The commonality for me is that the parents have taken GD to mean a prohibition on consequences, being assertive, or enforcing limits with the children. There is a terrible imbalance currently among a segment of my particular IRL social circle, and the children are horrid to be around. They are not bad children, of course. But their behaviour is currently just awful. It makes things unpleasant for the parents and greatly limits what the parents can do with their children, or how enjoyable a time they can have.
I personally am not willing to be limited in such a way by my child's behaviour. More assertive parenting, with love AND limits, is working very, very well for us, and I am glad of it.
I agree with you. I am very assertive when it comes to boundaries and respect. I refuse to be walked over by anyone- including my kids.
That said, I still feel....off about the way this was handled. I need to know that at that moment, we are doing everything possible to make it right again - the responsibility on me to teach and reinforce proper behaviour through whatever means necessary, from "You may NOT hit me!" and stepping away from the child after buckling her for a breather, to low talking, empathising with the child, focusing on other activities. And understanding that yes, this is a phase, and we will get through it. It is neither socially acceptable nor personally acceptable behaviour, but it is a learning process and using that information to control my patience.
Imposing a consequence a week later sounds just as ineffective as the singsongy no-no's. A 4yo still needs the immediate consequence and the parents can focus on the long term preventive measures like - putting a goodbye plan into place, taking a short rest period between school and the playdate, role playing..or even rethinking certain activities and making a lifestyle change.