Do you Play on the Playground? - Page 5

[~PurityLake~]

Originally Posted by transformed

When do they start playing with eachother? I am working on #3.

My daughters have been playing with each other since the youngest was 6 months old. They are only 15 months apart in age. They wrestle together, tickle each other, play peekaboo under blankets, dress and undress each other, baby their dolls together, explore empty boxes together, hide in their 'fort' (a sheet draped over furniture) and chase each other up and down the hall or around the dining table.

I love watching them play together, and I have to watch them just in case the older and bigger one gets a bit too rough, or the younger one is being obnoxious.

[ryleigh'smama]

I play with them about 1/2 the time. Well, ds is 8 months so he's always with me or in the swing. Dd, it just depends on her mood and how many kids are there. Sometimes she wants me close by, most of the time not so much. Dh has more of a tendency to follow her around, making sure she doesn't fall of the slide and such...I try to get him to relax, and he is getting better now that she is getting older.

[thebee321]

Originally Posted by SiValleySteph

I find that the children whose parents aren't playing with them (mom sitting on bench reading a book, dad on cell phone) often want me to play with them as well. :

This happens to me, too, and I do get annoyed sometimes. I guess some here would say it's my fault for being on the playground with my kid (who is kind of shy and not great at playing with new friends sometimes) - but the type of kids who latch onto us and want to play with us seem SO desperate for someone to pay attention to them, and it seems sad to me. Usually I see their parent or caregiver sitting really far away from the playground.

[DesertFlower]

I only play if there are no kids for DS to play with. Otherwise, I just keep an eye on him to make sure he's not hurting himself, or that older kids are acting cool.

[alicia622]

I follow Gage around and play with him as he desires. He is two so not old enough to let him play alone. I love playing at the park. I waited too long to have a child to not enjoy every minute of his childhood

[transformed]

Originally Posted by SiValleySteph

I play with my son a fair amount when we are at the playground. He just turned 3, so he's on the young side.

I find that the children whose parents aren't playing with them (mom sitting on bench reading a book, dad on cell phone) often want me to play with them as well. : I'll try and get a game or something going with DS and the other kids as well. DS is still young enough that he likes me to be close by, at least until he feels comfortable with a new child.

About the play equipment for older kids and younger kids on it, I know it's annoying to the older kids, but it is hard to keep the younger kids off it. I was at a new playground opening and they put this great play structure for 5-12 year olds about 15 feet from the little kids area. I hated that playground. We couldn't keep the 3 year olds out of the big kids area! It was way more exciting than the little kid section!

I was also annoyed because the parents of the other 3 year old just expected their 10 year old to watch her and gave no supervision. The 10 year old went clear to the other side of the park (75 yds, probably at lesat) to see the trees and they just told the 3 year old to go after her. I wouldn't go to the park with this family again. It didn't meet my comfort level. Now, playing at our house or theirs is fine because then the kids can run free in the yard.

I'm sure as DS gets older, he won't want mom playing with him as much. I just follow his lead.

I started "babysitting" at this age, I dont see anything wrong with a 10 yr old watching. But the parents still need to have one eye on both!

[transformed]

I wish I hadn't turned this thread into a competition. Mommy competition is too ridiculous anyways and I HATE it. I hate when parents compare their kids or their parenting styles and talk about how theirs is better! This is why I dont get together with Mommy's very often! Because I really dont want to hear about how their kids learned to read at 6 months, or how another one feels bad about their kid not reading at 6 months. :

I am sorry to start a little battle! We should not be fighting about who is better! We are all in the same place.

I desperately need a break, and there is NO place where I can, I thought the playground would work. It doesn't. Its 100 times better than the store, the library, and anyplace else I can think of.

My dh works 12 hours a day so he isnt much help, LOL.

But after 10 minutes of running around (and it is still HOT here in FL) I am like "Ok guys, time to go home!" I feel bad for my kids. I am not able to provide for their needs at the moment. I guess this is "life" though and sometimes mommys get pregnant! Mabye its a lesson to teach them.

I also think its so so so important in MY family (not speaking for anyone elses) that my kids are shown love but at the same time, I dont want to teach my daughter that her needs are not important. If I dont pay attention to my need for a break, neither will she when she gets to be a mommy! (I know this because I had a mom who made life "all about the kids" and was a total parenting burnout....Its where I am heading if I dont figure out how to coordinate times when I am not a playmate, a maid, a cook, and a wife.) I want to take care of my needs in full view of my kids sometimes so that they can SEE it. (I know I can arrange a babysitter but that doesnt teach them anything about respecting other peoples needs!)

I am not mad at the helicopter parents. I just need a friggin break. LOL

The park is better than the TV!

[VisionaryMom]

Originally Posted by HollyBearsMom

Nothing drives me or my son crazier is when he can't get onto the play structure because parents are in the way. :

We feel the same way! Get off the equipment and out of the way. It's for the kids. I've actually had to ask adults to move over so that my son could play because they were so busy hovering over the own kid that no other kids could play. It's ridiculous. I think if you're that worried, then you should either not bring your child or come during down times so that you're not causing a backup for all of the other children.

I've noticed at our parks a tendency for the parents of only children to try to interrupt the flow of play, which I find disturbing. There was one child, for example, who wanted to dictate which other children she thought should use the slide. She actually would push children out of the way, and her mother was saying to the other kids, "Nancy doesn't want you on the slide now." :

I only play with DS when he asks, but he's highly extroverted so rarely does. He's more likely to say, "go now, Mommy" and shoo me away. For that, though, I had to go over. I just said to my son, "you're welcome to use the slide whenever you want."

The other mom was horrified and took Nancy to another toy where she did the same thing until some kid clocked her and yelled "no!"

I actually find it fascinating to watch the dynamics on playgrounds. I find so many parents who give empty praise and just stand over their kids for no reason. Then we have people who will leave their toddlers on the playground and go off to do other things. It's odd.

Rough play between kids (i.e. pushing to get in line) doesn't really bother me when it seems inadvertent and that the kids are doing it just as part of being excited about playing. I figure those are things that they'll encounter eventually, so it's okay as long as the kids are all around the same age. When significantly older kids push little ones, I get particularly annoyed.

[transformed]

Originally Posted by BrandiRhoades

She actually would push children out of the way, and her mother was saying to the other kids, "Nancy doesn't want you on the slide now." :

OMG!

[UptownZoo]

Originally Posted by GuildJenn

No matter what you do at the playground, someone is going to think you are:

- too uninvolved, lazy, and inattentive
- hovering, overprotective, and in the way.

Ain't that the sad, sad truth?

Originally Posted by transformed

I wish I hadn't turned this thread into a competition. Mommy competition is too ridiculous anyways and I HATE it. I hate when parents compare their kids or their parenting styles and talk about how theirs is better! This is why I dont get together with Mommy's very often! Because I really dont want to hear about how their kids learned to read at 6 months, or how another one feels bad about their kid not reading at 6 months. :

I am sorry to start a little battle! We should not be fighting about who is better! We are all in the same place.

I desperately need a break, and there is NO place where I can, I thought the playground would work. It doesn't. Its 100 times better than the store, the library, and anyplace else I can think of.

My dh works 12 hours a day so he isnt much help, LOL.

But after 10 minutes of running around (and it is still HOT here in FL) I am like "Ok guys, time to go home!" I feel bad for my kids. I am not able to provide for their needs at the moment. I guess this is "life" though and sometimes mommys get pregnant! Mabye its a lesson to teach them.

I also think its so so so important in MY family (not speaking for anyone elses) that my kids are shown love but at the same time, I dont want to teach my daughter that her needs are not important. If I dont pay attention to my need for a break, neither will she when she gets to be a mommy! (I know this because I had a mom who made life "all about the kids" and was a total parenting burnout....Its where I am heading if I dont figure out how to coordinate times when I am not a playmate, a maid, a cook, and a wife.) I want to take care of my needs in full view of my kids sometimes so that they can SEE it. (I know I can arrange a babysitter but that doesnt teach them anything about respecting other peoples needs!)

I am not mad at the helicopter parents. I just need a friggin break. LOL

The park is better than the TV!

I'm sorry you're struggling. FWIW, I think this is a more-or-less ridiculous argument (not your OP, just the argument that followed, which I've seen here some 2 dozen times in the past few years); there's a false dichotomy here. There are not two kinds of parents, those who hover and never leave their children's side for an instant, and those who sit on the sidelines, basically neglecting their children's needs, education in manners, etc.

But I've given up on pleading for everyone to give each other the benefit of the doubt. It's like judging the way other people parent (down to the minutiae of where any given parent is during a visit to the park) is a hobby for some.

It's OK to sit on the sidelines. I do; I read or chat or just soak up the sun, and I pay attention to where my kids are and what they're doing and I know if they need help or direction. My suggestion would be to do what feels right to you and eventually, another parent or two at the playground might decide that it's OK for them, too, to step back a bit and see if the kids will play together.

[mamazee]

I don't play at the playground. I take my daughter to the playground so she can play with other kids. I don't care one way or the other if other parents are playing there, although I have seldom seen that.

[transformed]

Originally Posted by UptownZoo

There are not two kinds of parents, those who hover and never leave their children's side for an instant, and those who sit on the sidelines, basically neglecting their children's needs, education in manners, etc.

.

Yes, I agree.

There are not 2 kinds on parents.

We are all doing what we think is right for our kids.

I personally have some fear that I am going to totally screw up my kids. I have extreme mommy guilt all the time! I need to shake it off!

[mammal_mama]

Originally Posted by BrandiRhoades

We feel the same way! Get off the equipment and out of the way. It's for the kids. I've actually had to ask adults to move over so that my son could play because they were so busy hovering over the own kid that no other kids could play. It's ridiculous. I think if you're that worried, then you should either not bring your child or come during down times so that you're not causing a backup for all of the other children.

I don't see how parents are in the way any more than other kids. When I've felt the need to hover over my toddler on the equipment, I've always been considerate of other children passing through. I find it hard to believe that there are all these inconsiderate parents, just blocking the other kids from playing, and totally unaware that anyone else is trying to use the slide, etcetera.

And as far as coming at non-busy times with toddlers -- that worked well when I just had one child, but now I have my 7yo to consider in addition to my toddler, and she prefers the busy times. It's kind of like the blanket statement that "no child should be exposed to TV before age 2": some ideals are just harder to achieve as families grow, so we do what we need to do to deal.

I've noticed at our parks a tendency for the parents of only children to try to interrupt the flow of play, which I find disturbing. There was one child, for example, who wanted to dictate which other children she thought should use the slide. She actually would push children out of the way, and her mother was saying to the other kids, "Nancy doesn't want you on the slide now." :

Okay, that is extremely rude and unempathetic toward the other kids -- but I have a hard time believing that very many moms of onlies are like this. My oldest was an only 'til she was almost 5, and I certainly never assisted her in any attempts to rule the playground. I'm inclined to see a mom like this as a real aberration from the norm.: In my 7 years as a mom, I've never met anyone like this. I'm sorry you did!

I actually find it fascinating to watch the dynamics on playgrounds. I find so many parents who give empty praise and just stand over their kids for no reason.

I guess I find it "fascinating" when someone else presumes to judge another parent's praise as "empty," or presumes to judge another parent as having "no reason" for staying close to her children at the park. I'm reminded of the pp whose child has autism which may not be obvious to others, so these others might accuse her of hovering "for no reason." Should she feel a need to explain and justify her behavior every time she goes to the park?

I'm not ashamed to be a helicopter mom when I have a child at a developmental level where she needs this -- and I'm also not ashamed to say it was a wonderful day when my oldest matured to the point where I could spend some time sitting on the bench, chatting with other moms or reading.

I look forward to the day when my youngest (now 2 1/2) no longer needs as intensive supervision, and I can go to the park "for breaks" again. So, I find blanket judgments that "helicopter moms are good moms and other moms are lazy" just as objectionable as blanket statements that parents need to keep off the equipment.

What's wrong with each parent feeling good about following her own instincts, and allowing other parents the same space?

[transformed]

Originally Posted by mammal_mama

What's wrong with each parent feeling good about following her own instincts, and allowing other parents the same space?

I agree-even though I generally want to hang out and let my kids play with other kids and not follow them around the playground, I think thats the most important point here.

Follow your Instincts!

My instinct is to sit.

[ktbug]

Originally Posted by aprilushka

I voted yes but that's b/c DD is 17 months and I need to follow her around the towers to make sure she doesn't fall from the higher places. Once I feel pretty good about her taking care of herself in that respect, and not getting pushed too much around when other kids are on the playground sets, I plan to be doing some reading while the kids are on the playground.

:

The parks are crowded around here!
And ds is almost but not quite 14 months. He's ridiculously mobile, and plays the way he sees the 2-3-4yo's at the park playing. He wants to climb everything, slide down every slide, see-saw, dig in the dirt, everything! But he's teeny-tiny. So I follow him everywhere. I don't know if it comes off as obnoxious to the other moms and sitters at the park; I guess I don't care, because ds has tremendous fun playing with me, and I with him.

When he gets older and bigger, and wants to play by himself, I'll happily read a book or do homework. Would that the park had wi-fi.

[StephandOwen]

My head is spinning just reading this thread. However, this post in particular is just :

Originally Posted by BrandiRhoades

We feel the same way! Get off the equipment and out of the way. It's for the kids. I've actually had to ask adults to move over so that my son could play because they were so busy hovering over the own kid that no other kids could play. It's ridiculous. I think if you're that worried, then you should either not bring your child or come during down times so that you're not causing a backup for all of the other children.

You don't seem to get it that some kids NEED their parents there, physically on the equipment with them, or else they can/will get hurt. I do play on the equipment with my son, but I've always been respectful of the other kids around and make sure I'm not in their way. I'm sorry you haven't run into more parents like that.

And I'm also shocked at your suggestion to keep the kids home or bring them at non-busy times. I find it appalling that anyone would suggest another parent not bring their kids to the park. It's a public space. Get over it. Why don't *you* bring your child at a non-busy time if you find he's not getting enough slide time or whatever? In today's world I praise any parent who brings their kids to the park to run around.

And for all those special needs kids who you basically just said shouldn't be at the park when you are.... shame on you. My son deserves to play at the park too, even if it's busy. You just more or less said that because he's special needs and needs a bit of extra help/attention from me that he should be ostracized and not allowed at the park when all the "normal" kids are. Again, shame on you. :

My son has a hard enough time at the park, he doesn't need you dictating when he can go. I bet you don't notice when your "normal" child says rude things to my ds because he's slower than them, or because he doesn't respond to them verbally all the time. I cannot count the number of times, just in this past week, when my ds has attempted to play with another child at the park and that child was so flipping rude to him. Thank G*d my innocent little boy doesn't know/understand what "stupid head", "slow boy", and "retard" mean. And despite all these insults your "normal" kids are throwing at my son, he STILL wants to play with them.

Maybe instead of getting angry and throwing demands around you can teach your children a little bit of compassion. So when it's taking my son more than 30 seconds to go down the slide he's not constantly being pushed from behind by "your" kids.

Your comments on only children are also disturbing, but we won't go there.

[mammal_mama]

For the posters who'd like to kick all the grownups off the equipment -- would you feel the same way about a really large child?

I just don't get it! I guess I've never encountered the inconsiderate, "hogging" type of adult who crowds everyone else's kids off of the equipment. I don't think adult presence interferes with children's fun in the least.

[mammal_mama]

Originally Posted by StephandOwen

And I'm also shocked at your suggestion to keep the kids home or bring them at non-busy times. I find it appalling that anyone would suggest another parent not bring their kids to the park. It's a public space. Get over it. Why don't *you* bring your child at a non-busy time if you find he's not getting enough slide time or whatever? In today's world I praise any parent who brings their kids to the park to run around.

And for all those special needs kids who you basically just said shouldn't be at the park when you are.... shame on you. My son deserves to play at the park too, even if it's busy. You just more or less said that because he's special needs and needs a bit of extra help/attention from me that he should be ostracized and not allowed at the park when all the "normal" kids are. Again, shame on you. :

(Bolding Mine.) Well said, Mama. to you for boldly meeting your son's needs in an uncompassionate world. Hang in there! The world needs more loving families like yours.

[katheek77]

[QUOTE=BrandiRhoades;9346330]
I've noticed at our parks a tendency for the parents of only children to try to interrupt the flow of play, which I find disturbing. There was one child, for example, who wanted to dictate which other children she thought should use the slide. She actually would push children out of the way, and her mother was saying to the other kids, "Nancy doesn't want you on the slide now." :



.[/QUOTE

Wow...way to stereotype onlies/moms of onlies.

Guess what? I have an only. She will be an only. And I do have to get on the equipment with her sometimes. And guess what else? If she's taking a long time to go (she will sometimes stop on the stairs to look around), I guide the other children to go around her, "It's ok if you'd like to go in front of us. Katie's waiting a bit." or something to that effect. I actually don't get TOO involved if another child gets in Katie's way or whatever...it teaches her patience, and not to retaliate...

Katie sort of knows to wait her turn (15 months, so, of course it's not perfect), and when she forgets, I intervene. Would you rather that I NOT "hover", and NOT intervene, and then, when she does what a 15 month old sometimes does and attempts to shove YOUR child out of the way, should I just stay out of it so I don't get "in the way" of the other children???

Which way do you want it? Do you want me to stay on the bench and NOT teach my implied selfish/spoiled/entitled only child manners, sharing, patience, etc. or do you want me "interrupting the flow of play" and making sure other children get their turn, that she learns how to let other children go first, etc.? Can't have it both ways, you know.

You're taking an isolated example and applying it to an entire set of people. If, instead of "only child" you had said that this was a "mentally challenged" child or whatever, you'd be in so much hot water around here. Think about that the next time you want to label only children and their parents.

Rant done.

[transformed]

Why do mommys like to fight so much?