Do contact sports fuel or channel aggression

[Iris' Mom]

What do you think? Do you think that getting kids involved in contact sports or martial arts helps them channel their aggression in a more socially accepted manner, or encourages them to believe that aggression is okay.

My son is very physical and pretty aggressive -- not mean or bullyish, just a lot of rough and tumble, playfighting, tackling, etc. I really don't like it, and I've been giving a lot of thought to how to handle it.

I just can't decide. Nothing I've tried has squelched it. I signed him up for karate to try to channel it, and I'm not sure it's helping. When the white belts do sparring, you can see their little wheels turning -- "But DP says it's not okay to hit. . . Am I going to get in trouble? Will someone get hurt? Will it be me" Not my son; he has no qualms about it at all, even when he's matched with a black belt. He says "Don't worry, mom, I'm tough enough."

[RainCoastMama]

I'd say yes to both, if that makes any sense.

I did martial arts for a decade with different age groups all around me and saw the positive (rough 'n tumble boys get it out of their system on a punching bag, and learn to reign themselves in as per the MA philosophy), OTOH I've also seen it spawn aggression - usually in the pre-teen and teenage grouping where hormones start pumping away. The boys in this age group seemed to love talking about their 'street fights' and how people in school challenge them if they know they're doing MA. I'd say it really depended on the kid. If I had to choose, I'd put my son in a MA as opposed to a contact sport as a MA actually teaches things like respect and self-discipline.

[Tigerchild]

I think it's highly dependent on the teacher.

My boys both begged to do a t-ball class this year. I was extremely reluctant, because I'd pulled my daughter out of a class the year before because the adults in charge were hypercompetative and seemed to be pushing the little kids towards it--when my DD would come home she'd be super strung out and very aggressive. But I'm glad I gave the boys a chance, their "coach" is very low key, makes it fun for the kids, runs them hard--high energy, but directed at getting it out and having fun safely while doing it, and they're a lot *calmer* after class.

I have also seen very good and very bad martial arts teachers.

So I think it's not so much picking a sport, but finding out where your kid's interest is and then knowing that you might have to shop around for an instructor.

[TheTruth]

Truly can anything channel our core instincts?