Non-Negotiable "House Rules" for a 3 Y.O.

[hrcmom]

DS is almost 3 1/2. DH and I have really tried "Gentle Discipline", but have been struggling lately. DS is really (REALLY!) testing us. He has a new baby sister and has had a few other big transitions in his life lately. Plus, he's 3 1/2 (enough said ). So, in order for DH and I to be more consistent, we are coming up with a set of "house rules" for DS, but even more so, for ourselves . . . just as reminders to help us guide DS. So far, these are the house rules:

We use our body for kind touches (No hitting)
We speak gently to one another (No yelling or demanding)
We are gentle to baby sister (no squeezing too tight)
We eat healthy meals before we eat treats
We are gentle to our toys and other things (no throwing things, tearing books, etc).

That's about it so far. Everything else is negotiable. We want to create a positive environment where DS can make choices, and have control in his life. We don't want to use time-outs or other punitive consequences. We're also going to work harder at "sharing" (which is a big issue for DS), and establish more firm morning, mealtime and bedtime routines.

What additional house rules to you have? Any other ideas?? All suggestions welcomed (PLEASE!!)

[Hesperia]

House rules can be a good idea, although you really need to look into them long term, as well as for your current situation.

The rules you have seem fair, and basic, although I have a problem with one of them....

Rule one is "We use our body for kind touches (No hitting)" Which also means, no pinching, biting etc. I have no problem with this.

The rule three is "We are gentle to baby sister (no squeezing too tight)" which is him using his body....which should be under rule one.

The third rule will date quickly, and I don't think it is fair to pinpoint only one member of the house in the family rules (even if you are ).


So if you feel you must impose some rules in the house, stick to ones that are
important for the safety and well being of everyone. I personally wouldn't add anything about food, because this is could add negative feelings towards food. I often want a cookie with my tea in the morning, and would want children to feel the same freedom and joy, as long as they are eating well, YKWIM?

[MomAndOliver]

I think I would add one more (though, like the pp said, you could consolidate 1 and 3): "We keep ourselves safe around things that can be dangerous," meaning no poking forks in the electrical outlets, etc. I was just thinking of this because probably the most non-negotiable rule in our house is "we do not play on the stairs." We have a spiral staircase with open sides (and we rent, so we can't really do anything about it), so we don't dance on the stairs, lean way out between the bars, try to come down backwards, or any of the other exciting variations ds has tried to come up with.