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NICU refusing to allow my friend to breastfeed! Help! - Page 3

post #41 of 82
9/28/07 at 8:36pm
I noticed you are in GA. What hospital are you at?

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post #42 of 82
9/28/07 at 8:49pm
Tell her to do what I did...snatch that baby out of the baby box and feed it!!

But then again, I also tried to remove her from the NICU and hospital with her baby lojack still attached.

She has every right as the mother of that child to feed her baby in whatever way she sees fit and we all know that there is no better medicine than mommy milk!!
post #43 of 82
9/28/07 at 8:58pm
i have no advice but i amreally heartbroken for your friend and her baby, i hope this gets resolved asap!! what a great friend you are!!!
post #44 of 82
9/28/07 at 9:40pm
Thread Starter 
****Update****

A bit of progress...

Well, today she got demanding with the nurses in the NICU and got a pediatrician on her side. He told them to let her come in there and nurse her son. So now they have her on a "strict" 3 hour schedule. She gets to come in every 3 hours and feed him for 15 minutes on each breast. Get ready to get pissed. When she asked why they told her "because if he feeds longer than that there isn't any milk coming out and he'll just get gassy from sucking" Can you BELIEVE the ignorance!!! And these are the nurses in charge of the sickest babies. You'd think they'd understand basic biology and how breasts work! I told her to get that pediatrician involved again.

And a big setback....
Well, they are discharging her from the hospital tomorrow even though they want to keep him there. They aren't doing anything for him but monitoring him anyway. She has epilepsy and cannot drive so she will have to have her boyfriend drop her off at the hospital at 6am and pick her up at 8pm. She is going to do this so that she can breastfeed him during the day. At night, she really has no way to, unless she wants to stay and just sleep in a waiting area, there are no parents areas in the NICU and she is recovering from a C-section.

I told her to start playing hardball and call the patient advocate and threaten them with legal action. She knows her rights, but she just isn't the most outspoken person. If it were my baby the local news would be up in there already, but I just feel like I can only tell her these great suggestions and hope she takes them.

I want to start something, I want to really change things with our local hospital. There are so many people who won't speak up or will just believe any BS medical "professionals" tell them. I want to fight for these women. I will certainly be writing letters, but I want to do more. I will be contacting LLL.

It seems like this hospital and NICU just plain suck compared to many of the wonderful hospitals you mamas have told me about just in this thread. I want our local hospital to be like that.

Thank you all for your support and sharing my outrage.
post #45 of 82
9/28/07 at 10:08pm
I might be able to help out. I am part of a preemie parenting group in Atlanta. I need to know what hospital your friend is at.
post #46 of 82
9/28/07 at 10:33pm
Isn't there an LC on staff?? That is BS that they are telling her! Have her bring in a BF book to show them the facts! They have no clue! It is a shame that they are giving such misinformation. Your friend can nurse her baby as long as she wants.

If it were me I would intentionally nurse for 20 mins on one side then squirt the nurse in the eye to show here there is still milk in there after 20 mins!
post #47 of 82
9/28/07 at 10:43pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jilian View Post
Isn't there an LC on staff?? That is BS that they are telling her! Have her bring in a BF book to show them the facts! They have no clue! It is a shame that they are giving such misinformation. Your friend can nurse her baby as long as she wants.

If it were me I would intentionally nurse for 20 mins on one side then squirt the nurse in the eye to show here there is still milk in there after 20 mins!
I like how you think! We're much more fiesty than my friend. I am going to check into the LC situation at this hospital because they don't appear to have any or they aren't worth a crap. The only one she's seen so far just came in long enough to give her a pump and then leave. Everything I've been talking to her about (how important the colostrum is, how important it is to keep her breasts stimulated so that she can produce a good milk supply, etc. was all totally new info to her. Thank goodness the baby has a good latch on his own, no one even helped her with that.)
post #48 of 82
9/28/07 at 10:49pm
Why don't they let her bring him home again? Just because of the glucose levels and body temp? That was the concern in our situation, too. My oldest was born at 4 pounds at 38 weeks (IUGR) and once I got breastfeeding established and they determined nothing was wrong except that he was tiny, they let us go.
post #49 of 82
9/28/07 at 10:51pm
Quote:
If it were me I would intentionally nurse for 20 mins on one side then squirt the nurse in the eye to show here there is still milk in there after 20 mins!
Totally! (Of course, I got in a formula standoff with the ped on call after my youngest son was born and I laughed in her face.)
post #50 of 82
9/28/07 at 10:53pm

A suggestion that might work

This is an idea that might work for her. I was able to do this once my child was more stable like hers is now. Insist that the child be transferred to the pediatric floor. There the baby can still be monitored by the nurses and she gets to stay in the room with the baby as there is always a bed by the cribs. I was able to do this my last week in the hospital and I could nurse and sleep, had a bathroom, this ped ward gave free meals to nursing mamas of patients and she could recouperate from her cesarean more easily as well. Plus, you can actually check out of a Ped floor AMA if need be and most states do not allow you to check out AMA of a NICU ward. I knew this and it was my escape plan if they didn't let me go at the end of that week. Given her status as cesarean recovering and epileptic, if she can get the patient advocate on her side she might really be able to make that scenario work for her!!! I wish her the best!
post #51 of 82
9/28/07 at 11:11pm
i'm watching and waiting this out with you. i'm curious as to the hospital too. pm me if you don't want to name it public-ly. i don't have many hospital connections but i definately want to both avoid this one and help with changes if i can.
post #52 of 82
9/28/07 at 11:13pm
Along those lines, even transferring to the PICU would give her a place to sleep I bet. We were in the PICU in Savannah (Memorial) w/ my son and it had a crib and a chair I could sleep in and the nurses were great. I had a pump and everything I needed while he was there. There was a TINY baby across from us (w/ no family from what I could tell) so I know having an isolette up there instead of a crib is not a problem.
post #53 of 82
9/29/07 at 2:18am
If she can't get the baby transferred there is likely a R. McDonald house in the area, or a place like it. I also think you need to advocate for her as much as possible, with her consent.

My aunt had preemie and sick twins in January, the NICU staff was horrific. They called social services on her (backfired as social worker said wtf? you guys are nuts, let this woman feed her babies!), put her on a psych hold, and FF the babies even though there were orders posted ON THE WALL not to. And they threw away bank breast milk in favor of formula. And they said all that bs about only a few minutes blah blah blah. They destroyed her bfing chances. They also had kangaroo care posters everywhere, but wouldn't let her kc them. She's suing. She was at a major hospital in Denver.

Don't let this happen to your friend and her baby. If she can't use her voice, please be her voice.
post #54 of 82
9/29/07 at 2:19am
WHAT?! Thank goodness that was not our NICU experience -- I would have raised holy heck.

Please, please, please encourage your friend to contact the patient advocate. That is not, "playing hardball," that is just getting someone to help her do what is BEST for her child. It is not nearly as confrontational as hiring a lawyer, and usually just requires a couple of phone calls. Doing this could really help make it better for future mothers in her situation, too.

Also, you might want to go here:

http://www.bfmed.org/index.asp?menuID=139

and print out the protocol "10. Breastfeeding the near-term infant" for her to show the staff, too.
post #55 of 82
9/29/07 at 2:27am
I would have raised holy heck.
That's why they called SS and psych on her. It was disgusting. I had my DS at that hospital and it was fine, but we were not in the NICU. An aside, her babies caught RSV there and were re-hospitalized 1 day after release. They are total jerk-faces there.
post #56 of 82
9/29/07 at 10:30am
Thread Starter 
well I just went to the website of the hospital and found a phone # where you can call if you have concerns about patient care or safety. I called and left a message asking that my friend be put in contact with a lactation consultant and a patient advocate. I told them the situation about how they will have a mother who is recovering from a C-section who is epileptic just sitting in a waiting room all day because they won't offer her a place to stay so she can breastfeed her son. I told them how they compare to other area hospitals. I left a lengthy message about how shocked I am that NICU nurses do not have a basic biological understanding of breastfeeding, how important breastfeeding is to a sick/small baby, and suggested that they make sure all nurses are educated on breastfeeding and how to support breastfeeding. Hopefull something will happen today.
post #57 of 82
9/29/07 at 10:55am
Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveChild421 View Post
And a big setback....
Well, they are discharging her from the hospital tomorrow even though they want to keep him there. They aren't doing anything for him but monitoring him anyway. She has epilepsy and cannot drive so she will have to have her boyfriend drop her off at the hospital at 6am and pick her up at 8pm. She is going to do this so that she can breastfeed him during the day. At night, she really has no way to, unless she wants to stay and just sleep in a waiting area, there are no parents areas in the NICU and she is recovering from a C-section.

I told her to start playing hardball and call the patient advocate and threaten them with legal action. She knows her rights, but she just isn't the most outspoken person. If it were my baby the local news would be up in there already, but I just feel like I can only tell her these great suggestions and hope she takes them.

I want to start something, I want to really change things with our local hospital. There are so many people who won't speak up or will just believe any BS medical "professionals" tell them. I want to fight for these women. I will certainly be writing letters, but I want to do more. I will be contacting LLL.
It's pretty common for a mom to be discharged before the baby can come home - even in the best hospitals. Why is she out in the waiting room? She should ask the staff to bring her a rocking chair and then she can hang out with her baby the entire day (except for shift changes). I spent lots of days doing that. It's not comfortable but at least she'll get some more time with him and hopefully be able to get him out of there faster.

She NEEDS to call or her boyfriend needs to call. Anyone else calling won't do the situation much good to be honest. Has she tried talking to the neonatologists? They would carry more clout than the pediatrician.

Any idea on when the baby is coming home?

What a stinky situation.
post #58 of 82
9/29/07 at 1:21pm
Lovechild, is she anywhere near the Atlanta area? If so, have her transfer the baby's care to Dr. Kute. She is a fantastic ped and is also a IBCLC and will fight for that mama and baby. It might be worth a call to her anyway to see if she can help in some way.
post #59 of 82
9/29/07 at 6:38pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveChild421 View Post
[B] Well, now that he's in NICU, they won't allow her to nurse in there "because other families are in there too" and they won't allow him out long enough to nurse in her room.
I don't understand the reason they won't let the baby nurse. Is it because they think NIP is indecent? Is it that other familes are FF and they will be offended? What's their reasoning?
post #60 of 82
9/29/07 at 6:55pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamabadger View Post
I don't understand the reason they won't let the baby nurse. Is it because they think NIP is indecent? Is it that other familes are FF and they will be offended? What's their reasoning?
I don't understand. My two oldest were both in the NICU and the staff and docs encouraged the BF. This was in two different hospitals too!

So very strange. Or maybe I got lucky.
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Mothering › Mothering Discussion Forums › Parenting › Ages and Stages › NICU & Preemie Parenting › NICU refusing to allow my friend to breastfeed! Help!