Is this too punitive for 16 month old?

[dovey]

I have a 3 year old son and a 16 month old daughter. We read a lot at our house. It's very important to my son to have stories read to him, and it's a wonderful part of our relationship. My daughter is recently caught the reading bug, and she is passionate about being read to as well. But her interest level is obviously different than that of my son's. She likes the pictures rather than the stories. She likes to flip back and forth through the book looking at the different pictures, not necessarily in order. This totally frusterates my son who wants to hear the story.

Usually I try to make the book go in a general forward progression, talking about the pictures and also telling the story - sort of a middle ground so that both babes can enjoy it. But recently, my daughter has started getting really mad when she can't flip backwards in the book - screaming, trying to force the pages backward, generally making it impossible to read together.

Last night, I got fed up and I shut the book and put it down. I told her very firmly that I wouldn't read unless she stopped screaming and hitting the book. It totally worked. She stopped being so disruptive. But I really don't want to start giving my 16 month old ultimatums. Do you think my method is okay? Any suggestions of how I could have handled this differently? I would like to be able to continue reading to the two kids together.

[bettysmom]

I really understand that you were trying to help your son who was frustrated, and that you'd like to read to both kids at once. But your DS and DD are at wayyyyy different points developmentally, and while your DS enjoys the linear progression of the story, perhaps your DD really needs this time to flip through however she wants, as long as she's not destroying the book. Personally, I'd be hesitant to impose too soon that there's one proper way to read/be read to, since you really want to establish with DD that reading is fun and not a chore. I wonder if you could manage it so DS plays with something else while DD flips around in the book, and then you read to them when she's done? Or maybe DD flips around with one book while you and DS read a different book? Or, for now, you read one-on-one with DS (which he may enjoy anyway) until DD is at the point where she can read in a manner that's less frustrating to him?

But what do I know? I only have one!

[mommy2abigail]

I think so. She's really little. My 2.5 year old book worm still likes to flip the pages faster than I'm reading sometimes. It's hard, but I don't say anything, just let her do what she wants. I would probably give the little one her own book and read a different one to the 3 year old, while still interjecting a few words at the little ones pictures.

[Calidris]

Seems a bit hard on the little one, can you maybe give her a separate book to flip about in? Perhaps one with a similar theme, so the story is still relevant to the pictures she is looking at (like maybe a board book version of the same story if you have it?).

[JamieCatheryn]

16 month olds don't really understand punishment. Changing the situation works though. So - book behavior not ok, then no book, is just fine if you aren't mean about it and give an alternative instead.