Fart vs Toot & Butt vs Bum

[<~*MamaRose*~>]

So this seems to be an issue in my little neck of the woods! I don't like fart & butt so I have taught my son to use bum & toot. When we're out and about visiting or even just playing in the neighborhood I remind DS of the words we use when starts repeating the other words. I don't make a huge scene or anything I just politely remind him of the words, end of story.
Well it seems others have issues with me not "liking" fart or butt and either flat out challenge me on it or laugh and say there's nothing wrong with butt & fart and continue to use them when interacting with ds. Why:? Why would they do that! It's not a huge thing that I have a preference so why upset me and confuse ds!

[mammal_mama]

I think it's fine for you to have your preferences!

I, on the other hand, find "toot" rather annoying and would prefer to straight up say "fart" or even "pass gas." I object to "cut the cheese" because I like cheese. Now, we call our bottoms, "bottom" or "butt." But I've certainly got no objection to "bum." "Tush" and "tushie," however, kind of gross me out; I'm not sure why.

I just re-read your post. You're saying that around other moms and kids, if you hear another mom or child say, "butt" or "fart" -- right in front of them you remind your son, "We say 'bum' and 'toot'"? I'm sorry, that does seem a little funny to me.

What if the other moms, upon hearing you or your son say "bum" or "toot," jumped in to remind their kids, "We say 'butt' and 'fart.'" Wouldn't you kind of about that? Actually, that's probably exactly what I'd do if I heard one of my friends doing what you're doing.

Now, of course I wouldn't challenge you about your preferences, and I certainly wouldn't deliberately use the other words in conversations with your child: I agree that that's rude. But I WOULD probably do exactly what you're doing with your son -- reminding my child of the "correct" words, just to tease you. I'm evil like that.

Who knows? Maybe your friends don't like you using words like "toot" and "bum" around their impressionable children. In conversations with their children, do you use the words their moms prefer, or do you use your own words?

[karlugato]

My mil has told my 3yo son that fart is a bad word. Now if I say fart he will very loudly correct me and say that the "right" word is toot. I don't care what words the kids use regarding that but if someone didn't want certain words said around their kids I wouldn't say them.

Lisa

[<~*MamaRose*~>]

Originally Posted by mammal_mama

I just re-read your post. You're saying that around other moms and kids, if you hear another mom or child say, "butt" or "fart" -- right in front of them you remind your son, "We say 'bum' and 'toot'"? I'm sorry, that does seem a little funny to me.

OMG, I'll edit my post to clarify if that's how I'm coming across!!! I only gently correct my son when he repeats his friends or cousins when they say fart or butt. And no I have not changed *my* words to what others are using because none of them have said that *my* word choices bother them but that they feel they are "just silly".

[mammal_mama]

Originally Posted by <~*MamaRose*~>

I only gently correct my son when he repeats his friends or cousins when they say fart or butt.

Oh, I'm sorry I misunderstood! I thought you were making the corrections whenever you heard someone else say the words you didn't like, which could indirectly come across as correcting the other person. Talking with your son when HE says the words is a whole different matter, and is no one else's business.

[dubfam]

I think it is rude for them to intentionally use the words with your son when you have explained how you feel.

I personally prefer Bum over Butt...and I actually have to at myself about this because it doesn't even make sense to me!

But for some reason Butt sounds more crass than Bum IMO...even though it is practically the same word

[BusyMommy]

I think it's a minor skirmish in the bigger battleground of parenting.

My kids clearly know that there are words we cannot use in public b/c some people find them offensive. I truly do not care what words they use at home. We talk about how sensitive some people are and yes, they, giggle when they hear "naughty" words in public.

I must admit my hang-ups are more along the lines of "please, may I, thank-you, etc" and some people would totally disagree w/those even.

Good luck!

[<~*MamaRose*~>]

Originally Posted by BusyMommy

I must admit my hang-ups are more along the lines of "please, may I, thank-you, etc" and some people would totally disagree w/those even.

I'm very into "please, may I, thank you and pardon". When someone else's child is asking you something do you correct them?
I admit I have been guilty of correcting in those instances. When a child says "what" to me I can't help but correct it to "pardon". The same goes for "can I have" or "get me" will get a "may I have..." response from me BUT I will still get them or do what ever was needed, I just gently provide the manners.

[mothragirl]

i don't think i could say "'bum" or " toot" with a straight face, but i have a terrible mouth

[<~*MamaRose*~>]

Originally Posted by dubfam

But for some reason Butt sounds more crass than Bum IMO...even though it is practically the same word

One Sunday supper (nice dinner conversation I know) my whole family was having a hilarious convo about what was worse sounding~ butt, bum, ass or arse.

In the end nobody really agreed as to what was the worst!

[aprildawn]

My mom doesn't like butt, fart, or pee. She thinks they're crass. I grew up not saying those words, at least around my mom.

Now I teach my kids bum or bottom, and toot, and potty or tinkle for pee. Tinkle sounds pretty stupid, so I'm not sure why I started using it. But it stuck! So, now it's too late!!

My MIL says butt and pee, though. She says it when my girls are with her. I thought about asking her to refrain from using those words, but I just haven't. They spend a lot of time with her, but they haven't really picked up using those words regularly. They do sometimes, though.

[BusyMommy]

Originally Posted by <~*MamaRose*~>

I'm very into "please, may I, thank you and pardon". When someone else's child is asking you something do you correct them?

At the risk of facing the wrath of their parents? No way! Seriously, parenting is tough. I've lost friends over it. No, I just have honest conversations w/my kids and I actually think they "get" it.

[BetsyS]

Originally Posted by <~*MamaRose*~>

I'm very into "please, may I, thank you and pardon". When someone else's child is asking you something do you correct them?
I admit I have been guilty of correcting in those instances. When a child says "what" to me I can't help but correct it to "pardon".

I had to reread your post several times to even figure out what "pardon" would mean in this instance. I grew up saying, "Sir?" or "Ma'am?"

[delphiniumpansy]

I grew up calling it a bottom and #1 or #2. With dd, we say butt and pee and poop and fart. Dh has trained her to analyze her poops. If they are marbles, that means she has not been eating enough fiber. If they are mushy, too much cheese. If it is a big turd, that is good. I cannot have these conversations with dd. Not my style. But, it is kinda funny.

As for pardon, I still do not know how to use that in conversation and say "what?" I think this all is probably regional, cultural, and family oriented. KWIM?

It is pretty funny to read about, though. I don't think I could say "toot" without laughing. That is the sound my dd's recorder makes and the Wiggles sing about it. "Toot toot, chugga chugga, big red car!"

And, in my vernacular, a bum is a person who is not working and asking for a handout.

[kalisis]

My family always used boontah for fart and I always thought it was gross. But now that I have kids, I actually can't stand the word fart and so, have taught DS boontah. We don't use butt, but we do use bum, hiney, rear, etc.

Do I correct DS when he starts picking up words I don't like? Yes. I remind him of the words mommy likes - we talk about it in a preferences sort of way. Other mommies don't mind such and such a word and it's not necessarily bad, but his mommy prefers x word and so please use that word instead.

He seems pretty open to it.

[Jessy1019]

I think people just get used to their own words and have a hard time changing those habits to fit with what someone else prefers.

We use butt/ass/bottom/rear interchangeably over here, and dd says both fart and toot (her dad and I only say fart, we hate toot, but her cousin uses it -- BIL and SIL don't like fart). When I'm interacting with other people's kids, I generally use whatever comes to mind first. If I knew they had a specific objection to a certain word, I would try to avoid it, but honestly . . . old habits die hard. I don't think bathroom language (or any language that's not racist/homophobic/misogynistic in nature) is worth getting into a tizzy over.

[LilMama23]

I think people should use what they feel comfortable with - end of story. We use bum and butt & fart and toot interchangeably in our house.

[DisplacedYooper]

We use butt and bottom, but only toot (not fart, which grosses me out for some reason). I grew up calling pee and poop tinkle and bm, and remember being teased because I didn't know what poop was... We use pee and poop in our house!

[angelpie545]

I honestly don't see what the big deal is-My kids use fart and butt. I figure number one they aren't swear words, and number two kids are most likely going to learn them anyway. In the wide world of parenting, they are some battles that just aren't worth fighting, and this is, IMO, is one of them. :

[jennnk]

In our house, conversation often goes like this:
Andy, nearly 2: Mama, I fart.
Me: Can you say "excuse me?" We say "excuse me" when we fart.
Andy: too-sees
Me: close enough.
-or-
Me: *farts*
Andy: Mama FART!
Me: Excuse me.
-or-
Me: Is that your butt I smell?
Andy: Check da butt!
Me: Ew! Poopy! Time for a new butt!
Andy: Clean da butt! Lay down! Wipe da butt!

so yeah, you could say we use fart & butt in this house. I don't see why not. It's all the same action, all the same body part, no matter what you call it. Is "toot" less offensive somehow, even when the odor clears a room and the person doesn't excuse him or herself? Is "bum" or "rear" better, even when you're cleaning it? This reminds me of my mom not wanting me to teach Andy "penis" and "scrotum" because they were too grown-up sounding. Sorry, Ma, that's what they're called. I don't call his feet anything but feet, I don't call his nose anything but nose, his butt is called butt and his penis is called penis.