Geez how did we get like this and how can it get better? - Page 5

[BetsyS]

quadruple post

[LilMamiBella]

Update:

I called king's gym about canceling. They said I had to be physically unable to exercise or live 50 miles away. They said they normally don't allow buy outs but he said he'd talk to the owner and call me back.

I still owe $3800 on the timeshare. I cannot cancel but I can foreclose or sell it.

Canceled dish network

Dh was spending $100 a week on lunch. Now he's taking lunch to work.

We agreed to spend $100-$150 towards our entertainment a month.:2bfbabe:

[Emmeline II]

Originally Posted by LilMamiBella

Well, Dh would watch soccer all day everyday iof you let him. I wanted to watch Lost, desperate housewives,etc.

Many shows can be watched on the internet for free after they air.

[phathui5]

Originally Posted by LilMamiBella

Well, Dh would watch soccer all day everyday iof you let him. I wanted to watch Lost, desperate housewives,etc.

I wait until they come out on DVD and then rent them from Blockbuster online.

[ananas]

It looks like you've already got plenty of responses, but here's a few things I thought of:
Groceries: Can you use coupons or buy things on special? It might not save a lot but it would be helpful.

You use two gyms- why? Could you just one instead? Also, would it be possible to cancel the gym memberships altogether, and cancel either karate or dance, and have the family get exercise by taking walks, going to the park, going bowling?

Could you cut down your Dish subscription to only the channels you use? You might be paying for a whole package (such as the movies package) that you don't ever even watch.

[sarasprings]

Originally Posted by LilMamiBella

Update:

I called king's gym about canceling. They said I had to be physically unable to exercise or live 50 miles away. They said they normally don't allow buy outs but he said he'd talk to the owner and call me back.

I still owe $3800 on the timeshare. I cannot cancel but I can foreclose or sell it.

Canceled dish network

Dh was spending $100 a week on lunch. Now he's taking lunch to work.

We agreed to spend $100-$150 towards our entertainment a month.:2bfbabe:

I started posting the other day, but the two little boys wanted my attention, so at this point, I just have to say it's awesome that you've taken care of some things so far!

[its_our_family]

Originally Posted by Meg Murry.

How about reading? The library is free.

Yeah, that would convince me of nothing. I hate to read.

I don't get the 2 TV providers though. Well, I do, but....gt rid of one... and I would say dh gives up his.

Dance and karate-- let the kids decide.

I like the idea of a YMCA or something the whole family can do besides just the gym.

It also sounds like she does spend time with family. Just because you have cable or watch tv doen't mean you don't.

[its_our_family]

Originally Posted by LilMamiBella

Dh was spending $100 a week on lunch. Now he's taking lunch to work.

It is amazing to me how fast eating lunch out adds up! It is amazing the amount of money you save when you stop!

[mamaofprincesses]

Just wanted to add. . .if your DH is a business owner, you may be able to deduct the cost of health insurance premiums from your taxes. My dad is self-employed and he can do this for his private insurance. It depends on how your business is set up tax-wise. It's worth looking into at least.

Also check into a medical savings account or health savings account for more benefits. You have to have a high-deductible policy for a HSA, but that would still be much more protection than you currently have.

Finally, if either of you have attended college you may be eligible for a group rate from your student alumni association, even if you didn't graduate. I can get group health insurance coverage from my alumni organization. It's not really cheap but a group rate almost always beats a private one.

Get health insurance! If you were diagnosed with a chronic condition tomorrow you'd be much harder to insure.

[emdeecee_sierra]

Originally Posted by wifeandmom

Point is, it's always wise to know what is coming in and where it is going. Sometimes it is shocking when you realize what you are spending on certain things, and making changes is always easier when you're working with the full picture.

No truer words were ever written; it is AMAZING how things look on paper!!! Too often amazingly FRIGHTENING. OP, to answer your original question, you got like this because you overspend. You need a budget. I read the thread and don't recall seeing the suggestion that you sell the purty new truck and get something used- ideally that you will pay cash for. Yeah, I see LOTS you can do now, before you are in a catastrophe- good for you for realizing you are on the edge of disaster BEFORE it happens! Seems you have time and resources to get yourself into an enviable, safe, secure position financially. Good luck, and have fun! It is such a great feeling knowing you are taking steps toward security! Make a game of it, involve the whole family, have charts on the wall tracking your progress- you can do it!!!

[mrskennedy]

This is just *me*, mind... But I'd stop sponsoring the kids, or only sponsor one, until I felt comfortable with my financial situation.
But before I got rid of the kids, I'd get rid of:
dance or karate
Blockbuster online, Dish, or Charter. Actually I'd get rid of at least 2 of those, and maybe all 3. Having 2 TV cos. + Blockbuster is a LOT o' TV.
Cingular. get a track phone or something cheaper
gym memberships
Timeshare (You need this why?)
Tivo

I'd also trim the gas, lights, trash, and groceries as much as I could.

BTW, DH and others can watch soccer/TV online without Blockbuster or other subscriptions.
I'd also put more on credit cards--as in make more than the minimum payment--to cut down on interest costs. Same with the truck and mortgage, if you can cut those interest costs at all.

[supercrunch]

let me take a second to chime in with another "you need health insurance!!"

we live paycheck to paycheck, with no cushion (despite our best efforts)

Earlier this month...my dh had what we thought was a stomach virus. After one bad night of high fevers and chills, we ended up in the ER. It was his appendix (without any of the classic symptoms) and it had to come out immediately.
No big deal...right? Well, it has been a really tough road since then.

He will have to be off work for at least a month and have follow up care with numerous doctors. (I will have to be off work also, as I usually work in the evenings while my dh is home to care for the kids)

Things are going to be rough for us...but without health insurance to offset much of the cost, and disability insurance for his time off work (even though it won't even cover the cost of our rent alone) we would be done for.

Please,
if you do nothing else to help your budget...find a way to get insurance.

[mrskennedy]

Originally Posted by LilMamiBella

um well its $12,400
We go out to eat Fri, Sat, and Sun and Dh buys lunch and misc with it. I also shop. So I know we need to stop those things..i was just trying to think of more things to do because I hate owing anyone money. Once we have everything paid off we'll put those cards somewhere and pay cash only. We don't have any savings or health insurance! We always paid with cash but then in December I was offered a few credit cards. Since we had 6 mos interest free we thought we could pay them off easily but we kept using it up till it got really high.

So here, in your own words no less, you have concrete, valid, in-your-face reasons to get rid of the extra things you have!

And putting "those cards somewhere" is not the solution. The solution is to pay them off, cut them up, and not get any more.

[beachmouse]

(poking my head into the thread here)

There have been some excellent suggestions so far. And by sitting down and writing out your expenses, you were taking an important first step into having control over your finances. A couple things more:

1. Have whoever is the better negotiator in your family, whether it's you or DH, call up the credit card company and ask for an interest rate cut. Tell them you got a solicitation in the mail from some other company that has an interest rate that's 5% lower than what you've got now, and offer them a chance to match that before you transfer that balance to a new card. There's probably a 60-75% chance that they'll offer you a better deal than what you've got now.

2. Shop around for different homeowner's insurance. Back in the days before insurers started bailing in my state, it took essentially one phone call to arrange to switch from State Farm to Allstate and save $600/year. Check out your auto insurance costs as well. Sit down with your agent, and see if you've got an appropriate level of insurance but aren't overinsured.

3. I would keep the kids in some sort of dance and karate classes, though I'd see if there were cheaper options through the Y or a local rec department. Or see if the dance studio would give you a discount on classes if you helped out in the office or volunteered labor to sew costumes. There have been a couple of studies that have shown that kids who stay with those kinds of organized activities are less likely to get in trouble in their teenage years. Call it a good foundation or a reason and easy way to keep further away from bad influences later on.

4. If you're waiting until you have some money left over to cut the credit card bills/ save/get health insurance, then you're probably never going to get to that point. It's a lesson that took us a while to learn once we started to get our financial feet under us. Treat those kinds of things as another bill that's got to be paid. There's a book called something like The Automatic Millionare where the basic idea is to set up your bank accounts so you've got money going directly to the savings account/IRA before you even realize the money was ever in the general checking account.

5. I agree with always having $1,000 in an easily accessable emergency fund. I live in a hurricane-bait area, and there's nothing like not having to worry when an otherwise perfectly nice licensed and insurance tree removal guy is only willing to take cash for the $500 he's going to charge to get the tree off your garage roof.

6. Identify the fun stuff you're still getting to do as a family. Enjot when you do get to go out to eat as a family on Friday night. And when you stay in on Saturday to make your own pizza, that's going to be fun because Mommy makes cool little shapes out of the pepperoni and cheese.

[Petersmamma]

Nevah mind....shoulda read a little further!

[WNB]

1) Cut up the credit cards. Yesterday.

2) Call up the credit card companies. Do not tell them you cut up the cards. Tell them that since you are such good customers, you'd like your interest rate to be cut, and, further, since you're concerned about identity theft, to reduce your available credit to <number just barely above your current balance>.

3) Since you cut up the cards, you will be able to pay enough to ensure that your balance shrinks every month instead of grows.

4) Make really sure you stop using the credit cards. Really.

5) Seriously. Not Jokiing about the credit cards.

6) Decide whether or not the timeshare expense -- $3800 unpaid + annual fees ongoing -- is worth it, in terms of the enjoyment you and your family get out of using it. If you are not getting to use it, then sell it. Forget about the money you already paid for it - that is sunk cost. You have to evaluate it based on its value to your family vs the remaining cost.

7) Other monthly expenses: Yes, you can trim down - it seems like there is definitely some low-hanging fruit that you can get rid of in order to cover the cost of more worthy expenses (such as health insurance). You've looked into the gym memberships, you can adjust your habits to reduce the money spent at restaurants, you can cut back on pay-to-play activities for the kids. But the most important thing you can do is to STOP USING THE CREDIT CARDS.

[Petersmamma]

Originally Posted by grace474

let me take a second to chime in with another "you need health insurance!!"

we live paycheck to paycheck, with no cushion (despite our best efforts)

Earlier this month...my dh had what we thought was a stomach virus for a few days. After one bad night of high fevers and chills, we ended up in the ER. It was his appendix (without any of the classic symptoms) and it had to come out immediately.
No big deal...right? An easy in and out laproscopic surgery.
Well, they somehow managed to nick an artery during the surgery and we almost lost him. He required a second surgery to repair the artery, 12 units of blood, 4 days in the ICU (2 on a ventilator) and 7 days in a regular hospital room.

He will have to be off work for at least a month and have follow up care with numerous doctors. (I will have to be off work also, as I usually work in the evenings while my dh is home to care for the kids)
The bills are already in the hundreds of thousands, and half of them aren't even in yet.

Things are going to be helplessly rough for us...but without health insurance to offset much of the cost, and disability insurance for his time off work (even though it won't even cover the cost of our rent alone) we would be done for.

It's hard enough not knowing what we're going to do right now...I can't imagine wondering about the rest of our future, too. I know that because we have insurance to help us out...we will somehow find our way through to the other side.


Please,
if you do nothing else to help your budget...find a way to get insurance.

I just want to offer you a

Feel free to PM me to vent or bitch. I haven't been in your situation, but I can EASILY imagine being there and I know we are not immune to this.

[kerc]

I've been reading along and just wanted to chime in that it sounds like you're making progress. Hang in there. It is rough and tough before it gets better. But eventually it is worth it.

[DesertFlower]

I think you could probably let go of at least one of the gym memberships, the timeshare, and cable tv.
What is charter?

[charmander]

Originally Posted by jennnk

groceries - don't get prepackaged food. EVER. shop the perimeter, make a menu, get what's in season (use frozen veggies and fruit in the wintertime), bake your own bread and desserts, drink water from the tap if it's safe, don't get soda (goes with prepackaged food, IMO), only get juice as a treat and then the not from concentrate 100% juice kind, etc.

What does this mean? Do you grind your own flour, make pasta by hand, and grow your own rice? I buy these things pre-packaged.

And what about the juice you are talking about. Sounds like you are buying juice in a container- which would be pre-packaged, right?