Unschoolers, reassure me!!!

[mommy2abigail]

We attended the live and learn conference this year, and I came back really inspired and ready to commit 100% to child led learning, radical parenting ect. Now, dd is only 2.5, so we have a long way to go on this! One thing I was really convicted about during the conference was my negativity towards tv watching. DD had been completely tv free until almost now. A month or so ago, she wasn't feeling well, so we rented a movie for her, Charlottes Web. She ADORED it, so we bought it. Since then, we rented a few more, Nemo, because we watched the live show and she fell in love, Milo and Otis because it's one I loved as a kid and she loves the live animal movies, like Charlotte's Web, ect. CW is the only one we actually own, and I like renting because we have to take it back to the store after 3 days, and she gets that, and actually likes to put it in the slot, ect. Well, she asks every. single. day. to watch CW. Seriously, I know every line in that movie. And while it is really cute and I like the movie (it's not a really annoying cartoon or what have you) the everyday thing is a bit much. I'm trying really really hard to give her freedom regarding the movie, since I know my area of weakness (as far as RU is concerned) is tv. So please reassure me that this wont go on forever! That she wont be glued to the tv for years to come! She now knows how to operate the vcr, something I swore was a sign of lazy parents just a few months ago (I know, I know, I'm now properly humbled thank you very much... ) TIA

[Wilhemina]

Originally Posted by mommy2abigail

1 She now knows how to operate the vcr, something I swore was a sign of lazy parents just a few months ago (I know, I know, I'm now properly humbled thank you very much... ) TIA

I'll bet we've all had these moments, I know I have!


My oldest (of 3) will be 9 in a couple of weeks (just FYI). This phase will probably last longer than you're comfortable with, but she WILL outgrow it. It might be against your newfound RU principles, but I have in the past *explained* to my toddler that the VCR (or movie or TV) needs to rest. Or, more honestly, explain that your ears and brain need a rest from the distraction - you're needs count too!

Good luck. I'm jealous you made it to your conference. Maybe one day I'll get there.

[Lillian J]

I don't see it as a problem. My son used to put Winnie the Pooh and our home videos into the VCR and watch them when he was that age - sometimes every day. It wasn't a big deal and never became one - he didn't grow particularly interested in TV, except for a period in later years when he watched old reruns of Get Smart, Dragnet, and Mary Tyler Moore every evening on Nickelodeon. And one month he watched a bunch of old LooneyTune type cartoons for hours at a time, dissected and analyzed the way they were made, and then dropped them forever. I think it can get kind of weird around the house when parents make a big fuss about TV - or at least that's what I've seen. Lillian

[4evermom]

I think it is much better for kids that age to see the same thing over and over again than to have adults try to give them variety when they are not asking for it. Repetition is very valuable for young kids and reassuring to them.

[Lillian J]

Originally Posted by 4evermom

I think it is much better for kids that age to see the same thing over and over again than to have adults try to give them variety when they are not asking for it. Repetition is very valuable for young kids and reassuring to them.

I remember one grey, cloudy day when we were out on a drive and my little one in his car seat gazed at the sky through the car window and said, "Tut, tut - it looks like rain." I was absolutely astonished - couldn't imagine where in the world that came from. Later realized it was in a scene he'd watched again and again in that Winnie the Pooh video. Lillian

[UnschoolnMa]

That doesn't sound like a problem at all, IMO. I know it's hard not to panic though. My Dd watched "Oliver and Company" every day for awhile when she was a little one, and then later "Bring it On", and anything by Tim Burton over and over again.

[Citymomx3]

My oldest dd (now almost 14) went through that too at that age. She would watch a single tape every day for a month or 2. For her it was the Disney movie tapes. Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Alice in Wonderland, and Little Mermaid. - then all over again - and again. I thought it was great. It stopped right around the time she started school at 4 years old. :

[ColwynsMommy]

If she's just watching one video a day, I really wouldn't worry about it.

My kids are the same way about watching movies over and over again. For the past month it's been A Knight's Tale. I'm amazed with the stuff Colwyn picks up from that movie.. it's too cute. They also watch Thomas while I take a shower, and lately Colwyn's been saying things like "Lachlann is very cross!" or "He's being cheeky!" :

[bwylde]

Only once a day :. We've gone through phases where the kids will watch a movie up to three times a day. They ask why we don't have cable any more but I kind of agree with the repetition theory above.

Right now I endure about 12 hours of Caillou a day. Not just the videos but my two kids acting them out. We borrow them from the library and the kids have every single one memorized and after they have studied them, they act them out. I can't tell you how many times I've come running when DD cries out "MOMMY!!" (for the record, I swore my kids would NEVER watch Caillou, but now DS is even interested in learning french since some of the videos and most of the books are in french).

Oh, and I say, don't worry about . DS goes in and out of that phase often.

[UUMom]

I also think the one thing is fine...even if everyday. I am not a huge fan of toddlers watching tons of TV (I think Jane Healy's work is thought-provoking). However, I don't think there is anything wrong with a small amount of repetitive dvd-watching. I think there is something extremely satisifying to a small child to be able to 'conquer' something-- routine and stability, predictable outcome etc., are things many toddlers find comforting. I think a movie can serve that sort of purpose. I would not worry about it for a second.

[MamabearTo4]

Caillou is blocked from this house. I've never heard a cartoon character be so whiny and pouty EVER! He's a little wuss...

Am I gunna get flamed for that?

We recently got digital cable and my 11yo can be found glued to the Science channel, History, National Geographic, etc.

suddenly nak...

i actually got the cable only because i had to have it to get the recording device to record all of the neato programming on pbs in the middle of the night!

[mommy2abigail]

Just wanted to thank you all for your replies. Yesterday she asked to watch it, and turned it off, on her own after 20 minutes. This morning the same thing after 15 minutes. Maybe she's finally getting bored!: This has been the hardest thing for me to get over in my RU parenting journey (the short journey that it's been so far!) It's reassuring to hear your responses and to know other kids have gone through the repeatative video watching phase too! Thanks again!

[cheery]

Repetitive watching doesn't bother me at all (it bothers dh though, he doesnt stop it, he mutters about it )

But I do limit quantity of watching.

Or, more honestly, explain that your ears and brain need a rest

yes, I agree! For one thing, we dont watch in the morning becuse "our eyes need to wake up and can't handle screens right away." and so on.

[Baby Makes 4]

My 2 year old is watching Bluepalooza for the one billionth time right now so I know where you are coming from. On the other hand, he is very speech delayed and I swear he has learned more words/sounds from Blue in the last few days than I have been able to teach him in the last month.

[MidwifeErika]

It is such a normal phase. My oldest watched "Toy Story" every single day for what feels like forever... probably about 6 months though. My middle child was "RV" everyday for about 6 months (and he is watching it right now again). They do eventually outgrow it. Last winter my oldest was obscessed with watching tv. That is all she wanted to do. Now she really isn't all that into it, she watches some movies or some PBS, but she can take it or leave it much more than last year.

[Lillian J]

Seems to me that the ones most obsessed with TV are those who've had it made into a forbidden fruit - just like so many other things.

It can be a drug, for sure, and I never had any qualms about saying "Okay, time to move on..." when I saw that it was crossing over into that realm - although I do think those decompressing from school, on the other hand, do often need some of that anyway. - Lillian

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by MamabearTo4

Caillou is blocked from this house. I've never heard a cartoon character be so whiny and pouty EVER! He's a little wuss...

Am I gunna get flamed for that?

I think it's because he's French.

[dillonandmarasmom]

OP, I can relate to some degree. We were tv free long ago, but just decided it wasn't for the right reasons. When our DS was about 2, he began to watch some PBS. Now that DS is 4.5 and dd is 2.5, they both enjoy PBS on occasion (we don't have cable), but really love good movies, especially the Hayao Miyazaki creations with storylines that actually allow characters to develop, make mistakes, be real. DH and I enjoy them as well, so they are watched repetitively around here.
I don't worry about the tv being on "too much". I am more concerned about the content that is on. DH and I are PBS-lovers, so we rarely change to anything else ourselves. We try to keep commercial tv at a distance. That's our big ick.

[bwylde]

Originally Posted by MamabearTo4

Caillou is blocked from this house. I've never heard a cartoon character be so whiny and pouty EVER! He's a little wuss...

Am I gunna get flamed for that?

Nah, I was the same way before the kids discovered him (I let them pick what they want at the library). I told DH one day that after I had kids I didn't think he was so bad (DD is an extreeeeemly sensitive little one. She cries if you look at her the wrong way but then I can be the same way ). I know it will pass. Before this it was SpongeBob, before that it was Barney, before that Baby Einstein, ect... Usually when they get tired of something they never watch it again, which makes the waiting worth it