Personally I find the idea that a "balanced" life is having a WOHP working 60 hours a week in a stressful job and a SAHM who does everything else at home bizarre and alien. That seems so out of balance to me. We tried it, and we both hated it because it felt so wrong and so alienating from each other. We're used to sharing our lives and we were so separated when we did that. We argued, we were stressed, our home life suffered, and most importantly our son suffered. Now, with two WOHPs in family-friendly jobs, our lives are happy and full now in ways that they weren't when we were trying the societally-approved official SAHM/WOHD model.
My husband lived that growing up (absent earner) and is deliberately rejecting that model in favor of the two-WOH/family friendly model of my parents. For us, it's much better.
Obviously, people find balance in many different ways. I certainly accept that there are people who find very balanced lives with the traditional SAHM/WOHD model. It just isn't for us, that's all.
Originally Posted by transformed
If "mom and dad have a carreer" is the default-then who is raising our children?
Transformed, I was in daycare starting at six weeks, and since you insult my wonderful, amazing parents by implying they didn't raise me, you should know that I am closer and have a better relationship and more respect for my parents than most of my peers, many of whom had SAHMs. I think you need to open your mind to the idea that families can work very well in different ways.
You know, I was in daycare throughout childhood, and I loved it. I felt sorry for the kids who didn't get to go. We did fun things and then my parents showed up and I showed them everything we did. They knew all my friends, they knew all my teachers, and they were more involved in my life than many of my friends' parents.
I really take exception to the idea that my parents didn't raise me, not because I think it's true (the idea is absurd) but because there is an implied insult to my parents there. I love my parents, and I don't like insults to them.