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would this hurt your feelings?  

post #1 of 10
9/26/07 at 2:19am
Thread Starter 
DH and i got on the RIC subject tonight.

i said: i really dont want our son circ'ed
he said: your crazy
i said: why wont you hear me out
he said: cuz your crazy


any way you all get the point on how this went. at the end of or almost 2 1/2 talk. he said he would be open to our son staying intact BUT if ANYTHING happened to him because of it it would be ALL MY FAULT!!!

NICE...


PS was i wrong to say if it was the other way around i would never say I TOLD YOU SO but truly it would be all your fault.... it was all i could think of saying with out having to myself


i just wish he would be more open minded on more subjects then just the


advice please WWYD?
post #2 of 10
9/26/07 at 2:31am
my dh didnt call me crazy but he informs me still that it is up to me to explain to ds why he is intact and if anything goes wrong it is my fault for wanting him to stay whole.

I am just happy he didnt fight me to hard on the subject after the inital conversation.
post #3 of 10
9/26/07 at 3:06am
This article can help you understand why your DH is being so defensive about this. http://www.udonet.com/circumcision/v...ty_of_men.html
post #4 of 10
9/26/07 at 3:14am
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovebug View Post
DH and i got on the RIC subject tonight.

i said: i really dont want our son circ'ed
he said: your crazy
i said: why wont you hear me out
he said: cuz your crazy
Yes, because logic dictates that the "crazy" plan is to preserve what gazillions of years of evolution has made into the perfect genitalia for a human to have, and deciding instead to crush, rip, flay, and otherwise mutilate that flawless design.

Yup, you one crazy woman!

So what would I do? I would force him to view all the research and videos and then would challenge him to provide one shred of evidence that mutilation of a baby's genitals is necessary.

Then, if he still didn't come to his senses, I would let him know that he'd never be alone with his son until he signed a legal document stating that he would not have it done without my consent.

Luckily, it seems that most men here have backed down before it got to that point!
post #5 of 10
9/26/07 at 5:42am
The Vulnerability of Men article is very good...it will help you see where your dh is coming from. This isn't personal for us - it is for a circed man.

But you are in luck - your ds is very, very unlikely to have anything 'go wrong' with his intact penis. And any minor problems (any body part can have minor problems) are generally cleared up the same way those same kind of problems are cleared up in a female - antibiotics and/or topical cream...no big deal.

Good for you for protecting your unborn son!
post #6 of 10
9/26/07 at 10:24am
Quote:
BUT if ANYTHING happened to him because of it it would be ALL MY FAULT!!!
Sounds fear based to me. Not rational at all.
post #7 of 10
9/26/07 at 11:33am


No, no, of course you are not crazy. I would be very hurt as well, and it really irks me when people throw around the phrase "you're crazy" during disagreements, particularly DHs/SOs. It seems to me like he has some kind of serious hang-up about circumcision, otherwise what reason would he have to get THAT upset about leaving your son intact? Saying "if DS has a problem, it will be your fault" is not loving at all, and it wouldn't indicate to me that he is truly on board with leaving your DS intact.

How much does your DH know about circumcision other than the obvious stereotypes about it? Do you think he would sit down and watch a circ video? My inclination would be to have him watch the video (which may turn him off of the procedure), and if after that, he still wants to circumcise, I would expect him to come back with a compelling reason to do it AND well thought-out research "proving" his point. Luckily, there isn't really any literature out there to "prove" that RIC is a valid parental choice, so he'd have a pretty tough time accomplishing this goal, I think.

And no worries, the chances of your DS having a problem requiring circumcision are so small that it's almost a non-issue. But, if your DH intends to blame you for the rest of your life in the small likelihood that it does happen, that's just wrong. I really feel for you.
post #8 of 10
9/26/07 at 8:15pm
That wouldn't have gone over well with me at all.: It does sound like your dh is afraid of the unknown (the big bad scary foreskin ) and hopefully after he has had time to let all sink in and done some research himself it won't seem so scary to him.
The defualt is leaving babies as they are born, with all their parts. The default is not a circumcised penis and to alter a baby's body there needs to be a very good medical reason, circ doesn't cut (no pun..) it.
post #9 of 10
9/26/07 at 8:17pm
No matter how upset, defensive, whatever he is feeling, I don't think it is okay for him to call you crazy.
post #10 of 10
9/27/07 at 5:59am
This would not have hurt my feelings one tiny bit. Yes, I AM CRAZY. . . I'm crazy about my child's health! No argument from me. You can call me crazy all you like but I KNOW who I am.

Misinformed as this man is, I will give him credit for having an opinion and voicing it. I'd be more worried about a guy who just shrugged his shoulders. Once this kind of guy finds out how he was robbed, he becomes the most ardent of intactivists. Ask him to watch the video called "The Prepuce" which will explain to him the gift he is giving to his son.
"The Prepuce" presentation on the anatomy & physiology of the foreskin.
(~20 min)

The Prepuce - a D.O.C. video (wmv)
View (requires Windows Media Player Plugin)
<http://www.doctorsopposingcircumcision.org/video/prepuce.html>
Download ( use "save link as" )
<http://www.doctorsopposingcircumcisi...WM7NTSC_256k_D.
wmv>
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