So uncomfortable I want to cry

[GinaRae]

I am so exhausted, even my husband is worried. I feel a bit nauseated and just generally uncomfortable all the time. I tried laying down on my left for a few hours and other than helping calm my heartbeat, I don't feel any better. My stomach is fairly painful all over when I move too.

I don't know if it's the food allergies again or what. I just feel so beaten down physically and emotionally (the homebirth thing). I had GREAT days Sat, Sun and Mon and then suddenly sick since Tuesday. I don't see how that's normal!

The couch is super uncomfortable, as it forces me to slouch backwards. Pillows stuffed behind me aren't comfortable and they make me hot. Sitting on the edge of the couch isn't comfy because of how much my stomach hurts, how cramped I feel with baby in that position and how the couch is built on a slant.

The only other seating is a hardwood floor, an ottoman with no back, the bed, or an uncomfortable dining room chair. I guess a bean bag too, but that would just have me slouching back again.

Sitting forward is uncomfortable due to baby and sitting backwards makes me feel even more ill.

Being sickie just makes me feel worse about the homebirth thing. I feel beaten down and hopeless. I want to just give up -- after all, my urine hasn't changed in a week because there's really nothing more I can see to do. And I think the MWs just don't believe I am taking care of myself. Plus, I have gotten bitter towards them and want to tell them to go to hell.

Sorry. I am just so miserable!

You know, I am almost tempted to just go to the ER tonight and complain and see if they send me to maternity and figure out something the midwives are missing. Wishful thinking I guess. Is that just weird, or sneaky or just plain dumb?

[Googy]

Gina,
Please, please go see a doctor and find out what is wrong. You just shouldn't be feeling this miserable! Midwives are THE BEST for delivering babies, but they do not have the general medical training that doctors have, and I just feel like they are really missing something here. I am all for avoiding unneccessary medical interventions, but there ARE times when medicine is a blessing. Please go see a doctor, find out what's wrong, and let them take care of it. If this issue is resolved, maybe you will be able to have the birth you want, or at least you and the baby will be healthy. If you continue to get sicker and sicker, this will definitely not be the case.

I will of course support any decision that you make no matter what, but please consider seeing a doctor.

[LittleLlama]

I think since you've had some "trouble" it would be good to see someone other than a midwife about why you're feeeling so rotten

....but I was feeling horrible the other day, achy, my stomach/belly hurt so bad. Finally I started throwing up. Once all the food was out, I felt fine and haven't had any trouble since.

[lisalulu]

Originally Posted by GinaRae

You know, I am almost tempted to just go to the ER tonight and complain and see if they send me to maternity and figure out something the midwives are missing. Wishful thinking I guess. Is that just weird, or sneaky or just plain dumb?

I don't think its any of those things. When I was reading your post, I was wondering if there could be something wrong that the midwives missed-maybe something not necessarily related to the pregnancy? I'd consider going or making a trip to the regular dr just to see.

ETA: and hope you feel better soon!

[meisterfrau]

I agree with everyone else. I feel like I have been stalking your posts lately...and getting more and more worried about you the more I read. Please consider getting checked out.

[GinaRae]

Fear #1: They find nothing because I am a whiny fruitcake.

I've always been sick with pregnancies, but I guess with those it had a clear reason: pre-e or PIH.


Fear #2: They find something. It's bad.

Ignorance is bliss. And who will take care of the kids while I am out of commission?


Fear #3: I go through heck with a doc trying to find something. They find nothing, but I lose the baby anyway.

I don't even want to go there.


I feel like I am paralyzed with fear, anxiety and hopelessness. Not to mention, I don't know what to do.. who do I call? What do I say? I always know what everyone ELSE should do and it always seems so easy. Yet I am stuck here, running in place.

[Googy]

Originally Posted by GinaRae

Fear #1: They find nothing because I am a whiny fruitcake.

I've always been sick with pregnancies, but I guess with those it had a clear reason: pre-e or PIH.


Fear #2: They find something. It's bad.

Ignorance is bliss. And who will take care of the kids while I am out of commission?


Fear #3: I go through heck with a doc trying to find something. They find nothing, but I lose the baby anyway.

I don't even want to go there.


I feel like I am paralyzed with fear, anxiety and hopelessness. Not to mention, I don't know what to do.. who do I call? What do I say? I always know what everyone ELSE should do and it always seems so easy. Yet I am stuck here, running in place.

Well, if its #1, then you can go home, rest easy, and have your homebirth.

If its #2, the thing that's wrong is still going to be there no matter what. If you know what it is it can be treated. If you don't know what it is you can't treat it, and the repercussions of this could be serious--the problem will only get worse. Its best to nip the problem in the bud than to allow it to continue.

With #3, I think your best chance of NOT losing your baby is to find out what's wrong and fix it as soon as possible.

In terms of who to call, I would start with an OB. If you're really, really miserable tonight I would go to the ER.

[LittleLlama]

#1- Then you're fine. It happens all the time. Bruising your pride is worth finding that out!

#2- if it's something serious that could have been treated now but is left to get worse, it will be all the more time that someone has to take care of the kids and you may not be in a condition to actively plan that care.

#3- Just find out what's wrong! Only take one step at a time.

[meisterfrau]

Gina, I understand EXACTLY how you feel. I have absolutely been there too. And I know it is so much easier to say to someone else than to do it yourself, but doing the equivalent of putting your fingers in your ears and going "LA, LA, LA, Body trying to tell me something is wrong...I can't hear you!!!" isn't helping anything.

What if it's #4...something that ISN'T a huge deal, but CAN be helped relatively easily, and you get to continue the rest of your pregnancy in peace once it's taken care of instead of suffering and worrying, or

#5 Something serious that you will look back on 6 months from now and think "Wow. Thank goodness I got that checked out or else *insert bad thing here* could have happened."

I have definitely known the feeling of knowing I should go to the ER or call the OB and being paralyzed by my own fear and not doing it. I understand. Please do it anyway.

[strawberryfields08]

I think you should be checked out, if for nothing else for peace of mind. I have been to the ER twice this pregnancy and each time they sent me home saying nothing was wrong. I kept thinking to myself I know I am tough, I homebirthed my first baby with no problems and I know my body, why am I so confused about what is going on. But each time DH felt better which in turn made me feel a little bit better. Even if they send you home and you have the same symptoms you might feel less stress which is also good for you and the baby. But if something is wrong it is better to get it fixed now then pretend it is all OK until it is not. HOPEFULLY they would send you home and you would feel a little embarassed about going. That is the best option. So take it Please! We all want you to have a better feeling pregnancy and a healthy homebirth!

[Grace24]

Honey, just do the "next right thing" instead of getting all ahead of yourself... call an OB. Don't think any further than that. One foot in front of the other.

I'm SURE if nothing's wrong, no-one will be laughing at you.

[Curlita]

Yup, yup, yup, what everyone else is saying. Don't borrow trouble, but DO go see someone to get checked out. At the very least, a second opinion will be helpful. It might be a simple fix, or they might be able to locate the source of the trouble for you where the midwives have not.

Either way, you don't want to feel like this for the next 8 or so weeks! Take care of yourself and the babe.

Big hugs, Gina.

[myjulybabes]

Man, I so hear you on the "but who do I call and what exactly do I say?", and being afraid that you're just being whiny about nothing. It's a crappy feeling. But in your shoes, I'd grit my teeth and do it. Do your midwives work with a particular hospital? I'd consider calling L&D there directly, and maybe focus on the stomach pain as your major complaint.

Yeah, going in is a hassle. And they may or may not find anything. But is sitting around in pain and uncertainty that much better?

[*GreenMama*]

I agree with everyone above about seeing somebody.

As for the uncomfortable chair situation, I have to say that the last few weeks of my preganancy the only thing I could sit on was a birth/pilates ball. It forces you not to slouch while also taking the pressure off your hips, which is super helpful for a baby whose head is engaged the wrong way. They're fairly cheap, and you can get them in any target type store, or you can hop on a frontier order and get one there. I lost my ball, so I'm actually running a frontier order next week JUST so I can get a new birth ball, lol.

[GinaRae]

I've sent an e-mail to the MW to tell her I intend to get a consult and do they have a recommendation. I am wondering what she will say as she's tended to be inconsistent from one appointment to another. I wonder if she will suddenly say it's not necessary.

That got me thinking about the MWs anyway. That one is less experienced and is always inconsistent. No wonder I am confused. She also gets flustered every other appointment when I am not measuring right on. Once it's my fault and I need protein, the next time it's glazed over, another time it's something else.

Also, the other MW is more experienced, but the majority of our appointments have been without her OR during my appt I feel rushed by her because she needs to leave for whatever reason. I figured it was a fluke at first, but it hasn't resolved appointment after appointment.


As far as the birth ball, it sounds great! But I feel so crappy, I need to be more supported because I am sitting but sorta laying there too . I cannot sit up and feel okay enough to keep sitting up without support for long.

Thanks, everyone. I am eating a lot of humble pie, but glad the other cooks in the kitchen are from my DDC!

[*Lindsey*]

Gina. No other advice than what's been given, just lots of s

[dcgrl]

Gina,
I understand where you're coming from with the whole not wanting to know if something's wrong. This is a trait that runs in my family, and I have it, too. But I've found myself changing my attitude because of what's at stake--my baby. I don't really care if my midwives or anyone else think I'm overreacting--it's my BABY!
I also agree with others that you shouldn't be feeling so crappy. The third trimester is no picnic, for sure, but your body is telling you something. Get it checked.
I also agree with the idea of getting an exercise ball. I sit on it at home when I can't find a comfortable position on the sofa. If you feel like you need more support you can try putting it against a wall.

feel better gina!

[Artichokie]

I am not in your DDC, but I wanted to ask if you have had your gall bladder checked. You describe several symptoms that I was experiencing, and it turned out to be gall stones. The pain in my stomach and back (right below my rib cage) was excruciating and I was nauseated a lot.

It doesn't make you high risk, and there are things you can do to feel a lot less miserable. All it took for me to be dx'd was a 10 min u/s of the gall bladder.

[sorteep]

I was thinking GAll Bladder also... pls pls get checked.. does your MW have an OB back up?? or go right to a gastroenterologist to get the whole stomach gall bladder thing checked.. don't worry about looking stupid if nothing is wrong.. better safe than sorry.. many hugs, pls get looked at..pls...

[GinaRae]

I had forgotten about gallbladder. I have an "attack" once in a while when not pregnant and so I am pretty sure there's something going on with the GB too. But right now the pain isn't constant in my belly and doesn't feel like the other times I was sure it was the GB. But what do I know? Oh, and there is no pain between the shoulder blades or below. Back pain, yes, but only from standing or sewing, etc.

Hmmm!!!!