'm so very grateful for the well wishes and prayers.

Take care
post #387 of 407
Well, I don't think parents should leave kids in the car even for a moment, even when the car is in view. In this day and age, a child molester could be waiting behind any 7-11 for just that opportunity to smash the window, grab a kid, and drive away. It only takes seconds. Even if the mom could SEE the abduction from inside, doesn't mean she could get there in time to stop it.
So I vote, don't leave your kids in the car. Period.

BUT:

That said, I also think that the yelling passerby who threatened to "call the cops" went WAY overboard. If I witnessed the same thing, rather than yell and threaten the mother, I would stand by and quietly watch over the kids until Mom returned.

Kady
post #388 of 407
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hippie Mama in MI View Post
In this day and age, a child molester could be waiting behind any 7-11 for just that opportunity to smash the window, grab a kid, and drive away. It only takes seconds. Even if the mom could SEE the abduction from inside, doesn't mean she could get there in time to stop.
Woah. It is so sad that some people live in this much fear. People need to be looking at their own family, friends, & neighbors for child molesters... not behind the 7-11 at any given moment.
post #389 of 407
Quote:
Originally Posted by MamaAllNatural View Post
Woah. It is so sad that some people live in this much fear. People need to be looking at their own family, friends, & neighbors for child molesters... not behind the 7-11 at any given moment.
Yes ... and I'm just going to reiterate what I said early on in this thread: each parent needs to go with her own comfort level.

What concerns me is that so many people feel a need to try to determine for other parents what their comfort levels should be.

I frequently see other parents feeling comfortable with a low level of supervision that I just couldn't be comfortable with, myself -- but I'm too busy with my own life to really fret about other parents' decisions.

If anyone doesn't have enough of a life to keep them occupied -- I wish they'd find a way to get more of a life. Seriously. I think the world would be a better place, if more people were busy tending to their own families.
post #390 of 407
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hippie Mama in MI View Post
Well, I don't think parents should leave kids in the car even for a moment, even when the car is in view. In this day and age, a child molester could be waiting behind any 7-11 for just that opportunity to smash the window, grab a kid, and drive away. It only takes seconds. Even if the mom could SEE the abduction from inside, doesn't mean she could get there in time to stop it.
So I vote, don't leave your kids in the car. Period.

BUT:

That said, I also think that the yelling passerby who threatened to "call the cops" went WAY overboard. If I witnessed the same thing, rather than yell and threaten the mother, I would stand by and quietly watch over the kids until Mom returned.

Kady
I don't know about that. I don't think that child molesters are hiding behind 7-11 waiting to steal my kids. Statistically speaking, the most dangerous people are people that are close to you, that the child trusts.

I wouldn't leave my kids in the car to go grocery shopping, but I'm not going to drag them in with me to pay for has.
post #391 of 407
Quote:
Originally Posted by mammal_mama View Post
What concerns me is that so many people feel a need to try to determine for other parents what their comfort levels should be.
The thing is, other parents' comfort levels affect MY family's life. Due to other parents' fears, it's now illegal in many places for me to leave my kids briefly alone in the car, even if I judge the situation to be safe. You may say, well, that's what I'm talking about, they shouldn't have tried to get those laws passed, they should have just let other parents decide on their own comfort levels. But if they think other parents may be needlessly endangering their children, it makes sense that they'd want to prevent that. I don't necessarily think they're wrong to try to prevent me from doing something they feel is dangerous. I just think they're wrong about the actual danger involved - so, yes, you bet I want to get them to rethink what their comfort level ought to be.
post #392 of 407
Man, I'm weak. I've been trying to ignore this thread since yesterday. I thought it had finally died.


Quote:
Originally Posted by MamaAllNatural View Post
Woah. It is so sad that some people live in this much fear. People need to be looking at their own family, friends, & neighbors for child molesters... not behind the 7-11 at any given moment.
I'll just add in a : and be done with it (again... )
post #393 of 407
Quote:
Originally Posted by Daffodil View Post
The thing is, other parents' comfort levels affect MY family's life. Due to other parents' fears, it's now illegal in many places for me to leave my kids briefly alone in the car, even if I judge the situation to be safe. You may say, well, that's what I'm talking about, they shouldn't have tried to get those laws passed, they should have just let other parents decide on their own comfort levels. But if they think other parents may be needlessly endangering their children, it makes sense that they'd want to prevent that. I don't necessarily think they're wrong to try to prevent me from doing something they feel is dangerous. I just think they're wrong about the actual danger involved - so, yes, you bet I want to get them to rethink what their comfort level ought to be.
Bolding mine. I see your point -- only the difference is that the more relaxed parents aren't out trying, for instance, to pass laws that parents "have" to stay in the house while their kids are out playing in the yard. The more relaxed parents aren't calling CPS to complain about how other parents are being so protective that they're stifling their children.

I have heard more relaxed parents share how their children developed a better than average ability to handle various situations and keep themselves safe -- but I've never had the experience of being screamed at by one of these parents in a parking lot, because I took my children into the store with me.

So I'm all in favor of respectful dialog between all sorts of parents, as long as all parties involved are consenting to participating (i.e. they're not being forced into it because someone's going off on them).

So I'll rephrase my previous statement: I don't think it's bad to try to persuade other parents to change their comfort-levels -- I just think it's wrong to try to bully and coerce them.
post #394 of 407
I have left my sleeping kids in the van... not alone but with their big sister (13) to keep an eye on them while I pay for gas or drop something in someplace.
But that is me and I am usually fine with that... except when I hear here that people would call CPS or yell nasty things at me or think I suck as a mother because of that. I am actually more worried about "good intestioned" people being crappy to me then my kids being molested at a 7-11 while I pay for gas.

h
post #395 of 407
Quote:
Originally Posted by mammal_mama View Post
Yes ... and I'm just going to reiterate what I said early on in this thread: each parent needs to go with her own comfort level.

What concerns me is that so many people feel a need to try to determine for other parents what their comfort levels should be.

I frequently see other parents feeling comfortable with a low level of supervision that I just couldn't be comfortable with, myself -- but I'm too busy with my own life to really fret about other parents' decisions.

If anyone doesn't have enough of a life to keep them occupied -- I wish they'd find a way to get more of a life. Seriously. I think the world would be a better place, if more people were busy tending to their own families.

Personally, I leave my kids in the locked car when I pay for gas or stop at 7-11 if I can see the car for the entire time. Yes, there's a slim possibility that someone might break the car windows, hotwire the car and drive off with the kids but it seems to me that the kids and myself are MORE vulnerable during the time that I'm getting them in and out of the car.
post #396 of 407

Wow, I was crying as I was reading replies. I just do not understand how calling the police will help the situation rather then satisfying someones need for not sure even what.

post #397 of 407

If it were a foolish mistake and you are the one who stands on "calling the police" think of this before you take actions.

My sister went to a kid store as her son was crying for some toy and they were in the area of the son favorite store. My sis made a decision to go to the store and leave her daughter in the car as she was sleeping. She parked 60 feet away and could see the car from the store. Some "nice" woman called the police. My sis was not arrested as I am sure the police decided that it could be a mistake, bad one, but was. She was to appear in court.

Now, consider this, they are a family that has been very successful, community involved, helping some kid with leukemia by raising a heck of money.

They chose a neighborhood to live in for good schools, but far from work to ensure kids get the best education. My sis cut down on work hours to make sure she can stay with kids after school and have them do the homework etc.

Their son is 5,5, plays chess well, can read and write thanks to her. Her daughter 3,5 can do a puzzle of 100 on her own.

Now, this woman with wonderful kids is facing jail time, because of someone finding her of wrongdoing. Calling the police takes 5 minutes, telling mother that she was wrong by leaving kid in car takes 5 minutes.

Consequences - my sis life could be ruined and her kids could be taken away - put in foster care, grow up addicts or worse.

 

Leaving children in the car is wrong, however, whoever sees is should use common sense.

post #398 of 407
Quote:
Originally Posted by mommyoftwo2013 View Post

If it were a foolish mistake and you are the one who stands on "calling the police" think of this before you take actions.
My sister went to a kid store as her son was crying for some toy and they were in the area of the son favorite store. My sis made a decision to go to the store and leave her daughter in the car as she was sleeping. She parked 60 feet away and could see the car from the store. Some "nice" woman called the police. My sis was not arrested as I am sure the police decided that it could be a mistake, bad one, but was. She was to appear in court.
Now, consider this, they are a family that has been very successful, community involved, helping some kid with leukemia by raising a heck of money.
They chose a neighborhood to live in for good schools, but far from work to ensure kids get the best education. My sis cut down on work hours to make sure she can stay with kids after school and have them do the homework etc.
Their son is 5,5, plays chess well, can read and write thanks to her. Her daughter 3,5 can do a puzzle of 100 on her own.
Now, this woman with wonderful kids is facing jail time, because of someone finding her of wrongdoing. Calling the police takes 5 minutes, telling mother that she was wrong by leaving kid in car takes 5 minutes.
Consequences - my sis life could be ruined and her kids could be taken away - put in foster care, grow up addicts or worse.

Leaving children in the car is wrong, however, whoever sees is should use common sense.

Just because a family is well off and appears to be doing everything right in raising their children does not make them immune to making mistakes. If I encountered a child alone in a car who was in a potentially dangerous situation (extreme heat/cold, child distressed, etc) I would not even think twice about calling the police if I felt the situation warranted immediate attention. Heck I called the police when I came upon a tiny, obviously distressed dog who was left unattended on a very warm day this past summer, why would I do differently for a tiny human. Otherwise, I might stay within site of the car and keep an eye on the tiny occupant(s) until the adult came out of the store.
Also, foster care is not a guarantee that the children will turn into heroin addicted hoodlums. I know multiple foster parents and none are neglectful parents to any of their children, even the temporary ones.
Bottom line? Being well off doesn't make one immune from making poor parenting choices on occasion.
post #399 of 407

I think you focused too much on the position of the family in the community rather on the raised concern. The point was that the mother puts children in front of anything, and, yes, made a mistake that could cost everything she was living for.

But, hey, maybe there are people who do not make mistakes. 

Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

post #400 of 407
Quote:
Originally Posted by TCMoulton View Post

Just because a family is well off and appears to be doing everything right in raising their children does not make them immune to making mistakes. If I encountered a child alone in a car who was in a potentially dangerous situation (extreme heat/cold, child distressed, etc) I would not even think twice about calling the police if I felt the situation warranted immediate attention. Heck I called the police when I came upon a tiny, obviously distressed dog who was left unattended on a very warm day this past summer, why would I do differently for a tiny human. Otherwise, I might stay within site of the car and keep an eye on the tiny occupant(s) until the adult came out of the store.
Also, foster care is not a guarantee that the children will turn into heroin addicted hoodlums. I know multiple foster parents and none are neglectful parents to any of their children, even the temporary ones.
Bottom line? Being well off doesn't make one immune from making poor parenting choices on occasion.

This is a six-year-old thread, LOL. But, as a foster parent, I agree that there are many wonderful foster families out there.
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