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SAHMing as default huring society's work/life balance? - Page 10

post #181 of 185
Quote:
Originally Posted by hotmamacita View Post
A small and meaningless caveat to the scope of the intellectual prowess of this thread:

some women do not want to be with their children all day
some do not want to stay home
some find staying home hard and beneath them
some do not want to trust their husbands for providing for the family
some do not want to live in a lower economic bracket
some do not want to move or go without things to be able to stay home
some do not want public assistance, thrift store clothes or old cars

And in kind, some women do want to do some or all of those things. . .
I'm a little surprised no one replied to this.

some women do not want to be with their children all day
And some are better mothers because of the separation.

some do not want to stay home
And some cannot stay home

some find staying home hard and beneath them
And some find working "beneath them"

some do not want to trust their husbands for providing for the family
And some have extenuating circumstances that make it impossible to do so.

some do not want to live in a lower economic bracket
And some will be living in that lower income bracket even with 2 working parents.

some do not want to move or go without things to be able to stay home
And some will still be going without.

some do not want public assistance, thrift store clothes or old cars
And some will need it anyway

I really don't get this list of statements. . .
post #182 of 185
I second BlueBottle - a 9 to 5 day does NOT mean you have to have a SAHM to do the shopping. In Denmark, shop hours are 9 or 10 to 5:30 most days, meaning impossible to buy shoes, go to the bank.... during the workday.
But we have just as many moms working as dads.

1. Stores are often open late one day - say Thursdays all the way until 6 or 7pm! (yes, I know this still seems early to a lot of you, but remember we work 40 hours a week, not 60).

2. If we really need to do something important, we can go during lunch or tell our boss we will be gone an extra hour and make up the time later.

3. Stores are open on Saturday from 10-2 or 10-4, and a few times a year on sundays. (ie around Christmas. Retailers aren't dumb.)

4. The men go shopping. It isn't "a womans job." Whomever has the time goes. Same with childcare. My DD was sick last Friday, and it was DH that stayed home with her, not me. Next time I will do it. It's fair distribution of labor.
post #183 of 185
Quote:
Originally Posted by leewd View Post
I'm a little surprised no one replied to this.
I didn't respond because I didn't think it made any sense and I felt like it was stated only to be inflammatory.
post #184 of 185
I haven't read the whole thread yet, but I'm going to post something anyway. Forgive me if I'm repeating something.

Quote:
She feels that if the general social understanding was that the wives were continuing to work, and that the husbands would as a result HAVE to meet at least some proportion of primary responsibility for child-care and running the household, that the situation would not be as bad as it currently is.
I agree that the work/life balance is getting a bit ridiculous, however:

1) I have a problem with the idea that husbands of women (the original statement was not gender-neutral so I won't reply that way) who WOH do more housework than those with SAH wives. That is not true (check out the American Time Use Surveys). What is true is that women who WOH work more hours every day then any other group. Which means that WOH wives are just doing the WOH in addition to the housework.

2) The longer American working hours (longest in the rich world now) do not result from SAHW but rather from the tax system. Working longer means you earn more money. That is not true in most other rich contries. Here in Germany, any hours my husband works over 40/week is basically unpaid due to the progressive tax system! People here work so little because it's just not worth it to work more.

Also, check out this.

And more food for thought: it is often stated that Scandinavian husbands do the most housework and it is assumed that that is because Scandinavian wives often WOH. However, there is no correlation. The husbands do so much housework REGARDLESS of whether the wives WOH or not.
post #185 of 185
Yes, and the whole idea of something becoming "the general social understanding" seems like such an indirect, passive-aggressive way of saying everyone (or more people) need to start living this way.

I mean, does anyone know of any other way for something to become "the general social understanding," than for more people to start doing it?

After reading this thread, I agree with the posters who say the current workplace demands have little to do with decisions of women to SAH or WOH. They're way more connected to the fact that (as stated by one poster) customers/clients can always find someone who's willing to do business with them 24/7.

As long as a substantial number of people are willing to burn the candle at both ends -- those who aren't are sometimes going to get shafted. But I sure don't believe in legislating people's choices about this.

I really liked the article about the Generation Yers. I'll be interested to see how things unfold from here.
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