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Birth Plans: Do/will you have one? - Page 2

post #21 of 27
With my first I was in a hospital, but under the care of midwives, and I didn't bother with a birth plan. This time I'm with a practice of ob/gyns. When I went on the hospital tour (different hospital than last time, though I never did a tour last time), I asked the nurse about things like drinking during labor, and not bathing the baby, and she told me everything would happen according to the books unless the doctor's orders said otherwise. So today I was talking to my doctor about what I wanted and asked him to write things down. He was very good about listening to me and taking notes, but, and I was kind of surprised, he emphasized at the end that he did have everything down in his records, but that it would be much better if I also had a print-out of what was important to me to give the nurses in the hospital because that way I could be sure everyone was on board.

I didn't expect an ob/gyn to endorse a birth plan! I plan to bring a draft to a future visit to go over with the doctor for recommendations, but I was really glad he was comfortable enough to tell me to do it and won't view it as distrust.
post #22 of 27

BFW mentor...

Hi To-Fu,

I wanted to tell you that I think BFW suggests against it because although we all have wishes and hopes for the way we'd like things to go, the point is to look at it as certain guidelines, but also being open to what the universe may bring into play.

I am certifying currently to become a mentor and from how I see it, not only as a woman about to give birth, but also a doula/mentor is that I of course want to birth my child vaginally, without the use of drugs, I want my baby on my chest right away, I have also been toying with the idea of catching my own baby if I still feel that way during the birth..........I have all of these things I would like, but if something happens and I am in heavy labor for days stuck, or just exhausted then the next best thing for myself and my child might be to transfer to the hospital from my planned birth center birth...and see about getting some relief so that I might sleep.

Certainly this is not what I want now, and not in my plan....but I can understand and cope with things that may be out of my control and look at the next best thing for me.

I don't think it is a matter of choosing to write one or not. I plan to write one, just to get all of my thoughts together (as I forget things often these days), but for me I am not going to look at everything as written in stone.

Things like...I do not want my child given eye ointment is pretty much written in stone...

I hope you get what I mean. I think you should look at different methods, and ideas and take from it what feels right for you and your family. If you want to write a birth plan, write one.... The point is though if something doesn't go according to your plan (as it often can) not to look back and feel dissappointed or as though you didn't do enough or something of the like...

Just as you must open during labor and birth...you must be open to the possibilities of how things may play out.

Be well.
post #23 of 27
A friend I spoke to said her birth coach told her NOT to verbalize any plans about her labor. ?!?!? The coach said, "you will probably want the epidural, so don't refuse now." Um... something like not wanting an epidural is hopefully an educated decision that you made and you don't plan on changing your mind except in extreme circumstances. To make a birth plan is in my opinion a wonderful idea, both for your care providers at the birth, and it's also nice for you to envision your labor. Even if I'm not showing it to anyone, I enjoyed writing up a birth plan; it makes me feel more prepared for the birth!
post #24 of 27
Since we're birthing with a midwife, I don't think I'll write one this time around. We'll certainly have conversations about how we'd like things to go, though. If we had an ob I certainly would have specific wishes clearly written down.

post #25 of 27
I've not ever done one before because I always heard that you are treated worse when you walk in with one. But this time I am in a different state, different hospital etc and I think my midwives request one. If I do one I will certainly share.
post #26 of 27
I know what they're saying in BFW about not having a set plan, but as long as you're open to the possibility of things not working 100% according to plan, I don't see what's wrong in creating one. My midwife is in a hospital but she's of the philosophy of "do whatever you want" as long as I have no complications. I will also have a doula so I can probably just vocalize what I want. Even so, I think it would be fun to write my goals. If things don't go as I planned, then I know it's b/c of a natural complication, not b/c of a person pushing me into a situation I wouldn't want/need. I think it's best to think of it as Birth Preferences rather than a Birth Plan.
post #27 of 27
i just got back from my appointment with my mw this morning, and i guess i have to think a birth plan now. i didn't know if one was necessary- i have to deliver at a new hospital (if i make it in time), in a new state, and i've never used a mw before. when i used an ob before, i found birth plans really necessary, especially because the doctors and the nurses were constantly changing shifts. it really helped to keep the philosophy consistent.

my mw has suggested that although just being a "mw patient" in this hospital sends particular messages to the nurses, and they (the mws) generally understand my goals and ambitions for ncb, it's still a good idea to spell out some of the specifics (when do you cut the cord? who does it? who catches the baby? etc...)

although i don't really want to take on more work at this point, i can't see that it would hurt to have your wishes listed somewhere. and i have found that up until now, that bringing in multiple copies of your birth plan with a basket of baked goods for the nurses ensures enthusiastic support.

so i'm gonna get busy these next few weeks baking and freezing some breads and cookies to pull out when i'm in labor and bring with me in a basket with my birth plan.

in the least, writing it out is a chance for me to connect with the reality of my impending childbirth. kind of a spiritual exercise, perhaps.

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