RN mother extremely worked up about home birth - Page 4

[Jilian]

You might just have to be firm about it. Instead of saying you are thinking about a HB just let her know your mind is made up and it is not open for discussion. My mom was also against HB but I had one and it went well. My son was even born with a suprise heart defect and turned out just fine. I had seen 3 doctors who missed the symptoms of his defect, but you know who caught it?? MY HOMEBIRTH MIDWIFE. How many OBs do you know who are willing to come to your house to check out your baby just because you are feeling paranoid? My MW did and she met me at the ER and stayed with me for 12 hours until my son was transferred to another hospital for emergency surgery. You just don't get that kind of care with a hospital birth.

[Adasmommy]

If your mother mentions (screams?) specific concerns, I would research those concerns and give her an educated reply about what the chances are, what can be done about it and what you would do about it (if you knew), whether it would be detected by a midwife and whether it would be detected in mainstream prenatal care, what the dangers are to you and baby, etc

I would do that for each concern.

And if she doesn't list specifics, which to me means a far less reasonable objection, then maybe you could just do this research on the most common (or commonly perceived) dangers and present it all to her. You might be doing this anyway as part of your own research and planning.

Sometimes there are conditions which get people alarmed but the treatment is not particularly effective anyway, so I don't feel the need to get tested for it. You know? So you could point things like that out to her. And give statistics. And point out that a hospital is a dangerous, germy place to be for a newborn with a brand new immune system. Etc. Medical type arguments.

You could even say, I appreciate your bringing up *concern* and I realized it was important to have a plan so here is what I decided: and present your research. Then her "extensive medical knowledge" is an asset to you and might make it easier for her to calm down!

Good luck! Do the right thing and I hope your mother comes around!