Keeping 3 year old from unbuckling car seat

[bartleby]

My almost three-year-old figured out how to undo her car seat buckles--both the top one and the bottom on a Britax Roundabout--a while back. The occasional times she's completely undone the buckles and gotten out of her seat, I've pulled over as quickly as possible and firmly told her she has to get back in her seat. We've talked about safety numerous times. I always, always wear my seatbelt.

Well, this afternoon one of my worst fears nearly materialized. We were on the freeway and she decided to undo her buckles. We were rear ended. She was not wearing her seat belt. Fortunately, it was a minor accident and we are all okay. The car has a very small scratch. But I was hysterical with fear and anger. I'm sure I scared my daughter by my emotions in the aftermath, but it was impossible to hold in how scared I was at what could have happened.

Please, does anyone have some advice? I have no idea what to do. I don't know if this incident will have any effect on her car seat behavior from now on. She seems flummoxed by how scared I was, considering that we are okay. I have told my husband that I do not want to drive in the car with her alone until we get this figured out. I cannot have something like that happen again. I have never been so scared in all my life.

Help!

[Lingmom]

I totally understand. Keeping discipline in a car with a mischievous 3 yr old can make you feel absolutely helpless. I think that's why they like misbehaving -- they know you can't keep control and plus they get a big reaction from mom.

Maybe until she forgets , you can use something like this:

http://www.mypreciouskid.com/seat-be...gel-guard.html

[bartleby]

Hmm. From the looks of it, that works to keep her from unbuckling the seat belt holding her car seat in place, but not the actual car seat straps? I can't tell.

[PreggieUBA2C]

It does look like it's just for car belts, not the carseat straps. We have had the problem with the car belts, though. The site says that once your child can defeat the guard, stop using it immediately... so pretty much 5 minutes after they discover it's in their way...

Physical deterrents won't work for our children, but since I can hear the click of the latches, I pull over immediately. It took a few weeks of being consistent with pulling over, re-buckling and going straight home (regardless of our plans, and not to punish, but as a choice to consider safety more important than our task- that's how I explained it) before our dc decided they like going out more than they like playing with their seatbelts.

This wouldn't work for a lot of people though, I know. I imagine most mamas have places they must go (I don't), and most children don't think of a ride as a relatively rare and exciting event like ours do since we drive so seldomly, so the motivation to meet safety needs might not be there- especially if the child is tired of being in the car or didn't want to go in since it's a regular occurrence.

I completely understand your thoughts about not driving alone, especially if you have to drive on freeways. I think I would do that if I were in your situation and not able to resolve it otherwise

[bartleby]

I would be fully on board with turning around and stopping an outing if my daughter got out of her seat, except for one thing: She only does it when we're returning home from somewhere, never going to somewhere. She's clever that way, I guess. She also tends to do it when she's tired. Not sure what to do about that, as sometimes we just are out and about when she starts getting a little tired. I make being home in the afternoons a priority (for rest or nap), so it's not like I'm driving her all over town when she's exhausted.

I guess I will hope this is a phase that ends (it has to be). In the meantime, though, it's hard to think of a consequence. And, yes, I'll be keeping off the freeways for a while. I would rather just not go places or take the bus (which we do sometimes anyway) than deal with a repeat of today's incident.