tantrums when out

[justice'smom]

I am about to lose my mind here. My 17 mo son has a tantrum everywhere we go. It has gotten to the point where I feel like we just shouldn't go anywhere anymore. Example: we just got home from a quick run to the grocery store. Since all the tantruming I don't take them anymore, but didn't have a choice today. Anyway, so my lo was in the car part of the cart with big brother. They were fighting here and there and my 17 mo just started screaming his head off. Just a few days ago it was the library. We did story time and that worked out fine, but then trying to get books was a mess. I know he wants to be out of the stroller and maybe that is the problem, but if I let him out he will throw all the books on the floor and run around like a crazy man. I usually do snacks, but even that is not working anymore. He is also starting to fight me putting him in his carseat. It all sounds like he doesn't like being tyed down, but what am I supposed to do? : I am new to all this gentle discipline and really hope there is some sort of solution.

[nichole]

To have good behavior when we go places, I only have one window of opportunity: go right after breakfast and I have to be home for lunch and naps. So maybe at most from 9:30am to 11:30am. That is if it is somewhere close and he won't fall asleep in the car on the way home. He is in a good mood after his nap but by then his no-napping brother is overtired and wild.

We usually have time for storytime or pick out books, not both. I usually have time for a medium sized grocery list, but not too long. Sometimes I leave one home with a caregiver and go shopping with the other one to make it easier.

We have to balance our outings between errands and social outings. Sometimes I can tell they are tired and we just have to stay home and eat peanut butter sandwiches for dinner!

I will be glad when this phase is over b/c it makes it hard to get errands done and I feel lonely staying home all the time. On the other hand, it is saving me lots of money, and the embarrassing tantrums occur less.

But all kids have tantrums so try to keep your cool and not be embarrassed. I try to leave as soon as I see one coming b/c I know it isn't going to get better. I am getting better at leaving before it gets to that frustration level for them. I read somewhere that it helps to go to a bathroom or your car b/c your embarrassment will just fuel the frustration.

[mommy2abigail]

Hmmm, could he be tired, hungry, overstimulated, bored? Those are the things I look at when dd is not being herself. If I can prevent those things from happening, we are good to go. For us that mean, getting out after breakfast. Mornings are great for dd, afternoons, not so much. I also have more energy and patience in the morning, so that helps me be creative and fun. I also pack snacks and water. No matter where we go. The snacks are things she can eat herself, so it's easier for her to do it. I know that for dd anyway, the mall and other brightly lit areas can be overstimulating and harsh. I try to make those trips as quick as possible. Not being able to run around, yell or whatever is restricting, especially for a little one. It's hard to forgo the things I once enjoyed doing, but I know it's for a short time and then she will be better able to handle it. HTH