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"Lower Income Moms" October 2007 Support - Page 12

post #221 of 384
Quote:
Originally Posted by mum4boys View Post
Anyway the state needs to pay people a living wage so that they get qualified people to work for them in turn can help the people that need the help to get them back on their feet. Its a win win situation. I use to have numbers and pretty graphs too in the long run how much the state would save in 10 years and how much better off society would be.

:


You know if it was a private contracting business where the workers really did work on commission... alot more would get done.
post #222 of 384
Oh, Satori!! That is so horrible. Is there any possible way that you could get the school to just direct deposit it into your checking account (assuming you have one, of course)? Also, are you sure that the school is telling the truth about it already being mailed? My school kept saying "It's in the mail. It's in the mail. It's in the mail." ANd I found out they were just telling me that to shut me up. I did finally get mine but I went and picked it up. I hope you get it tomorrow!
post #223 of 384
omg omg omg...

My 9 yo dd will now be living with me full time. She hasn't lived here except for weekends since she was 4. (her dad went for custody and won, it was very very bitter... he is now divorcing again and things are unstable for her there. I told him she needed to be stable. He agreed she should live with me.) I wrote about it all here.

Wow. : I'm going to need tips to stretch food now!
post #224 of 384
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nature View Post
omg omg omg...

My 9 yo dd will now be living with me full time. She hasn't lived here except for weekends since she was 4. (her dad went for custody and won, it was very very bitter... he is now divorcing again and things are unstable for her there. I told him she needed to be stable. He agreed she should live with me.) I wrote about it all here.

Wow. : I'm going to need tips to stretch food now!
how wonderful!! congratulations!!!
post #225 of 384
Congrats Nature!! Will your ex be paying child support?
post #226 of 384
Thats really exciting Nature! Congratulations!!!
post #227 of 384
Thanks everyone!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by DBZ View Post
Congrats Nature!! Will your ex be paying child support?
We currently have a no support order from 2002. Because I'm on SSDI, I have always had TANF for her anyway because we have shared custody AND shared residential which isn't usually the case. Usually one parent has residential and the other one visitation. I have both. So basically, according to everything.. MaineCare, housing, TANF, etc.. its looked like she's been living here full time all her life. School is the only thing that has to be changed.

He offered to give me money every month. I told him that wasn't my goal and he knows that. I said for now, anything he can give will help and if I need extra things or something.. as long as he can remember not to chew my head off, I'll ask him for help then. And he said that was fine. To just come to him if I need something and let him know, he'd be happy to help. (Literally his income is way.. way.. WAY more than mine low income status. Lets just say, I'm in the lowest bracket possible. .. wait.. is low income even IN a bracket? And he's in the highest. He's not even middle income.. he's waaaay above that. Unfortunately he lives outside his means so he always feel broke.)

So right now, I think I'll just keep it the way it is. Because.. having my daughter is so much more important to me than money. I know it will be tight.. but I will find a way. I will make this work. And hopefully he'll be generous if I need it. I think he might have really grown up a bit in the past 5 years. He already said if he needs to write something out, or sign paperwork for her school.. or something to show I have her now, he'll do it. So I imagine in the future if I really wanted to ammend the court papers or needed to.. it would be ok. Just for the moment.. I don't want to rock the boat. Make sense?

He's already letting her bring all her things here and all her clothes. I told him I could buy new school clothes (which really... it would hurt me financially.. BUT. like I said.. I will find a way) and he said no need to do that. She has a ton of clothes there, and she can bring them here.

How much more could I ask for???!

I'm so incredibly shocked still..
post #228 of 384
That's wonderful news, Nature. I know change is hard, but you'll find a way to balance everything.
post #229 of 384
think i just need to say this out loud (well........)

My dd will be 11 tomorrow. She has been telling me for weeks that her father was going to have "the party" this year. So I didn't plan one. He didn't have "the party".

So, with NO money I have to pull together a party for this coming weekend.

I started school full time and am not working, my financial aid is out there somewhere......, the father is behind on child support, i am not 'eligible' for TANF, because the father is such a good daddy (@#*&^%), I HAVE NOTHING!!!!!.

I am going in for surgery on my shoulder, my car broke down, my partner lost his mind and left (med issue), my older dd is pregnant and mad at me.

I wrote a bad check. knowingly.

so, a sleepover, make yourown pizza (food stamps), dancing, pedicures, movies.

i'm sad and scared and overwhelmed.

and to top it all off I switched my thyroid meds and feel like a poopy mass of brainless slug. very motivated

can you make me feel better?

oh, and the pedicure thing! we don't actually own any nail polish because I think its poison and I can't afford the good stuff.

blah
post #230 of 384
Quote:
Originally Posted by ediesmom View Post
think i just need to say this out loud (well........)

My dd will be 11 tomorrow. She has been telling me for weeks that her father was going to have "the party" this year. So I didn't plan one. He didn't have "the party".

So, with NO money I have to pull together a party for this coming weekend.

I started school full time and am not working, my financial aid is out there somewhere......, the father is behind on child support, i am not 'eligible' for TANF, because the father is such a good daddy (@#*&^%), I HAVE NOTHING!!!!!.

I am going in for surgery on my shoulder, my car broke down, my partner lost his mind and left (med issue), my older dd is pregnant and mad at me.

I wrote a bad check. knowingly.

so, a sleepover, make yourown pizza (food stamps), dancing, pedicures, movies.

i'm sad and scared and overwhelmed.

and to top it all off I switched my thyroid meds and feel like a poopy mass of brainless slug. very motivated

can you make me feel better?

oh, and the pedicure thing! we don't actually own any nail polish because I think its poison and I can't afford the good stuff.

blah
No advice, just .
post #231 of 384
Ok, ediesmom, you can do this. Make-your-own pizza sounds good. Have you made your own crust before? www.hillbillyhousewife.com has some easy, cheap recipes and tips for making your own pizza. Making small, mini crusts would prob. be cheaper than buying english muffins or something, I think. Then, dancing is great. You could do where when you turn the music off, everybody freezes and anyone who doesn't is "out" which can be really fun because everyone's anticipating the music stopping and laughing nervously. You could do facials, instead of pedicures, with, like, oatmeal masks and slices of cucumber on their eyes. And for an eleven year old, who doesn't go to an actual spa ever, maybe a hand massage with just whatever lotion you have. They can do each other and have a spa night. And borrow movies from the library. For free.

You sound like everything's kind of ganging up on you at once. But you will get through it. Maybe your DD's impromptu party will be a chance for you to get involved and have fun and relax a bit too. I totally hear you on the TANF/financial aid/ child support issue. I hate how you cannot get TANF because you have a CS order, even if nothing is being paid on it! SO lame. Can you get an income deduction for your ex? I finally got one for mine. I think it took him not paying for 6 months straight before the DOR took him to court and the deduction order was set. Now at least I get something. (Still the CS min. for the state, but it helps.) Good luck with the party!
post #232 of 384
Satori & ediesmom -- : It really stinks how all the hard things seem to gang up on us at once huh?

Nature -- Congrats! How awesome. I can't even imagine how excited you must be. It's extra cool that your oldest will be around all the time to experience the new baby when it gets here too. Good luck...you'll definitly make it work out however you need too!
post #233 of 384
YES!!!! facials. I hadn't thought of that. I really hate poisoning children
It will be so cute............A bunch of 10 and 11 year olds with oatmeal masks on with cucumber slices on their eyes!!!
post #234 of 384
Quote:
Originally Posted by ediesmom View Post
think i just need to say this out loud (well........)

My dd will be 11 tomorrow. She has been telling me for weeks that her father was going to have "the party" this year. So I didn't plan one. He didn't have "the party".

So, with NO money I have to pull together a party for this coming weekend.

I started school full time and am not working, my financial aid is out there somewhere......, the father is behind on child support, i am not 'eligible' for TANF, because the father is such a good daddy (@#*&^%), I HAVE NOTHING!!!!!.

I am going in for surgery on my shoulder, my car broke down, my partner lost his mind and left (med issue), my older dd is pregnant and mad at me.

I wrote a bad check. knowingly.

so, a sleepover, make yourown pizza (food stamps), dancing, pedicures, movies.

i'm sad and scared and overwhelmed.

and to top it all off I switched my thyroid meds and feel like a poopy mass of brainless slug. very motivated

can you make me feel better?

oh, and the pedicure thing! we don't actually own any nail polish because I think its poison and I can't afford the good stuff.

blah





When it rains it pours. Hang in there.
post #235 of 384
Thank you everyone for the warm welcome!! It's so nice to be a part of this forum.

Today has been a good day in our house.

My DH got the job he interviewed for today!! I am just so excited - it's at a bit lower pay than his old job, but 40 hours a week, so that is wonderful!! His old job paid more per hour, but he was only getting in 20-30 hours a week - and then was laid off as the housing market is so slow in our area right now. He was so excited to get hired that he forgot to ask about the 'important' details: like benefits, how often he gets paid, when the next pay date is - you know, the things the wife/bill-payer wants to know He starts on Thursday - and his hours are great for us - 7:00 am to 3:30 pm - which leaves plenty of time in the later afternoons/evenings for either some side jobs (he often gets asked to do work on someone's house) or a part-time job.

Then, I received a PayPal payment from an advertiser for my website that I had almost given up on receiving - so that was great!! I can pay a few bills now which is definitely wonderful. And then I went to get the mail, which usually is just bills, and another advertiser sent us a 'thank you' gift, a huge tin of Mrs Fields goodies in a pumpkin cookie jar: cookies, brownies, fudge, tons of stuff - and I was craving chocolate so badly today, it was perfect timing!!

All in all a great day!!
post #236 of 384
ediesmom, good luck with the party. I feel for you. I really do. I can't stand having to do parties. I never know what to do and can't afford it. Sounds like you are geting some good ideas though.

Susan, sounds like something is looking up for you. That's great. I used to runa website and had to wait for advertiser money. Oh how I hated that wait.
post #237 of 384
That's awesome, Susan! How exciting to get surprise goodies in the mail!

That is sooo exciting about your daughter, Nature! Will your food stamps be increased if you report the addition to your household? I'm assuming you are familiar with the Hillbilly Housewife already? (Yes, I realize this is the second time I've posted about this web site today, but it has been a lifesaver to me with it's cheap, easy recipes!!)
post #238 of 384
I get my new job afterall! They called me today and told me they do have an opening on day shift, so I have to go in for orientation on Wednesday. I guess I'll be finishing my BA mostly online since I'll be working full-time, but that's not a problem. I'll be working 6:30 am to 2:30 pm, so I'll have the entire afternoon with my family.
post #239 of 384
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2Sweeties1Angel View Post
I get my new job afterall! They called me today and told me they do have an opening on day shift, so I have to go in for orientation on Wednesday. I guess I'll be finishing my BA mostly online since I'll be working full-time, but that's not a problem. I'll be working 6:30 am to 2:30 pm, so I'll have the entire afternoon with my family.
That's great! Congrats!
post #240 of 384

Add Another Struggling Mom to the List

Hi ladies, its unfortunate to see so many others in similar boats but its nice to know we aren't alone.
I am a SAHM with 3 boys 16,12,1 and a part time bonus girl 13.
My husband is a graduating Senior he will finally have his Masters in just under 17 months.

DS1 was born 7 weeks early and spent 8 days in NICU even with insurance that wiped out our savings then we had to buy a new car on top of it all. Oh and I went from working full time to staying home.

Needless to say things are tight and we have been creating more debt in order to just live. However Dh was just blessed with a great job in his field that will allow him to make a little more money and finish school unfortunately that means he will be away from home 3nights a week.

Another note on the bright side my homeschooling 16 year old started his first real job yesterday so he will become much less expensive.

Well I am heading off to my big day in town I get to hit the thrift stores
looking forward to getting to know you all
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