IS Breastfeeding "Easier" than FF? - Page 9

[ananas]

Originally Posted by dubfam

I really can't picture myself coming here for support if I have trouble with my next babe. And that is too bad, because that was my plan since I thought that this was a more supportive board.

Originally Posted by lml41981

Furthermore, you posted a pro-formula schpiel in the breastfeeding section. What, exactly, did you expect?

Exactly. This is a very supportive board- it's a very supportive breastfeeding board! If you had come on saying you were having latch problems, you would have found tons of support. But coming on to say that your son spit up breastmilk so he's on goat milk formula and you really think it's quite good...then yeah, not so much. I'm not saying that to be hurtful...but this isn't a formula feeding board, it's a breastfeeding board. Replies like you have received should be expected.

Originally Posted by dubfam

Don't ppl here realize that there are babies who would DIE if it weren't for formula???!!!

And do you realize that there are thousands and thousands of babies who die because of formula?

[hipmummy]

I had posted yesterday about I have done Bf with my ds and have ff my nanny charges. My bf difficulties were many. I am a doula and CLC along with my mother who is an IBCLC for as long as the test has been around and she ebfd four dc's over 12 months each. I had every difficult possible. I was unable to hold my ds until he was eight hours old. On top of that I could not nurse himuntil he was over 12 hours old. He was deep suctioned twice and had to to stuck every hour. I started off on the worst foot possible. My first four experiences with bf were with a medela symphony pump. In fact I let down better to machinery than ds. To make matters worse ds had a billi of 18 so I still had to pump and supplement with a syringe my extra colostrum then bm the following days. I had excessive milk production so ds would chuck the second breast. I learned quickly to only feed one breast a session. Voila, no more spitting up.
To add insult to injury ds had a very severe case of thrush that went systemic. We discovered that this was incurred during the NICU stay from the cocktail of antibiotics he was on. For one week my child screamed because he hurt to much to latch on. My mother had to syringe or spoon feed him until his mouth sores went away. Did I ever once consider quitting. NO NO NO. Not one mother I knew supported me. In fact I think I lost a lot of friends after because they all new they could never handle any of those situations. They all quit because they had no patience. Where as I never give up on anything.
If I had listen to the rest of society I would have gone on all of these stupid diets and stopped eating thing I loved forever. Most mother have no clue and think their baby had GERD or an allergy. Years ago thses "illnesses were unheard of.The reality of it is they are just to TOO FULL! There are so many made up breastfeeding issues:the biggest problem is most mothers who CHOOSE not to breastfeed are just too self absorbed and should not have had children in the first place. I read the stories of these women with "real" issues that try and try to breastfeed and kudos to you for trying and keeping with it. Your baby is so very lucky becasuse you tried.
The reason I come to MDC is because of the wonderful like minded Mamas. This was the first real true NFL site. Bringing formula in the mix is just not what we are about. If you feel sad or upset it is because you manifest those feeling from deep inside you. If someone feels guilty they have brought it on themselves.

[Therese's Mommy]

Didn't read all the posts.

You could never convince me that sterilizing bottles and whatnot, making the milk (whether it be mixing the formula or making your own like OP did) and all that jazz is in anyway easier than unhooking my bra and latching baby on.

Here are the things that I think make bfing *so* much more convenient.
--when I have to wait 3 hrs at the dr's office because he is triple booked that day I don't have to worry that I didn't pack enough bottles (or when a 10hr car ride turns into a 2 day ordeal, or whatever unexpected thing happens)

--I don't have to worry about running out of it ever

--I don't have to worry about the milk being at the right temp

--when baby is crying I don't have to think wonder if I should get a bottle ready, I just unlatch my bra and try to latch baby on. If baby is not hungry I have not wasted a whole bottle after baby take 3 sucks.

I could go on.

Nope, there is no way it is easier, you won't be able to convince me of that.

Now, is ff easier than exclusively pumping? Yes, maybe that is and that is why I have great respect for women who have to exclusively pump.

Beth

[pookel]

Originally Posted by dubfam

I think that literature saying bfing is the easiest thing ever is setting women up for failure. With everyone always talking about how simple it is, no wonder women think they can't breastfeed when they are having a minor problem. They are hearing everywhere they turn that bfing is so easy and natural. So when it isn't easy and natural for them, they think there is something wrong with THEM.

I wanted to quote this to make sure everyone reads it again.

It is beyond me why so many people on this board refuse to get this point. I have had this same argument here before and been accused of promoting formula. It infuriates me to hear people out there telling new moms, "oh, it's so easy, just pull up your shirt and latch him on!" because for so many of them, that's not how it works - and they think they have to give up because it's not working.

I was supplementing for a while with this baby while my hideously cracked nipples healed up and I ep'ed. We're back to ebf now and yes, it is getting easier. But this was my experience when we were supplementing:

Formula feed - dump powder and water into bottle, shake bottle, feed baby, burp baby, get spit up on.

Breastfeed - Get into position on the couch. Arrange pillows. Set baby on pillows. Attempt latch. Repeat until nipple is bleeding. Try other side. Attempt latch again. Try cross-cradle hold. Switch to cradle hold. Try football hold. Offer up a prayer that he finally latched this time. Try not to scream out loud in pain, because that will make him unlatch. When he's done, burp him, get spit up on. Then put Lansinoh on bleeding nipples and remember to use nursing pads, so you don't get blood on all your bras.

Does anyone here seriously want to argue that a new mother who's been told repeatedly that breastfeeding is easier, and who hasn't been warned about this kind of difficulty, would be able to get through that stage without feeling like a failure - or like she'd been lied to? Does anyone honestly think that you can convince someone in that kind of situation that breastfeeding is EASY?

It's not always easy. It hasn't been for me. It's worth it, but it's not EASY.

[sunnysideup]

Originally Posted by Mandynee22

When DD was FF I used tap, too. Baby water has flouride- at least any of the ones I've seen including nursery water, and flouride is a no-no for babies under 12 months (I actually got into an argument about that the other day LOL)

Tap water has fluoride in it.

[artgoddess]

Originally Posted by dubfam

I want to start this by saying that I am NOT trying to advocate formula feeding. I strongly believe that breast milk is the best for a child.

I hear mom's IRL and on MDC say that Breastfeeding is SOOO much easier than formula feeding.

I have also read this in a lot of breastfeeding literature.

I found it to be completely untrue, and I am wondering *What* makes people feel that breast feeding is "Easier"?

I had to switch to formula when DS was 5 months old. Long story, and the reasons why are beside the point.

Formula feeding was sooo much easier. It took about 10 percent of the time that breast feeding did and was much more convenient. We used a fresh goats milk formula that we made at home. When we would go out we would bring a really small cooler bag for the bottle, and a thermos of hot water to heat it up with. Yes, that part (bringing more stuff) is harder than breast feeding. But it was so much easier to heat a bottle and be done feeding him in five minutes versus the amount of time (at least 30 minutes) it would have taken to breastfeed him. And I didn't have to worry about nursing bras or breast pads or leaking breasts. I could also ask DP to give him the bottle which is not an option if you are bfing.

Middle of the night feedings were the same thing....keep a little cooler bag right next to the bed with pre made bottles and a thermos of hot water to heat it. I took 2 minutes from the time Owen woke to the time he had his bottle, and I didn't even have to get out of bed. He would be done and ready to go back to sleep within 5 minutes.

With Formula, anyone can help out. It doesn't have to be you who feeds the baby every time. You can actually get a few hours of sleep or go out somewhere without the baby for a while if you need to without having to pump (which was a disaster for us )

I just think it is silly not to acknowledge that there are MANY things about formula feeding that make it much easier for the mom.

That is why a lot of people switch to formula...because they are overwhelmed and it is sooo much easier than breastfeeding.

I have a good friend who has been breastfeeding for the last 2.5 yrs. She has 2 Bio kids that have been Bf'd exclusively, ages 2 yo and 10 mo.
She and I have argued (nicely) about this exact thing for about a year now. She insisted that she couldn't understand why anyone would think formula was easier.
Well, she just adopted an infant, and she is doing Goat milk formula for the first time and she can't BELIEVE how much easier it is. She had just thought that FF would be harder because all the pro breastfeeding literature says that it is.
She and I were talking about this and I thought it would be interesting to get some other opinions.

I would especially like to hear if there are ppl who have done both and found breastfeeding to be much easier over all.

Again, this is not meant to imply in any way that formula is better, or that people should switch to formula w.out a medical reason!!


I just think that if we are going to try to convince someone to bf instead of ff then we should be honest.
Breastfeeding is a huge sacrifice and commitment. It is worth it 150%, and is wonderful for Mom and Baby.
It is the healthiest thing for a baby to eat.
It is really hard work.

Can you please explain WHAT is easier about it? BFing takes about as much work as unclipping my nursing bra and lifting my shirt. I can't imagine making anything no matter how easy to make would be easier than that.


Seriously what did you and your friend find more difficult about BFing than prep work, or dealing with bottles, planning in advance and packing them if you are leaving the house for more and an hour or two. I'm just not getting why FFing would be easier than the 2 seconds it takes to unclip a bra and lift a shirt.

[sunnysideup]

Originally Posted by pookel

It's not always easy. It hasn't been for me. It's worth it, but it's not EASY.

But the question was "is breastfeeding easier than formula feeding?" For the majority of women it is. That doesn't mean it's easy, and it doesn't mean that, at first, it isn't difficult and painful.

It's like sex. Before you've done it, people tell you it's great, it's a beautiful experience, yadda yadda yadda. Then you try it for the first time and it is painful and awkward. Does that mean everyone who said it was wonderful was lying?

[jeca]

breastfeeding, at least for me , was 130% easier than FF. I FF my son and nursed my dd's. I would never go back to FF'd. BF is so much more easier in the long run.

[artgoddess]

Originally Posted by sunnysideup

But the question was "is breastfeeding easier than formula feeding?" For the majority of women it is. That doesn't mean it's easy, and it doesn't mean that, at first, it isn't difficult and painful.

It's like sex. Before you've done it, people tell you it's great, it's a beautiful experience, yadda yadda yadda. Then you try it for the first time and it is painful and awkward. Does that mean everyone who said it was wonderful was lying?

funny but true analogy. I sure got a mother of a blister BFing my first. The cracked and bleeding nipple on the other side was way lass painful than the one with the blister. The good thing is that the breast milk itself helped the cracked nipple heal quickly. And before my son was a month old we were smooth sailing. A month, that was it. One month out of 40 months of a fantastic simple easy and wonderful BFing relationship with my son. No formula would be worth that month. I got a little sore for two days with babe number two and that was it.

[sunnysideup]

Originally Posted by pookel

Formula feed - dump powder and water into bottle, shake bottle, feed baby, burp baby, get spit up on.

Breastfeed - Get into position on the couch. Arrange pillows. Set baby on pillows. Attempt latch. Repeat until nipple is bleeding. Try other side. Attempt latch again. Try cross-cradle hold. Switch to cradle hold. Try football hold. Offer up a prayer that he finally latched this time. Try not to scream out loud in pain, because that will make him unlatch. When he's done, burp him, get spit up on. Then put Lansinoh on bleeding nipples and remember to use nursing pads, so you don't get blood on all your bras.

I saw my mother breastfeed my 5 younger siblings, I've breastfed four children, I've seen 15 nieces and nephews bf, plus many friends and LLL group members, and I can tell you that breastfeeding is not like that for most women. Once you get over the learning stage in the beginning, it is normally very easy.

[pookel]

Originally Posted by sunnysideup

But the question was "is breastfeeding easier than formula feeding?" For the majority of women it is. That doesn't mean it's easy, and it doesn't mean that, at first, it isn't difficult and painful.

Except that something like 35% of mothers in the U.S. attempt to formula feed and quit before 6 months. In most cases, that's because they never got past the initial difficult stage, and gave up because it was too hard. For them, formula feeding IS easier than breastfeeding ever was.

Why are people so resistant to the idea of telling new moms, "look, it's not as easy at first, but after the first couple of months, it will be easier than bottles"? Why the insistence on exaggerating the difficulties of formula feeding? (Not wise, because many of these women have ff friends and will see for themselves that it is not some huge, complicated ordeal.)

[pookel]

Originally Posted by sunnysideup

I saw my mother breastfeed my 5 younger siblings, I've breastfed four children, I've seen 15 nieces and nephews bf, plus many friends and LLL group members, and I can tell you that breastfeeding is not like that for most women. Once you get over the learning stage in the beginning, it is normally very easy.

And the fact that you were raised in an environment where breastfeeding was so prevalent probably contributed to your lack of problems.

[nummies]

Why are people so resistant to the idea of telling new moms, "look, it's not as easy at first, but after the first couple of months, it will be easier than bottles"? Why the insistence on exaggerating the difficulties of formula feeding? (Not wise, because many of these women have ff friends and will see for themselves that it is not some huge, complicated ordeal.)

Geez...When I was pregnant I never even heard that BF was easy!!! I heard "Oh it is so painful!" "Oh your nipples will bleed!" "Oh my nipple about fell off and my son lost 1/2 his body weight, and it sucks being the only one that can feed him!" I only heard horror stories! Not one person said "It's easy just lift shirt and latch.

[sunnysideup]

Originally Posted by pookel

Why are people so resistant to the idea of telling new moms, "look, it's not as easy at first, but after the first couple of months, it will be easier than bottles"?

I am not at all resistant to saying that. "bf is easier in the long run" is exactly what I say. Some posters are arguing that ff is easier all around. That's what I disagree with.

[pookel]

Originally Posted by nathansmama

Geez...When I was pregnant I never even heard that BF was easy!!! I heard "Oh it is so painful!" "Oh your nipples will bleed!" "Oh my nipple about fell off and my son lost 1/2 his body weight, and it sucks being the only one that can feed him!" I only heard horror stories! Not one person said "It's easy just lift shirt and latch.

Maybe that's because you were hearing about it from your friends rather than breastfeeding advocates? I was reading pro-bf sites and books and heard a whole lot of "it's so easy."

[pookel]

Originally Posted by sunnysideup

I am not at all resistant to saying that. "bf is easier in the long run" is exactly what I say. Some posters are arguing that ff is easier all around. That's what I disagree with.

I don't think anyone is arguing that it is always easier for everyone. I think they're simply sharing their own experience of ff being easier. And for some women, ff always will be easier.

I have done both, and overall, I think the ease and convenience is about equal for me. Pumping is a pain, leaking is a pain, NIP is a pain. But it's nice that it's free and I don't have to wash bottles.

[sunnysideup]

Originally Posted by pookel

Except that something like 35% of mothers in the U.S. attempt to formula feed and quit before 6 months. In most cases, that's because they never got past the initial difficult stage, and gave up because it was too hard. For them, formula feeding IS easier than breastfeeding ever was.

I've known a few women who breastfed for six months or less. In all cases, they did not quit because it was hard. They stopped breastfeeding because nursing an older baby is "gross" or they "wanted their body back" or so they could be away from baby longer. I've honestly never known anyone IRL that quit breastfeeding because it was too hard.

[annettemarie]

I think of the "easy" argument for breastfeeding the same way I think of the "it helps you lose weight" argument. Statistically, it may well be true, but it can be a real stumbling block for those for whom it isn't true. I'm a die-hard lactivist--I spent my morning promoting breastfeeding, nursing my babe at a soccer match and a health fair, as well as nursing a teddy bear--and if someone had tried to sell breastfeeding to me with the argument that it was "easy" I'd probably laugh at them. I have big boobs, a hypertonic infant who likes to arch, and an overactive letdown. NIP is difficult and stressful for me. But it's a hassle I would gladly take, compared to the alternative.

I really believe that instead of a flip "breastfeeding is easier," we need to be more specific, and we also need to speak in terms of a range of normal rather than assuming normal is one fixed point on the spectrum.

I've never formula-fed, so I wouldn't presume to know what all goes into it. And I'm someone for whom, despite my issues listed above, breastfeeding has always come amazingly easy, but I know that some women go through Herculean efforts to get breastmilk into their baby, and it's not easy, and I think they deserve a medal for all they do.

It's hard. On the one hand, the "easiness" of breastfeeding can be a real appeal to some mamas. On the other hand, the "easiness" of breastfeeding can also be a real turn-off for the mamas--be they many or few--for whom it doesn't come easily.

Breastfeeding is natural, but it doesn't always come naturally.

[artgoddess]

Originally Posted by dubfam

No....the rudeness and judegment is in the posts that claim that
most women who switch to formula are uneducated...ie not as smart as you (general you)
Or that Formula is like kraft mac n cheese
Or that breast feeding is easy for almost every woman (I must be a freak of nature)

Well I've never had kraft mac and cheese, so I can't comment on that but it is a simple truth that most women (not all, but MOST) who switch to formula are uneducated about FF vs BFing. Nothing rude or judgemental about that. And for most (or almost every) woman BFing is easier than FFing, simple fact. Just because you are not like most women does not mean people are calling you a freak of nature.

No reason to cal posters to this thread rude because of those facts.

[Changed]

Re: women who quit because it was too hard- X-posted-

I have but she ended up propping bottles and mixing the formula weak to save money. Her sister is nursing her baby who is only a few months younger and believe me, she's wishing she'd stuck it out.

We're not discussing if breast feeding is EASY. The OP asked if it was easier. Mothering isn't easy. Children aren't always easy. Given your choices in the whole infant feeding ballpark, breast feeding is easiest in the long run.

IME, in the short run too. I spent more time that i'd like to admit trying to figure out how to make formula without bubbles in it from shaking or lumps from stirring and then how to get the gunk out of the bottles. Then with my second, I had to pump, fortify with preemie formula, HMF and thick it and then mix it up oh so carefully and then pray she didn't puke every last milliliter up all over herself WITH her meds and aspirate. Then I got to clean the sink full of dishes mixing and pumping required.

And naturally, since FF was that hard for me, it must be that hard for everyone.