my dh isn't on board either... i've had all my babies at home with a m/w, but this is his first altogether... homebirth doesn't phase him, it's the UC idea that does... he told me:
"I don't want to get 'stuck' with you expecting me to do all the things a midwife does, and I just don't know how."
I asked him if he would read the Emergency Childbirth Book, because, well, we live 1 hour from the midwife and at least that far from the nearest hospital. The road between us has been KNOWN to shut down for hours because of weather, the only way "out" would be by helicopter.
My last labor was only 5 hours...
"ANYTHING could happen honey, even if we DON'T plan a UC."
He said, "Yeah, I'll read it."
well, you ladies can see where I'm going with this...
I have always wanted to catch my own baby, but I also LOVE LOVE LOVE the physical labor support of the midwives... I OBVIOUSLY can't depend on dh for that stuff... I am unsure what I will do when it comes time... I am seeing a homebirth midwife, but I am not dead set on calling her when it comes "time"...
My plan right now is to just see what happens THEN and what feels right. In the LEAST, i'm going to have a hb... and I have no complaints about previous experiences. DH IS getting the bare minimum education about UC, regardless.
I believe it IS my choice, and since I'm not giving him a lot of "choice" in the matter ultimately, I don't think it would be fair to demand he sit here beside me and press on my back and wipe my forehead or cut a cord or anything else if he's not comfortable in that role.
I know he wants to be there when the baby comes, but as of this writing, he has NO desire to be the one to catch. He wants to be a spectator. That too is fine with me.
So... that's my story, so I know what it's like to not have dh on board.
I figure it will come down to how much labor support I end up needing/wanting, and how long my labor lasts on whether I have a UC or m/w attended hb... that will be the REAL deciding factor, not my dh's uneducated opinion.