Leaving sleeping children in the car for under 3 minutes - Page 3

[applejuice]

I see nothing wrong with what your au pair did.

I have seen people stand outside a car with a dog in it just to yell at the owner when they come out. I got in trouble for running in to the bank with the same situation...no line, I could see the kids, cool day, windows cracked...still some busy body waited for me.

However, your au pair came to this country to work and she should know the laws as they apply to the care of children.

[pigpokey]

Originally Posted by dubfam

Lets start a thread about the dangers of going pee and leaving your children unattended in your house for 3 minutes, where you can't see them. I am sure there are many more things that could happen in that scenario, and I am sure that most of us do that at least occasionally.

Yes. My children are much more in-danger playing in my fairly childproofed house than being strapped in the car for 5 minutes alone.

BTW my kids are in bed alone. What if a car hits the house.

[LilyGrace]

Originally Posted by dubfam

My DS Is the same age as the OP's oldest and he cannot undo his car seat harness yet.
Also, the vehicle was in sight, so she could have returned if one of the children opened a door.

Lets start a thread about the dangers of going pee and leaving your children unattended in your house for 3 minutes, where you can't see them. I am sure there are many more things that could happen in that scenario, and I am sure that most of us do that at least occasionally.

Car does not equal danger!

My youngest could at 4yo - and yes, it was properly fitted.

We've had two children in the past few years being taken - 1 while the grandmother ran in to pay for gas. She saw the car. She saw the man take her grandchild. And she couldn't get there fast enough.

In my house, there are not moving vehicles, there are not strangers, and the kids are within my hearing range in any room.

Car does not equal danger. Neglect equals danger. Leaving two children unattended, out of hearing range, out of attention range, in a car where they can easily get out, remove the parking brake, be taken........that is neglectful. There is a reason why a quarter of the country has laws to protect kids in that situation, and why another quarter have laws pending.

[dubfam]

Originally Posted by LilyGrace

My youngest could at 4yo - and yes, it was properly fitted.

We've had two children in the past few years being taken - 1 while the grandmother ran in to pay for gas. She saw the car. She saw the man take her grandchild. And she couldn't get there fast enough.

In my house, there are not moving vehicles, there are not strangers, and the kids are within my hearing range in any room.

Car does not equal danger. Neglect equals danger. Leaving two children unattended, out of hearing range, out of attention range, in a car where they can easily get out, remove the parking brake, be taken........that is neglectful. There is a reason why a quarter of the country has laws to protect kids in that situation, and why another quarter have laws pending.

But how do you know they could get out? My son wouldn't be able to.

The child who was taken from the gas station...was it a LOCKED car?

In your house there are no moving vehicles, But any kid who can get out of the car seat and car could surely get out of the house and into the road. A stranger could break in, just the same as they can break in to your car. And there are many other things like a stove, I am sure there are heavy things to be toppled, they could open a window and fall out....and all of those things are probably fairly unlikely to happen but COULD happen.

[aprildawn]

Originally Posted by LilyGrace

In my house, there are not moving vehicles, there are not strangers, and the kids are within my hearing range in any room.

I wouldn't be so sure about that. You want to talk about the unthinkable?
http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/loc...,7213938.story

OP - I agree with everyone who has said there's a tendency to overreact in these situations. I probably wouldn't have done it because of a fear (irrational?) something might happen. But I know my mom would have, and did, when I was a kid. She didn't leave us in a hot car in the summer while she shopped for a week's worth of groceries, but she would leave us while she paid for gas. Something is very wrong in our generation with this culture of fear pervading everything.

[LilyGrace]

Originally Posted by dubfam

But how do you know they could get out? My son wouldn't be able to.

The child who was taken from the gas station...was it a LOCKED car?

In your house there are no moving vehicles, But any kid who can get out of the car seat and car could surely get out of the house and into the road. A stranger could break in, just the same as they can break in to your car. And there are many other things like a stove, I am sure there are heavy things to be toppled, they could open a window and fall out....and all of those things are probably fairly unlikely to happen but COULD happen.

The more you neglect a child, the more you let things happen.

I am surprised that here on MDC, there are so many people who are perfectly fine with leaving children unattended in a vehicle. I really thought this board would be more about meeting our children's needs than mainstream boards. Attention is a need. I don't see how that is so overlooked in favor of parental convenience.

[dubfam]

Originally Posted by LilyGrace

The more you neglect a child, the more you let things happen.

I am surprised that here on MDC, there are so many people who are perfectly fine with leaving children unattended in a vehicle. I really thought this board would be more about meeting our children's needs than mainstream boards. Attention is a need. I don't see how that is so overlooked in favor of parental convenience.

because waking them up and dragging them into the store for 3 minutes is what they need.

[hipmummy]

Excuse me but it is good thing I called the police one of the persons because it was an ex Dh who was not even supposed to have his children and the Mother had no idea he was with them. The second one forgot the time and realized she had been in the store for over 20 minutes. This is in an urban area, not a small town.
Also my dh after ds's birth two days no sleep rear ended a car with a seven year old in and mom had been gone for over 10 minutes but had said she be back in 2!! Dh waited but the police came because someone else called about the fender bender.

[hipmummy]

Originally Posted by pigpokey

because they would run out of air? food? All the serious problems in the world and you are calling the police why?



Maybe we should pass a law that you cannot transport kids in automobiles period, because there might be a traffic accident.

Oh and another thing, I was left asleep in a car when I was five and when I awoke I put the car into reverse right into our neighbors fence. My mother was only gone two minutes to get her purse. You never know.......

[Delta]

I am surprised that here on MDC, there are so many people who are perfectly fine with leaving children unattended in a vehicle. I really thought this board would be more about meeting our children's needs than mainstream boards. Attention is a need. I don't see how that is so overlooked in favor of parental convenience.

LOL. So much wrong with this statement.

[dubfam]

Originally Posted by hipmummy

Excuse me but it is good thing I called the police one of the persons because it was an ex Dh who was not even supposed to have his children and the Mother had no idea he was with them. The second one forgot the time and realized she had been in the store for over 20 minutes. This is in an urban area, not a small town.
Also my dh after ds's birth two days no sleep rear ended a car with a seven year old in and mom had been gone for over 10 minutes but had said she be back in 2!! Dh waited but the police came because someone else called about the fender bender.

Yes, but this was at 7-11

Who spends more than a couple minutes in 7-11?

I could understand if it were a grocery store or the mall. I would be likely to call the police in that situation...but at 7-11?

Do you really not see the difference?

[Novella]

Originally Posted by LilyGrace

There is a reason why a quarter of the country has laws to protect kids in that situation, and why another quarter have laws pending.

Agreed. But I don't think I'm thinking of the same reasons that you are!

I'm on board with the comments of others who think the au pair's actions were entirely reasonable. Life is dangerous, houses are dangerous, people die or are injured in all sorts of freaky ways. I think you have to be aware, reasonable, and moderate in your choices. It's easy to get caught up in all the fear mania that goes on.

Since no one else has mentioned it, I think part of the tendency for reactions like the screaming woman are what I think of as "The Lazy Samaritan":

I imagine many of us have day-dreamed about how we would react in an emergency situation: a car accident, a crime-in-progress, a fire, a health emergency, whatever. There is a small part of lots of us, I speculate, that wonders how we would behave in that situation: if we could help someone, how our efforts might be recognized.

There's a lot of people who would leap at the chance to "save" a kid or a dog in a car, but who would avert their eyes and keep on driving past a mugging/assault/tire-slashing. It's so easy to be a hero when there's no exertion required on your part and not likely any danger to you for intervening. This isn't entirely idle imaginings on my part. I've heard lots over the years of people recounting how they were too scared to do anything about a bad situation, and conversely (sometimes the same people!) how they interferred in a much more innocuous event.

[dubfam]

Originally Posted by hipmummy

Oh and another thing, I was left asleep in a car when I was five and when I awoke I put the car into reverse right into our neighbors fence. My mother was only gone two minutes to get her purse. You never know.......

And you lived to tell the story.

It sounds like you would advocate for someone calling the police on your mother in that situation?

[punkrawkmama27]

Originally Posted by lerlerler

I, honestly, would have just driven off without the juice. I am not comfortable leaving my kids in the car for the 30 seconds it takes to carry one of them up the stairs (we live on the second floor) from the car if they are both sleeping. I've been known to ask a neighbor who is mowing the lawn to watch the car for me

That being said, if I saw two kids sleeping in a car, I'd watch the car until the guardian came back and mention to the grown-up that I am personally not comfortable leaving kids alone in a car, so I watched out for them....

This would probably creep out the guardian quite a bit and they may never leave the kids alone again which would be fine with me.

No need to scream

Totally agree! At the preschool dd went to last year, moms would leave their little ones in the car so they didnt have to take them in to the school and waste time. If I saw someone leave a little one in the car, I would sit there and watch the car till mama came back, but I never said anything. On the other hand, even the coldest days and even though it was only right there, I still bundled up the two youngest. But I am a very paranoid mama, and think anything could happen.

I do agree that lady should have been more tactful, and not have yelled and made a scene. That is uncalled for.

[carmel23]

Originally Posted by savithny

Yep. You're more likely to get killed by a car walking across a parking lot carrying a chiihld than your child is likely to be taken out of a locked car. And if someone wanted to steal a child, what's easier? Knocking you down and taking the child vs. having to break into a locked car?

I agree that there are times/places situations where its not appropriate, but to turn it into a blanket "you can't walk more than 10 feet from your car with kids in it" is hysteria in the other direction. I once had someone tell me that she wouldn't walk four parking spots down to a cart corral in the supermarket parking lot because that was "leaving your kids in the car." I just have to disagree and leave it there.

the cart corral isn't inside a store.

the law is the law for a reason. There are carjackings even in those nice neighborhoods.

I think it is a good idea to follow the law of your state if you provide child care. I wouldn't break the law while watching someone's kids. No matter how logical it seems at the time. Parks have drinking fountains.

[dubfam]

Originally Posted by carmel23

the cart corral isn't inside a store.

the law is the law for a reason. There are carjackings even in those nice neighborhoods.

I think it is a good idea to follow the law of your state if you provide child care. I wouldn't break the law while watching someone's kids. No matter how logical it seems at the time. Parks have drinking fountains.

How many states have laws about this?

[hipmummy]

I would never call the police on someone in front of their home. The point I am trying to make is you never know what can happen.
And in Mass it is illegal. and frankly where the 7-11 in our area are located, most adults are afraid to go in alone and or stay in the car alone. So it may be a very different place where you live. There are stabbing near the 7-11 are most armed robberies take place there where we live. And all of this happens in broad day light.

[mirthfulmum]

Wow! I had no idea that a 3 minute 7-11 run could be so controversial.

I love my children to the ends of the universe and back. There is not a single thing in this world I wouldn't do for them to keep them healthy and safe. I am a dedicated AP mama and wear the label with pride. And I have left my almost 3 yo and 5 yo in the locked car approx 10 feet away as I ran to the bank machine. Judge away, but it does not make me any less of a mother and it in no way measures on any scale of neglect.

Thank you dubfam and pigpokey for keeping it sane.

[candiland]

There have been several children in our town alone who have been hit by cars as pedestrians.

Therefore, my kids aren't allowed to leave the house.

There is a far greater chance of them being hit by a car than by being carried out of my cool, locked van that is in plain view of me.

Actually, now that I think about it, I believe I will invest in a plastic bubble, as well. One that is kidnap-proof, fire-proof, dent-proof, germ-proof, and all-around the safest possible place my children can be. That way, nothing can go wrong. And that way, while my kids live totally overprotected because of my heightened sense of fear and endangerment, I will never be subject to any questioning in regards to my ability to protect my children and keep them safe.

[candiland]

And I, too, am shocked at what I am reading here on Mothering.

Mothering, to me, is the antithesis of self-righteous indignation. Yes, there are lots of very obvious black and white circumstances when it comes to parenting.... but when it comes to each individual family's choices and comfort levels in these grayer areas, Mothering is all about "to each their own, respect those choices." And I would hope that is something we here at Mothering are modeling for our own children, as well.