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Leaving sleeping children in the car for under 3 minutes - Page 5

post #81 of 407
I have three children and I would NEVER leave them in a car while I run in anywhere for any amount of time. It's unacceptable and dangerous. I have gotten gas before and not been able to pay at the pump. I take all of my children into the gas station with me to pay, no matter if they are sleeping or whatever. I call the police immediately when I see a child in a car unattended and I've told a sitter or mom off before for leaving children in the car. It's irresponsible. I don't understand the mentality behind it and I think that you should tell your sitter to not take shortcuts with your children. If I can bring all three of my wild children into the gas station to pay, so can anyone else. It's inconvenient, yes, but so what.

I agree that she should have been told how unacceptabe it is to leave children in the car, even if you can see them from the window.
Lisa (mom to 3 wonderful children)
post #82 of 407
:

In absolute agreement.
post #83 of 407
wow!
This fear and paranoia thing is pretty over the top. That scares me more than anything! It takes the place of rationality in a lot of cases I think.
post #84 of 407
I am sorry your au pair was yelled at. If the woman was concerned about your children, she certainly could have picked a gentler way to express it.

I have left my two awake 2-year olds in the car when I run into the dry cleaners to drop off my husband's shirts, or pick them up. I feel it's safer than bringing them with me. For one, I have at least one of my hands occupied with the shirts and therefore cannot hold two hands. My kids are runners and are far more likely to break away from me and dash into the parking lot, where cars move fairly quickly, than the car is to get broken in to/hit by a car/burst into flames. I sit in the car and wait until no one is at the counter so the errand will take probably less than 2 minutes, but I've never timed it. I don't do it if it's hot outside, I lock the car and I am about 10 steps away from them the whole time. We live in a very safe area. (My from line says San Francisco, but we've since moved to the 'burbs.)

I agree with PPs who are talking about moderation and using good judgment. I try not to let fear rule my life and think through the potential consequences of my actions and decide whether I can live with them.
post #85 of 407
Quote:
Originally Posted by Delta View Post
LOL. So much wrong with this statement.
I disagree. There's so much wrong here, but assuming that parents who pride themselves on doing what's best for our children would leave their children in a car for what?....a coke? that's crazy. So much wrong with ThAT. What's so important that you just can't get it later when the children are asleep. I've had to cancel my plans many times because it was not feasible to bring them into the store with me. What's so important in a convenience store? Coke? Fried burritos?(ok, I love fried burritos, but still!)

Lisa
post #86 of 407
Quote:
Originally Posted by lisa49 View Post
What's so important in a convenience store? Coke? Fried burritos?(ok, I love fried burritos, but still!)

Lisa
beer, smokes, lottery tickets, and a quick shag if the cashier strikes my fancy.
kidding. Usually it's gas. The thing is, I don't see how it's a gamble any more than leaving the house is a gamble. I still love my kids. I promise.
post #87 of 407
I've totally shagged in a convenience store once....but that's for another thread I suppose.
post #88 of 407
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamajama View Post
beer, smokes, lottery tickets, and a quick shag if the cashier strikes my fancy.
kidding. Usually it's gas. The thing is, I don't see how it's a gamble any more than leaving the house is a gamble. I still love my kids. I promise.
Ok, back to being serious....I promise. It's not about loving your children. It's about the pompousness of thinking that bad things only happen to other people. Once you've had something really bad happen to YOU, you don't get that luxury anymore. Yeah, leaving the house is dangerous and staying home is dangerous. But with that mentality, why even try? Why even bother to lock your doors at night? I've had people tell me "if someone really wants your kids, there's nothing you can do to stop them" to which I respond "well, maybe, but that doesn't mean that I have to make it easy for them." So, I could get into a wreck on the way to the store. That's an accident, but to me, leaving your children in a car is no accident. You just can't think that bad things won't happen to you. You don't have to live in fear, but don't live in denial either.
Lisa
post #89 of 407
: : : : : : : : :
post #90 of 407
Quote:
Originally Posted by lisa49 View Post
Ok, back to being serious....I promise. It's not about loving your children. It's about the pompousness of thinking that bad things only happen to other people. Once you've had something really bad happen to YOU, you don't get that luxury anymore. Yeah, leaving the house is dangerous and staying home is dangerous. But with that mentality, why even try? Why even bother to lock your doors at night? I've had people tell me "if someone really wants your kids, there's nothing you can do to stop them" to which I respond "well, maybe, but that doesn't mean that I have to make it easy for them." So, I could get into a wreck on the way to the store. That's an accident, but to me, leaving your children in a car is no accident. You just can't think that bad things won't happen to you. You don't have to live in fear, but don't live in denial either.
Lisa
I've experienced bad things. I understand they happen to me and mine and to others and to everyone at one point or another in life. I refuse to lve in fear. I give you the point about locking the doors. touchè. But I know that when I go into the store and my kids are in the locked car a few feet away from me within my view they are essentially as safe as houses. In fact, in my city there has never once been a car-jacking. Not once. But there have been plenty of armed robberies inside stores. So if I were to make mathamatical equations in my head based on the odds of Bad Scary Awful Things happening to myself or my kids (which is a method by which I vehemently refuse to live my life) every time I need to make a decision throughout my day, I would still be better off leaving the kids in the car and, in fact, should be scolded for taking them into the store with me!
This is all rather circular
post #91 of 407
Quote:
Originally Posted by carmel23 View Post
I think it is against the law here in California to leave children in a car and enter a store. It doesn't matter how long it takes you to go into the store and back to the car--it doesn't matter what the weather, etc. If I had seen the kids in the car, you would have a broken window--I wouldn't have hesitated to break the window and get the kids out.

I am sorry that your au pair was so frightened, but you should take this as an eye opener, and make sure she is familiar with all the laws and cultural customs of the US in relation to children.

I have had personal experience on this issue, and can say that not all police officers share the same paranoia about this issue as many members of the public. So the blanket 'it's against the law' argument is not necessarily a good one. I think you'd find that most police officers would take it on a case by case basis, and would not all share your conviction that this is a terrible crime.
post #92 of 407
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamajama View Post
The thing is, I don't see how it's a gamble any more than leaving the house is a gamble. I still love my kids. I promise.
This is my thought, too. In the world of risk assessment, heck even in the world of "what if?", I feel there are just as many horrible, unthinkable things that may happen while crossing a parking lot or driving on the freeway to grandma's house or playing in the backyard as there are leaving kids for brief moments in a locked car.
With my toddler, especially, I feel much more vulnerable taking him across a parking lot or into 7-11 than I do with him safely locked in the car. He bolts, he's too heavy to carry most times if I have anything else in my hands and he has a 3yo's sense of danger (read: practicaly none at all). I do take him into grocery stores or places where we'll be for extended lengths of time, of course, but if I'm going to be out of the car for a few moments, I usually leave him in his seat, buckled in, behind a couple tons of metal with child locks and the alarm on.
Screw the plastic bubble, we bought a 4-star safety rated sedan that's almost impossible to steal and came equipped with air-bags and an alarm, Heck, it's probably safer than our house, with the windows that are "locked" using 15cent wooden dowels from Home Depot and protected by a skittish yellow lab.
post #93 of 407
Quote:
Originally Posted by woobysma View Post
Heck, it's probably safer than our house, with the windows that are "locked" using 15cent wooden dowels from Home Depot and protected by a skittish yellow lab.
post #94 of 407
Quote:
Originally Posted by woobysma View Post
With my toddler, especially, I feel much more vulnerable taking him across a parking lot or into 7-11 than I do with him safely locked in the car. He bolts, he's too heavy to carry most times if I have anything else in my hands and he has a 3yo's sense of danger (read: practicaly none at all). I do take him into grocery stores or places where we'll be for extended lengths of time, of course, but if I'm going to be out of the car for a few moments, I usually leave him in his seat, buckled in, behind a couple tons of metal with child locks and the alarm on.
Screw the plastic bubble, we bought a 4-star safety rated sedan that's almost impossible to steal and came equipped with air-bags and an alarm, Heck, it's probably safer than our house, with the windows that are "locked" using 15cent wooden dowels from Home Depot and protected by a skittish yellow lab.

Well said.
post #95 of 407
...and what happens when those armed robbers leave the store and need a getaway car? hmmm?

I remember a woman crying on the news once because her son was in the car outside of a gas station when someone decided to steal her car. She ran out and grabbed her son, but only enough to get him halfway out of the car. He was dragged down the street and killed as she watched. It does happen and her storyl freaked me out still does. Math or no math. I don't think it's safe. And what happens when your children wake up alone in the car? What do you tell them? "Don't open the door for anyone but me." And they sit there thinking that at any minute, someone might try to take them while they wait for you. Plus, you could have someone call the police on you and curse you about it. That in itself is inconvenient enough to just wake the kids and take them with you in order to avoid the crazies who choose to live in fear . Even if the cashier is hot and you need a shag....or a fried burrito.

Plus, even if I decide to take some kind of "risk" with children, I would be mad if a sitter took that same risk. I can't justify that, but that's just the way that I would feel.
Lisa
post #96 of 407
Quote:
Originally Posted by lisa49 View Post
...and what happens when those armed robbers leave the store and need a getaway car? hmmm?
I do not run my life in fear of armed robbers. But if they walked to the store in order to rob it with the half-baked notion to drive off with a rusty old volvo station wagon full of dents with a tire that's always slightly flat, then I think they're probably at the callabre that I can, like, trip them on the way out of the store or something. Or maybe roundhouse kick them in the heads. There's about as much chance of me roundhouse kicking an armed robber at my local 7-11 to prevent him from using my volvo full of sleeping kids for a getaway car as there is for a piece of airplane fuselage to fall on my house right now. So I'm not going to wo-----------...
post #97 of 407
Quote:
Originally Posted by lisa49 View Post
...and what happens when those armed robbers leave the store and need a getaway car? hmmm?

I remember a woman crying on the news once because her son was in the car outside of a gas station when someone decided to steal her car.
Almost ALL of these stories happen when someone leaves the car running. Leaving a child in a running, unlocked car is WAY crazy, imo. It can literally take moments for someone to jump in your car and take off, in that situation. It's totally different than leaving a child in a locked car. The simple act of taking your keys out and putting them in your pocket drops the risk of this down to almost nothing. Your child is probably safer in a locked car than he/she would be if you were in the car with them. Carjackings are almost impossible if the keys are 15 feet away and the car is locked.

(by the way, I just realized we live in the same neighborhood, I'm on the Eastside)

There was a story in Bothell a few years ago where a woman had left her infant sleeping in her SUV. The car was running because she wanted to keep the AC on. Someone stole her car while she was in picking up a pizza (or something like that). The police think the thief must not have realized there was a child in the car. They found the car a couple blocks away with the baby safely inside - the guy must have realized there was a child involved and ditched the car pronto. I'm sure plenty of people heard that story and thought "well, there you go, don't ever leave your kid in the car". My thought was "take the freaking keys with you and lock the doors when you go into Dominoes, people!"
post #98 of 407
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamajama View Post
I do not run my life in fear of armed robbers. But if they walked to the store in order to rob it with the half-baked notion to drive off with a rusty old volvo station wagon full of dents with a tire that's always slightly flat, then I think they're probably at the callabre that I can, like, trip them on the way out of the store or something. Or maybe roundhouse kick them in the heads. There's about as much chance of me roundhouse kicking an armed robber at my local 7-11 to prevent him from using my volvo full of sleeping kids for a getaway car as there is for a piece of airplane fuselage to fall on my house right now. So I'm not going to wo-----------...
HOL-ee crap, I just about spit water all over my screen True story - my DF came home the other day and told me that, while parked at a red light with his uncle, a 3 inch bolt DROPPED OUT OF THE SKY and hit the top of the Jeep! We still don't know exactly what happened, but I'm wearing my bike helmet everywhere lately.
post #99 of 407
Quote:
Originally Posted by woobysma View Post
I'm wearing my bike helmet everywhere lately.
That's a great idea. I'm totally going to copy you.
post #100 of 407
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamajama View Post
That's a great idea. I'm totally going to copy you.
I'm telling you, it could save your life. It's late, I think the kids and I are going to get our helmets on and go sleep in the car.
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