speaking as a medical birth momma
it is tough ............. it is a tough line to walk to advocate natural birth, to educate and support natural birth, and also respect moms who had other births, allow them to grieve, and to include them.
even for me -- i advocate natual, non medication, non intervention births 100%, i totally support home births and UC as well.
however, i do understand there are times when the medical stuff is necessary, maybe not in a life or death choice (though more of than not -- yes it can be life or death) but in a reality sort of way.
i often feel as a medical birth momma, who choses to birth in an hosptial with an OB that there are moms out there that doesn't support my choices despite my support and acceptace of hb and uc .. you will, sadly, hear people tell you things like "if you hoptial birth you are asaking for inteventions, if you really want a natural birth stay home" ......
it is tough -- there is a line. are CS necessary, yes, are they necessary in 30% of US births -- no. the recent Mothering artical made a good point, all will agree there are too many CS but all also feel thiers was a necessary one ..... it is a rock and a hard place.
are intevention over used? yes. Do they have a place, yes?
finding a balance is so hard.
It is very fustrating and very hurtful -- to have some moms here and IRL who approach things with the "it is always possible to have a natural birth" and then want to pick apart your birth to show that "well if you had done this, not that, you would have been better off"
If i get told -- here or in IRL ONE MORE TIME if i had a home birth my birth would not have turned medical i may SCREAM so long that i pass out
There are no simple answers, none. birthis complex and the issues around birth are complex.
20/20 hind sight and monday morning quarterbacking has its place, to learn so maybe a differnt choice can be made next time, or so another mom can learn .... but in reality if you are not the mom in qustion, and if you are not careful -- it comes off as "well it was your fault that happned, it wouldn;'t have happned to me" and hurtful and insulting.
Most of us, all of us?, with a medical birth (and i did not have to have a CS) stuggle with it. we prepared for a natrual birth, we studied, we read, we went to class, we knew an alret active birth was best for the baby and the breastfeeding, we were worred about the slippy slope of interventions, we hired doulas we hired MW we did "everythign you are supposed to do to ensure a natrual birth" and then we didn't get one. we feel like failures, we feel like we can't trust our bodies........
It is hard to hear natrual birth thrown around so casually -- it is not an easy or casual thing.
|It's a lot to take in, especially if you've had a traumatic experience. I know I would probably feel defensive if I had just trusted the system, had a traumatic experience, and then been told that if I had only been proactive, I could have avoided it. I'd feel blamed, I guess.
|Some of it feels like "blame the victim" - you could have avoided trauma if you had only researched it more, chosen a better care provider, stood up to the staff, said no, hired a doula, written a birth plan, whatever.
and there are times when you do that and more and it still turns medical, but there are thoese that will jump to tell you if you had birthed at home, or USed or whatever ..... like even if you did 25 things to ensure a natural birth, you didn't do 27 and THAT is the problem, you obvuious didn't care enough or try enough
it is jsut a tough tough road to walk -- advocating one thing, while still supportive of another and REALISTIC about it all too