October Open Chat - Page 5

[flapjack]

: and DON'T do it by PM, please?

I bought myself some spatone today, to see if the extra iron stops this "run over by a bus" feeling, or if it's a chronic condition like being pregnant with my fourth child. I'm ordering some motherwort, too, but the postal service over here is a joke. Skye and I spent the morning in knitters heaven (aka Cirencester- they have the wool market, dyers street, weavers lane, sheep street, etc.) shopping for birthdays and it was nice to spend time focussing on other people. We popped into the museum to see the Mother Goddess figures and the Suleviae, and she was VERY impressed by the nusing toddlers attached to the goddesses, and spent a lot of time shouting "baby, baby BABy" very loudly, bless her

[nolonger]

DON'T shave Emmy's head! I did that to ds last time and it didn't help at all;the lice live on the scalp, not the hair itself, and even a bit of "five o'clock shadow" is enough for them.

Both times we had them, I did the OTC stuff until I ran out of money; it gave us some relief from the itching, but the lice always came back and we were more than ready to run to the hock shop with something we didn't really want to sell by the end of the week when it was "safe" to douse ourselves with insecticides again.

Ultimately, the only thing that worked was to manually remove the nits from the tiny kids who were too young for an oil pack and teach dd, age 6, to do the best she could for me.

Emmy's old enough that the oil pack should be safe for her, but please keep in mind that even though it is nontoxic, she will still be quite flammable and very slippery. There is a serious risk of falls.

You need to completely saturate the hair with olive oil until it is drippy, i.e., covering her head with a shower cap or plastic bag helps, but you'll still need to wrap that with a towel and give her lots of rags to catch the drips. She needs to leave it on all night to completely suffocate the nits. I'd recommend picking up some pretty scarfs before the treatment, because it will take several shampoos to completely get the oil out of her hair.

However, it will leave it in WONDERFUL condition.

Manually remove the nits after the oil pack. With some kinds of lice (the kind we had the second go round) you can comb them out, both with other kinds (the kind we had the first go round) you'll have to use your fingernails and go through eac strand of hair. It's very time consuming, but it can be nice mother-daughter bonding time. Maybe pick up a bunch of chick flicks to watch while you nitpick our have her read a long, involved novel out loud..

There's no harm in repeating the oil pack whenever she starts itching again, but the life cycle of the lice is about a week, i.e., if you miss a nit and the oil doesn't smother it, it will hatch about a week after the treatment.

I didn't have to repeat at all when I finally gave in and did the oil. I'm not saying it isn't miserable or that I didn't put it off as long as possible or that I'll have the sense not to go broke from "head crack" again the next go round, but it does work even after I'd tried everything else.

If olive oil is too expensive, any old cooking oil will do (I actually used mineral oil the first time because I didn't know how bad that can be for hair) and I've heard of others using mayonaisse or crisco.

A bit of tea tree oil in her final rinse is also supposed to help kill/repel them. They don't like lavendar, eucalyptus, or rosemary, either, but by the time I lose my faith in medical science, I can never afford much in the way of essential oils.

I do worry about the safety of insecticides, both for you and Emmy, but have no right to judge you for trying them first; the big problem is that they JUST DON'T WORK.

[smokeylo]

Hi everyone, sorry I've been a bit MIA lately. My laptop's in for repairs and school is busy busy busy. I feel like I'm never caught up.

After posting about my quiet baby, things picked up again and now I feel him several times a day. I had my first really big KICK on Tuesday, too. So all the worry was for naught and Helen was right! Big surprise .

I'm officially halfway done with this pregnancy, which seems insane to me!! When did this happen! Yet there's still so much that will happen -- the baby will grow so much, and I will get SO MUCH bigger.

We came up with a possible boy name, which is making me happy. I feel like we're ignoring our potential son, not having a name for him. We'll see if it sticks.

Anyone else not only totally horny, but really clingy to your DH/partner? I can't seem to get enough snuggles and touch.

My boobs are leaking a little bit, esp. at night. That was a surprise! It's not a lot but now I know I need to get on the ball finding some bras that fit (ugh) and getting some pads just in case. Yikes.

[flapjack]

I want to kill my DH. I've told myself (and him) that I'll make any decisions on Monday and I'm going to spend the weekend being the best wife I can be. I keep on reminding myself that it's the first two years of the SECOND child's life that's the hardest point in any relationship, but still

In happy news, we bought a big car : It's a VW sharan, 12 years old, very clean and does what we want it to.

[Jezzy]

Sorry Helen that you are going though a tough time.

Thanks for the advice noordinaryspider, I wasn't really going to shave her head. The doc was just trying to make light of the situation

[nolonger]

Originally Posted by smokeylo

Anyone else not only totally horny, but really clingy to your DH/partner? I can't seem to get enough snuggles and touch.
.

I don't have a partner and it's not like me to throw myself a bunch of pity parties about it, but the pregnancy hormones just do me in sometimes.



I completely relate to how you are feeling and hope dh is rising to the ocaission. One of the few times I remember dd and ds's father hitting me was when the hormones got to me during my pregnancy with dd and I came up and gave him a huge hug and told him I loved him. He snarled at me to stop babbling nonsense and that this wasn't what the marriage was about at all.

He was right. It was a marriage of convenience because my attorney thought that it might improve my chances in dd1's custody case (my motivation) and exy thought that it would throw people off the scent that he was gay (that much worked, anyway).

Pregnancy seems to be a very hard time for relationships and I have enough partnered friends to know that so I should be jumping up and down and smirking self-satisfiedly that I "beat the system".....so why aren't I?????????????

[ScarletBegonias]

Originally Posted by noordinaryspider

I don't have a partner and it's not like me to throw myself a bunch of pity parties about it, but the pregnancy hormones just do me in sometimes.



I completely relate to how you are feeling and hope dh is rising to the ocaission. One of the few times I remember dd and ds's father hitting me was when the hormones got to me during my pregnancy with dd and I came up and gave him a huge hug and told him I loved him. He snarled at me to stop babbling nonsense and that this wasn't what the marriage was about at all.

He was right. It was a marriage of convenience because my attorney thought that it might improve my chances in dd1's custody case (my motivation) and exy thought that it would throw people off the scent that he was gay (that much worked, anyway).

Pregnancy seems to be a very hard time for relationships and I have enough partnered friends to know that so I should be jumping up and down and smirking self-satisfiedly that I "beat the system".....so why aren't I?????????????

you said it mama............it's the hormones!

but i still think you need one of these

[ScarletBegonias]

well, my day at work started out with a call from dh telling me that dd has been throwing up all morning. :Puke she's still throwing up tonight. she's so hungry and can't understand why we won't feed her. she has no fever, her only symptom is puking after she eats. my brother (who lives with us) has the same bug, but for him it's coming out *ahem* both ends.

i wonder who's next at our house? this time of year brings my favorite weather, but along with it comes the cold/flu bugs. working in a health food store is no help either, because all the sickies are coming in to get supps and ingredients for soup!

[flapjack]

NOS, Scarlet, I was thinking a lot about this. I think the reason I'm finding it so hard is that I have a total stranger sharing my body space- I know he's there, I can feel him kicking but I don't have an emotional bond with this kiddo yet. So I have a very real, weird, physical intimacy with someone and I'm lacking the emotional intimacy with anyone. Plus all three kids are offering challenges of their own right now (my daughter uses WEE as a battle cry, as well as a request for potty. Every five minutes. And never EVER goes) and sometimes, I'd just like it if there was someone else on the planet who cared about what's going through my mind occasionally.

[Jezzy]

Originally Posted by flapjack

I'd just like it if there was someone else on the planet who cared about what's going through my mind occasionally.

I care!! I hope that you start feeling better soon......



to you too noordinaryspider!

[nausicaamom]

Helen and NOS

Not too much to say. I'm trying really hard to find toddler zen this morning. At least the weather is nice here.

[flapjack]

Toddler zen? Is that the one where you chant wee, choclate, coke, cake, cheese until mummy's brain bursts and covers the kitchen ceiling? Now I know why so many family homes have artex...

[ScarletBegonias]

dd is sick and it's nice : because she is all mellow and agreeable.

"spoon, oatmeal, purple, kitty, vitamin, PLEASE!":

[Gunter]

hey mamas,

i am sitting on my friend's couch nursing the beginning of a cold. they went on a walk to trader joe's and the park with dh and ezra this morning. we're having lots of fun exploring bellingham; what a great place to live. i am just fighting this sore throat/snotty nose thing today. great chance to catch up with you all!

helen- we just bought a VW van, too! it's a 1984 VW vanagon with a pop-up camper bed, sink and fridge and stove. we're camping out of it as we drive across the country this month. we had to buy a carseat, too...forward facing finally. little ez was barely 19 pounds when we left back in june. she loves being able to see out of the windows now.

so, i am just reading around mdc and "the last child in the woods". anyone else read that? so far, it's inspiring me to spend lots of times exploring the outdoors with ez. i am stoked to explore our little neighborhood back home more when we are back there. anyone else have fun outdoor idea with kids?

[nausicaamom]

Originally Posted by flapjack

Toddler zen? Is that the one where you chant wee, choclate, coke, cake, cheese until mummy's brain bursts and covers the kitchen ceiling? Now I know why so many family homes have artex...

It's the mantra, "This is just a phase ... he's not doing it just to piss me off ... be soft like water ..." until the urge to throttle passes. Baby-zen was hard, toddler zen is incredibly hard. I have to admit I'm not looking forward to having to do both at once.

Gunter - that is so cool on the VW van and the cross-country trip.

[nolonger]

Thanks, everybody; I didn't mean to one-up smokylo's post, just to empathize. I've had one solo pregnancy and two partnered ones so I really know that it's easier this way, I can just totally relate to the hormones making us clingier.

On the positive side, I'm such a hormonal mess that when I was going through the huge pile of unsorted clean and dirty fifteen-year-old son clothes on the floor today trying to fold them and find some fairly out-of-sight place to store them, all I could think of was how much I love him and how glad I am he's home after the months of hell when I didn't know where he was. I'm glad I found the damp ones before they mildewed and the house should smell much better now that I've washed off all that stale male funk, but I can't bring myself to feel any anger or resentment at having to spend my half-day off doing something he's perfectly capable of doing himself.

My little darlings really can do no wrong in my eyes....even though I'm perfectly aware of the fact that some of them aren't much younger than some of you!



Helen, I hope you get some time alone to focus on that belly boychild soon. I feel like I'm pretty well bonded with this one, but I still know what you mean about those "parasite" and "alien" feelings. This one is so much stronger than my others at this age and some of his/her movements just feel weird to me. It doesn't bother me so much that s/he might not look like me, but it creeps me out to think of how different s/he might look than my other kids, and they've had three different fathers!

Gunter, I'm so jealous of your adventure in a way. I had my turn in the early '80s before I had kids and I'll never forget it or regret it; it's always going to be a part of who I am.

[ScarletBegonias]

Gunter: sorry you're getting sick. i just got over a cold. i have to say i'm more than a little jealous you've been road trippin' for so long - that is so freaking cool! right on mama!

Helen: congrats on the new v-dub! a vw van of any kind is my dream vehicle. i still too feel like there's an alien in me. i actually (sad to say) get annoyed when the babe moves around so darn much. it's like i don't want to be reminded it's there. to be fair though, some days i love all the movement.

Heather: that's pretty cute! it seems like you're feeling a little cheerier. i'm sure the weather up there in eureka is messing with your moods too. the weather here in sac sure is messing with me. and ironically, it's my favorite time of year!:

[Jezzy]

It is starting to get pretty cold here and I was wondering if it is ok to go to the sauna? (probably not) I use to go a couple times a week before ttc. I just love the warmth. So..... anyone know if we are allowed or not?

[Teenytoona]

Jezzy I hear the danger in saunas is due to overheating. I imagine it would be ok if you didn't stay in too long? But I don't know for certain.

We were at my mom's house last night (DP and I and bro and SIL who are due the same day we are and my sis), talking about when my mom had us (my siblings and I were all born between 1974 and 1987). I call her "madre de muchos" seeing as she had 8 kids. I wanted to know how her birth went with my older sister, her first, seeing as I figured that would be a good guage for how mine might go. That was in '74, she went to the hospital, insisted she not be knocked out, but, she was out for the birth and doesn't remember a thing that happened! What a mess, I'd be livid! With me (her 2nd) she was at 43.5 weeks, and insisted she was having me, and they sent her home. She went in a few hours later and I was born in less than an hour (I think she said 20 mins), they gave her an epidural, and I came out before it took. She seemed to have lots of "too fast for medicine" experiences. With one of my brothers they were epiduraling her, and she protested because the baby was being born right then, she was going on about how someone needed to catch it, worried the baby would fall off the birthing table! Fortunately someone got there right in time (not sure what my dad was doing).

Here's the kicker though, when my youngest brother was born, my mom went into labor (broken water and all) 1.5 months early (very odd, because she was "late" with the rest of us). The hospital staff said they weren't sure but it might be twins, so, get this, they sent her, while in labor, to be x-rayed, to see how many babies were in there! x-rayed!! in labor! The technician said, "oh is this your first sweetie?" my moms said, "no it's 7th and maybe 8th" my brother was transverse, so they took him via c-section, with an icu team ready to wisk him away. He was born 1.5 months early at 5lbs 14 oz... they decided he was pretty healthy, and just incubated him.

That conversation was a REAL eye-opener as to how birth was, and to how I DON'T want thigns to go. Granted, fortunately they don't knock people out every time, but still. But also, it was interesting to me to know that my mom had a pretty easy go of it for most of her kids. Which is nice, I take after her in nearly every way thus far, so I suppose I won't be in labor for a week or so! ha! But lordy I cannot believe they 1. knocked her out when she insisted they not, and 2. x-rayed her to see the baby while in labor! Quite honestly I think I'd take u/s over x-ray any day of the week, if I had to choose, kwim?

We chose a CPM for our homebirth this weekend, and really I'm very excited! DP is too, he really seems to be getting into this, so I'm happy about that. Even my Gram is cool with it (of course she and most of her siblings were born at home too). Seems like things are looking ok here.

[ksera05]

can someone explain to me how my daughter with chronic lung disease is barely sick with a cold while I am miserable? : I mean don't get me wrong I'm very glad she's not sick and I would hate to be doing the 6x a day nebulizer "should we go to the ER" routine blah blah blah. It just doesn't make sense to me though! LOL

Teeny - YAY on the choosing a CPM!! I hope you have a wonderful home birth.