"Lower Income Moms" October 2007 Support - Page 14

[CaliMommie]

1. No-one is in the hospital
2. I washed my van today so it looks pretty
3. I *almost* have my classes for next semester figured out!


to everyone else who needs them. It's so good to know that I have you ladies as "friends" who will support me when I need it. Thank you all!

[Nature]

Originally Posted by mrskennedy

I understand where you're coming from... But the support isn't yours, it's your DD's. She deserves it, and you deserve to know it's there, when it's coming, and how much it will be. Maybe I watch too many court shows/custody battles, but not asking for/ordering support just sends off alarm bells for me.

Whatever you decide, all the best to you and DD!

My dd still does have money for her. I have always received TANF in her name for her. That is state child support.

I know it probably doesn't make sense to others but.. having my daughter here with me is far more important than collecting child support. I will find a way to make it work.

Besides, as long as my ex follows through with all this... I truelly believe he is in a better place and he will not hesitate to help out. We've already done the 10 years of hating each other thing.. its time for a change.

[mum4boys]

Originally Posted by mrskennedy

Oh yeah! And I just got a crazy-looking, crazy huge purse from DH's grandma... Which means I can get (read: steal) more TP if need be... But I've never had to... yet.

Originally Posted by mrskennedy

Satori, Heidi, and everyone else who needs them!!! Hi justmama... to you too!

Thanks

Originally Posted by CaliMommie

1. No-one is in the hospital
2. I washed my van today so it looks pretty
3. I *almost* have my classes for next semester figured out!

I am really on-egde this week and I think it is because Friday is the three year anniversary of my sister's death- and we still don't have a cause of death. I miss her so much!

to everyone else who needs them. It's so good to know that I have you ladies as "friends" who will support me when I need it. Thank you all!

YA on no hospital. I am sorry about your sister. How horrible for you that there is no cause of eath yet.

[mum4boys]

1. Grateful that we have running water and the damage was not bad to our house.

2. That ds is starting to feel better.

3. That I have a job that I can do from home.

[CaliMommie]

Forgot to quote!

Nature~
In my state if you recieve TANF for a child they require you to file a case with the Dept. of Child Support Services. Once the case is filed they go after the non-custodial parent (whichever parent the child isn't living with) for the *full* amount of the child support order. If there isn't onne, they file one. They then keep the child support payments and mail you $50/month. They also charge 10% interest on any past due child support, even if payments are being made. That was part of the reason I stopped getting TANF. I do understand how you feel, though. My ex doesn't pay child support, and although I *try* to get it from him I sometimes feel it isn't worth the headache & I don't want to have to rely on his money anyway! I'm sure you will figure everything out, I am glad that you are going to get to have your daughter with you

[CaliMommie]

Originally Posted by mum4boys

YA on no hospital. I am sorry about your sister. How horrible for you that there is no cause of death yet.

Thanks. I don't think we will ever have one. They investigated her fiancee (who I was very close to, thought of him like a brother), but his family is very wealthy & nothing ever came of it. I haven't seen my nephew (her son) since the funeral. He is 5 now.

[mum4boys]

Originally Posted by CaliMommie

Thanks. I don't think we will ever have one. They investigated her fiancee (who I was very close to, thought of him like a brother), but his family is very wealthy & nothing ever came of it. I haven't seen my nephew (her son) since the funeral. He is 5 now.

I am so very sorry. My husband lost his brother 18 years ago yesterday. My son was born 17 years ago yesterday. Anyway, he still does not have any answer and has never gotten to see his nephew again. He was only 2 months old when his died died and he is now 18.

[CaliMommie]

Originally Posted by mum4boys

I am so very sorry. My husband lost his brother 18 years ago yesterday. My son was born 17 years ago yesterday. Anyway, he still does not have any answer and has never gotten to see his nephew again. He was only 2 months old when his died died and he is now 18.

I am so sorry. How sad for your husband (and you). My nephew is living with my sister's fiancee (his dad).

[Aura_Kitten]

for everyone...




and especially for Cali ...


I think maybe we're all coming up on that time of year that's so rough for those of us who have lost people we've loved..........

[Satori]

Originally Posted by Nature

We currently have a no support order from 2002. Because I'm on SSDI, I have always had TANF for her anyway because we have shared custody AND shared residential which isn't usually the case. Usually one parent has residential and the other one visitation. I have both. So basically, according to everything.. MaineCare, housing, TANF, etc.. its looked like she's been living here full time all her life. School is the only thing that has to be changed.

I just now caught this, not pointing a finger just wondering, in CA collecting TANF/AFDC for a child who is not living in your home full time (or at least the majority of the time) is considered fraud. If your caught you lose your benefits, have to pay back what ever you received and there's a chance of jail time if I remember right. I'd really really urge you to check out your state laws so this doesn't come and bite in you in the butt. Its certainly not something you'd want to be openly admitting on a msg board, especially one like MDC is which known for mama's getting uppity and reporting people when they have your real name/address.

[Nature]

Originally Posted by Satori

I just now caught this, not pointing a finger just wondering, in CA collecting TANF/AFDC for a child who is not living in your home full time (or at least the majority of the time) is considered fraud. If your caught you lose your benefits, have to pay back what ever you received and there's a chance of jail time if I remember right. I'd really really urge you to check out your state laws so this doesn't come and bite in you in the butt. Its certainly not something you'd want to be openly admitting on a msg board, especially one like MDC is which known for mama's getting uppity and reporting people when they have your real name/address.

We have SHARED rights and responsiblities and SHARED residential. I have always had her 50% of the time.

Because I am on SSDI, I am required by law to collect TANF for her because my other children also have TANF. (and their father and I are married. They get TANF because he is also on SSDI)

My ex nor I are listed as the custodial parent, because legally we are both considered custodial. Her changing and moving in with me full time doesn't change our custody at all.

I am not engaging in any sort of fraud. We agreed to a no child support order in court 5 years ago because he had plenty of money, and I didn't have any or a job. I was actually awaiting a hearing from social security.

However, I didn't have any other children then and didn't realize that I'd automatically recieve TANF for them. (I thought it was only for collecting support money from absent parents.. and my dh is not absent.) The rules are different if you're on SSDI. And legally I couldn't not collect for her because I collect for my others, and she is here half the time. She's also always been listed on my housing, Mainecare, etc.. and all those require that the child be with you 50% of the time as well.

It all sounds pretty confusing, but I assure you.. I didn't even sign her up for it. DHS did themselves and explained why. Its one of those legal loopholes I guess. But yanno.. we're not talking about Megabucks here. I get about $120 a month per child. Not a whole lot.

[motherearthdancer]

We are probably on the border of lower income, but we tend to live beyond our means. We just bought a brand new car because we had another baby and the only vehicle we had only fit the 3 of us. I would take public transit or walk everywhere. My husband insisted on getting a hybrid if we had to get a new car so when baby came along that is what we got. We don't have good credit so our payments are huge.

I did all my first sons diapers by hand. We couldn't afford cable or internet back then. Now we have both, but we are all still in a one bedroom apartment in the affordable area of town. My husband has a decent, well paying job. I know we could probably do more if we give up the cable and internet again, but its difficult because I like to use the internet to look for work from home job oppertunities (haven't had any luck yet on legit jobs) and my 3 year old loves the sprout channel.

I'm trying to eat healthier. We just got off WIC and are transitioning off of food stamps, but organic food is so much more expensive than the regular cheap stuff. We try to be as earth friendly as possible, but every month has been a stretch. Last I checked we were down to our last $4.00 in our account and we are behind on bills since I stopped working when I had baby #2.

Just wanted to say hi and introduce myself.

[Aura_Kitten]

Major kudos for washing dipes by hand, mama.

[Sonnenwende]

Originally Posted by motherearthdancer

I know we could probably do more if we give up the cable and internet again, but its difficult because I like to use the internet to look for work from home job oppertunities (haven't had any luck yet on legit jobs) and my 3 year old loves the sprout channel.

I am not sure what you are paying for cable TV, but all providers offer a barebones limited basic package for $7-$10 a month. You will have to listen to their nonsense for a bit as they try to sell you $30 or $40 a month packages as their lowest, but it is exactly that, nonsense.

[earthgirl]

OK 3 things:

1) My good friend snagged a bunch of hand me down clothes from her neighbor for DD. Now we should have enough clothes to get through winter.
2) My DH's family paid for our airfare to fly home for Thanksgiving.
3) Even though I wish it were cooler, the warmer weather we've been having means I don't have to run the heat.

[JesseMomme]

Welcome justmama!

Originally Posted by motherearthdancer

We are probably on the border of lower income, but we tend to live beyond our means.

Just wanted to say hi and introduce myself.

Welcome!

Originally Posted by Aura_Kitten

Major kudos for washing dipes by hand, mama.

Yeah When my mom told me she did that when I was a baby, I about fell over : I couldn't imagine washing by hand, even though I was lugging dirty dipe laundry every where (mom's house, laundrymat, on site laundry building) I couldn't imagine trying to get those suckers clean without a machine. Throughout all the moving we have done since I fought and fought and dug in my heels to hang onto my washer/dryer

Originally Posted by Satori

, especially one like MDC is which known for mama's getting uppity and reporting people when they have your real name/address.

Really? (pm me!)

Three things I am grateful for right now:
1. Dh has managed to get his old ass all the way through basic training
2. And got paid for it, allowing me to catch up keep the lights (and now heat) on, have a phone/internet, and I even got to buy Dd a birthday present for her 3rd birthday, which is like the first birthday present I have bought in I-don't-know-when. PHEW!
3. That my WIC lady is so darn nice!! My last WIC lady was very sweet and nice and I thought I'd never encounter another. I lucked out!

eta: Oh, about cable, I know of several people who just have a barebones type package. I just decided to skip cable, the kids (except my 3 yo) know how to use the computer and spend enough time at cartoonnetwork.com playing all the games and whatnot. I'm way too far away from the nearest video store, but close to the library where it's free (except for me b/c I am ALWAYS returning them late

[ian'smommaya]

thats good advice there sartori. i think thats why some mamas have started yahoo groups.

[Nature]

I'm having trouble figuring out what everyone thinks I'm doing wrong? : The state and everyone knows my finances. Being on SSDI means all that is an open book to them.



Oh well. I'm clearly confused as to what other people have an issue with.

[mommy2maya]

Originally Posted by Sonnenwende

I am not sure what you are paying for cable TV, but all providers offer a barebones limited basic package for $7-$10 a month. You will have to listen to their nonsense for a bit as they try to sell you $30 or $40 a month packages as their lowest, but it is exactly that, nonsense.

The $7-10 package is usually your local channels, which I don't see why anyone would pay for those?

[JesseMomme]

Originally Posted by Nature

I'm having trouble figuring out what everyone thinks I'm doing wrong? : The state and everyone knows my finances. Being on SSDI means all that is an open book to them.



Oh well. I'm clearly confused as to what other people have an issue with.

Probably things are different from state to state, so what might be a rule in one state may not exist in another. If you know your ducks are in a row, no need to explain

Originally Posted by mommy2maya

The $7-10 package is usually your local channels, which I don't see why anyone would pay for those?

Well, for us, it's a matter of minding the staticky rabbit ears or not....I don't mind. I think if one is getting it through the cable wire, the picture would be clear.