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Those who have circ'd 1 child, but not the other...  

post #1 of 9
9/27/07 at 3:21pm
Thread Starter 
How has it been? I mean, do they notice a difference between each other? Does one tease the other? Ds#1 is circ'd, but we're having a homebirth this time and can't afford to circ him now. And I really don't want it done at all, but dh wants it done. So if we were to get done, it wouldn't be until Jan. I don't want to do that to him. So dh says we may not do it at all. But really, I think he's worried about our sons being "different" and it causing issues. So any stories or advice? We've been though the pros and cons, so no need to list them. Thank you!
post #2 of 9
9/27/07 at 3:28pm
No issues. At all. Ever. Our intact boy is now 7 and our circ'd boys are 16,14, and 11. The older boys asked once when our youngest was a baby, I explained the difference very simply and 2 said, "oh okay" and went about their day and one asked me why I didnt ask his permission first. That hurt, but just reinforced our anti-circ way of thinking. I apologised to him and then he went about his day too. Its never been brought up since. The older ones have never teased the younger one (well, not about that anyway, ).

Its such a non issue with the boys, it really isnt.

hth

eta: good luck on your homebirth!!
post #3 of 9
9/27/07 at 3:28pm
Hi!

I have 3 circ boys (before I knew better) and one not. There has not been any teasing or anything like that at all. My oldest kinda looked at his privates a bit weird when he was helping my change him (he is 12) and I explained what the difference was and he was totally cool with it. But he never questioned his privates or even said anything about it.

I honestly do not believe you will have anything to worry about.
post #4 of 9
9/27/07 at 3:30pm
Mine are still fairly young, but my circed son is 3.5 and my intact son is 18 months and they are perpetually naked and have never even noticed, AFAIK.
post #5 of 9
9/27/07 at 4:14pm
we have an 11yo circ'd, a 4yo and 1yo who are not...there are no issues with teasing or anything...it has been explained, and will be explained again and again, i am sure...that it was just what was done, and the education was not there...and now that we are educated, we have made better decisions...

peace...
post #6 of 9
9/27/07 at 4:19pm
I have one 11yo who is cut, and three boys who are. My older son definitely noticed a difference, and asked about it. (He was 5 when his brother was born). I explained it kindly, gently and basically did the whole when you know better you do better. Then I apologized, which I know some people don't agree with. It worked for us.

Don't circ your son. There's no reason at all.
post #7 of 9
9/27/07 at 4:34pm
I have identical twin sons, 13 years old. They tease each other about their hair, their choice of t-shirt, being the youngest (by 30 seconds), being the shortest (by 1/2 inch). They make fun of each other, they poke each other, they play tricks on each other.

Kids tease each other. Even identical twins - who look so much alike I can hardly tell them apart - tease each other about their appearance, their likes and dislikes, their choices.

They also love each other completely, and rarely say anything to hurt the other's feelings (if they do, they feel bad about it and apologize).

My identical twins strive to find differences. Your sons might have different hair color, eye color, shape of nose or ears. They certainly are not going to be even close in size until they are much older. Do you think they will be bothered by any of these differences? Why would a difference in the way the penis looks be any different - especially since penises are covered up most of the time?
post #8 of 9
9/27/07 at 9:53pm
My oldest (7yo) is circ'd, and the other two (4 and almost 2) are intact. None of the three of them has ever noticed a difference - and trust me, there is no shortage of nakedness among the three of them!

My middle son had surgery earlier this year for a hernia and communicating hydrocele: a condition which caused his scrotum to swell to the size of a plum and turn purple!! There were lots of discussions about that, but the boys have never brought up the differences in their penises. They have different hair, different eyes, different builds - it's just a non-issue.

Just an aside - the same middle son has only one testicle; it was removed surgically shortly after birth because of a problem. Should I remove a testicle of each of the other two boys, so no one is different? (Just drawing a parallel here, not meaning to sound or be snarky.) You know the foreskin has a purpose (as does a testicle), you know removing it is harmful (just as removing a testicle is.) Don't let a "what-if" scenario cause you to make the wrong choice.
post #9 of 9
9/28/07 at 2:54pm

related MDC threads on this very topic

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...ct+circumcised

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...ct+circumcised

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...ct+circumcised

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...ntact+circ%27d

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=719774

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...ng+to+my+child

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=759170
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