Things I wish I had said

[candyapplez]

"Wow having the baby at home? Not leaving yourself many options are you?"


What I should have said
The option to have a beautiful birth where my child will not come into the world drugged, where he can "swim" his way into a tub much like he swims in the womb. Where the first people he sees will have lasting relationships with him and who genuinely care about him. Where the first room he sees will be familar to his childhood and where the first bed he sleeps in will be his parents":

Damn why do I never think of these things on the spot. Yuma can you bottle your wit?

Anyone else wish they had said something when something/anything was said to you?

[swimswamswum]

I'm pretty blunt these days. I think I would say something like, well, I don't feel like being sliced open and drugged, so we thought we would just stay home (or in my case, go to the birth center where there are no drugs/ sections).

[jessitron]

What a dumb response. Home birth doesn't eliminate any options. We can always choose to go to the hospital during labor.

[kleines]

I am like you, I think of what I *should* have said after the fact! It is just too bad people have to say things that are so dumb you NEED to say something witty!

[2bluefish]

Not really - I *always* have the option of going to the hospital. But once you are checked in, you're trapped there - it's very hard to get out.

[naismama]

I agree with a PP--what a stupid response!! I have loved some of the responses I've gotten to news of my homebirth. Yesterday, I got, "Oh, what an adventure!" People around here love to ask "what hospital are you having the baby at?" Because I live in a nice area with a "rich woman's" hospital. People come from all over the valley to have their babies there because it's supposed to be "like a spa." They seem pretty c-section happy there, if you ask me. I had dd there and was pressured to have a C because baby was too big, pelvis was too small, etc. : This time we are planning a homebirth, and I feel as though we will have SO MANY MORE options!!!

It's easy to kick yourself over what you wish you would have said (I do it all the time), but remember you don't owe anyone any explanations about what you have chosen for yourself, your baby, and your family!

[durafemina]

people are so annoying!

Where else do you have as many options as in your very own home???

or do they wake up in the morning in their own beds and think to themselves "yikes! I'm trapped!"

:

[mittendrin]

Originally Posted by candyapplez

"Wow having the baby at home? Not leaving yourself many options are you?"

Damn right. How could you, yes! Not having the option of getting drugged til you don't know which state you're in any more, not having the option of them slicing you open when you don't feel like pushing and not having the option of them cutting your hoo-ha and sewing it back up again. Not being able to decide who gets to first spread their sickies all over you newborn, harass you about shots and baths and artificial nipples. You clearly are lacking option, lady.

Makes me think of why you got pregnant in the first place. Having a baby is such a commitment!

: : : : : : : : WTF?

[candyapplez]

Originally Posted by naismama

I agree with a PP--what a stupid response!!

Ok I'm confused what was the stupid reponse? What I wrote?

[naismama]

Originally Posted by candyapplez

"Wow having the baby at home? Not leaving yourself many options are you?"

This is a stupid response to the idea of a homebirth. Jessitron is the PP I was referring to. I would never post to tell a mama something she said was stupid

[Dena]

Originally Posted by durafemina

or do they wake up in the morning in their own beds and think to themselves "yikes! I'm trapped!"

:

[aylaanne]

I usually say to people "DH and I have researched this extensively and feel this is the best choice for our family. If anything goes wrong, we already have a relationship with X hospital nearby and they will be able to assist us. I've had a great pregnancy and am an excellent candidate for a homebirth, and I feel much safer at home than in the hospital."

Or, the short answer, "why would I go to a hospital? I'm pregnant, not sick or dying."

Most people in my area are very supportive of my homebirth. I have a few stupid comments, but not too many. I feel very lucky in that respect.

[Thandiwe]

Tonight as I arrived to teach some piano lessons, the mom of the girls I teach was chatting with her best friend. The mom (T) asked when I was due. I said two more weeks, and she said, "Oh, we're going to have to buy you a tent to wear soon!" : So then her best friend (D) goes, "How big is the baby now?" I say, "We have a midwife; we don't do u/s." D goes, "Will they still induce?" I say, "No, it's at home." D replies, "Oh, will you still have pain meds?" I, gapingly, say, "No, it's AT HOME." What I want to say is, "Every single thing you're listing is a reason WHY it's at home. How insanely medicalized do you expect this to be?!?!?" No comprehension level of the natural function of pregnancy and childbirth. Like beating my head against a wall.....

And just for the record, I am tired of being told how huge I am and how "if I get any bigger...." Duh. Like I don't know this. Like I wouldn't choose to snap my fingers, turn around three times, and suddenly be in labor, about to hold my baby.