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~Just waiting for the new October Feather, May 04 Mamas~ - Page 9

post #161 of 317
Aw, Clauds, it really is somethin' sweet to be missed.

Meg, I am sending much strength to you because being sick is NO fun, and tending to other sick people is even less so. UGHHHHH

Duce- To be preg, and studying, must be really friccin' hard. Hats off to you!

Heather, nice of you to not smack that woman, Here step aside and I'll do it for ya *thwack*

Sherri, yummy chunky applesauce! Mmmmmm!

As if life were not exciting enough, I had a miscarriage today. Yeaaaaaah. Complete with IUD, all caught in a Diva Cup. Bleaaagh.


I was expecting my period on my trip, and it never came. Over a week ago (about 6 wks late) I began spotting, lightly, and yesterday it came down great guns, and today a little lighter, no biggie, some clumpies, nothing crazy. I was downtown today and I cleaned out my diva cup before walking around downtown putting up posters for yet another bellydance workshop I'm organizing, nothing huge there. But soon afterward, I began leaking ALL. OVER. THE PLACE and I was like, whoa dude, obviously I did not put it in right because I couldn't be leaking this quickly after insertion. I am wearing black pants (thank GAWD) and they quickly became totally sopping. I was near an apt. I manage so I ducked in to change the thing, and when I pulled it out I saw the little plastic arm of the iud, and great clumps of stuff totally overwhelming the diva cup. I saw like formed things (vs. blood clots) and called Viet, who came right away, and together we inspected the contents and there was a fully formed sac, about 2.5" diameter, and a large clot almost as big. Of course no identifiable baby but I calculated I was about 8 wks pregnant. Totally interstuck (which isn't a word) with the IUD, which I washed off and kept.

WEEEIRD and now a little emotional, a little hormonal, totally glad to not be pregnant of COURSE.
post #162 of 317
Thread Starter 
awww, man, Els! I'm so sorry to hear 'bout that. Even though it wasn't planned or an ideal situation, it's still so sad when it happens. I hope you're feeling ok. Big coming your way from me.
post #163 of 317
Dudes. I didn't even know you all were talking about baseball until TC said so. Is it still baseball season? I am so clueless. And glad of it. Doh.

Good clinic day today. I may talk about it all sometime OY. Kind of major stuff sometimes. But I think I might like working there someday.

Love to all y'alls.

Sarah
post #164 of 317
Elsanne. Did you even suspect you might be pg? The way you described the event was really trippy. I'm so sorry you went through that, even if you are glad you are no longer pregnant. Wow. Big love coming atchya.
post #165 of 317
Oh Els, cross-posted with you as my message was open forever. I'm sorry to hear about that! It is big stuff to go through even when not suspecting or desiring. Hugs to you.
post #166 of 317
Thanks, youguys are right on: it is so strange, and so sentimental, even though a relief.
So, to top off this fine day, strangely enough I'm not about to break, quite yet, because maybe I'm in "hold it together, elsanne, HOLD IT TOGETHEEERRRR" mode, Sol wakes up and cries (highly unusual) and I think, oh shit, she's peed the bed, *sigh*, and I go in and she has vomited ALL. OVER. the bed, and she's bawling, it's in her hair, her clothes, etc....happily Amara does NOT wake, because Viet has left the state to take his father to Mexico City for medical treatment as of two hours ago. So, miscarriage-weakened self hefts very heavy 3.5 y.o., soothes, undresses, cleans, makes chamomile tea, holds until she falls asleep, holds while she vomits again (in bucket), cleans up, calls MIL who cannot come 6 blocks over to help, finally putting Sol on the foot of the bed while cleaning up grossness, happily Amara still does not wake, put very thick towels and blanket on top of wet spot, and tuck Sol back into bed and all is at peace at the moment. Sol does not have a temperature, so I think she has cleansed.

Wish me luck, everybody, and I know tomorrow is a new day, and should be better.
We have a show in Leon tomorrow night (2 hrs away). Ugh. Pray for healthy kidlets, for the Show Must Go On.
post #167 of 317
Elsanne,

I am so sorry! If it were me, I would be both very glad I wasn't pregnant any more, and very much grieving the baby-that-wasn't. I am glad Viet came over to be with you and help you examine the miscarriage contents. He certainly has some redeeming qualities. (((((s))))

I am missing Lisa. I know she's insanely busy, but I really miss her posts.

Dh and I have been talking about the profound differences in the babyhoods of our two kiddos. I recently had to look up W's development in the Dr. Sears book, because I was feeling like I had a genious on my hands. No, I have a normal 8.5 mo baby. A bit ahead in physical development (he's climbing stairs quickly, and getting up on short furniture too), certainly doing well with his verbal stuff, but pretty much normal.

I remember other people reassuring me that though L couldn't say much, he understood plenty. Now I am sure that just wasn't true. It is so clear to me that W totally understands a lot. Dh and I feel sad for L's babyhood, and wonder if we could have done something different, if the failure to thrive is what caused his language and social and (at the time) physical delays. On the other hand, dh and I recall that Dh also had language and social delays, identified much later (early gradeschool). Sure L may struggle in school, but I'm sure he'll be in a mainstream classroom, and I'm sure he'll do just fine as an adult. After all, Dh is now my boss.

I worry a little about what it might be like for L if he is struggling in school while W is in advanced classes. I know it was often hard for my siblings to be compared to me (I wasn't super-bright, just incredibly driven and perfectionist).

On the lighter side, I am LOVING this crazy, energetic, into-everything, social baby I've got in my hands. He is definitely the harder kid right now- L is a breeze by comparison. And I am also enjoying L. I am enjoying his budding vocabulary and imagination. He tells me things about his picture books, "Big Bird wants to eat some chips. He is scared of the elephant. He wants to sing a song" .

OK, it's almost 9:30, I have at least 2 hours of work to do here at the group home, and W is STILL AWAKE. Argh. GO to sleep, baby.
post #168 of 317
Thread Starter 
How is everyone doing today, els? Thinking of you and sending you some zen.

Fiddle, it is astounding the difference between your boys. I have to say, though, I feel such a sense of pride when I read of how L is flourishing. I am proud of him for all he's come through, he's a warrior. And I'm proud of you, for all you have been through with him, and continue to do. You are such a role model to me, how you are able to advocate for your child, and you seem to me as such a gentle and loving soul and mama. even though your life is crazy busy, your posts are full of concern and love for the rest of us. So often I get wrapped up in my own life and don't feel so in touch with the needs of others. You are an amazing family.
post #169 of 317
Elsanne---*huge hugs*
post #170 of 317
Sherri- And I've been feeling like most of my posts have been pretty me-centered lately. I suppose we often feel like other people handle life with more grace than us. I certainly have had times where both kids were just SO hard for me to deal with, and I look at other moms and think, "they are so calm and kind to their kids and I yell too much- how do they hold it together?"

Oooooooh thinking of Heather. Stalk, stalk, stalk, stalk.

I think I'm going to light a candle- I could be totally wrong, but I just feel the need...

Nighty night all!
post #171 of 317
i've got lots of halloween candles burning and i was thinking of heather and baby feather today.

wow elsanne, wow. you must have twenty thousand emotions. more from me and you're amazing for your ability to go on with the show! i hope sol feels better.

fiddle- i think L is talking so much now. and W's repeating is fun. isaac wasn't a big talker so i wonder what ebin will be like


we're watching natural born killers in spanish
post #172 of 317
Natural Born Killers in Spanish? :

Fern, I too feel that way about how everybody else does this multiple kid thing with way more grace than I do. I think we're wrong.
And I'm totally pleased for you that you are enjoying your sons so much, and enjoying W while the comparison helps you learn more about L. You are a remarkable mama.

BAck home from teh show, utterly exhausted but happy, it was a great show. The drummer from DJINN (which is like, tribal god band , from NYC) was in this show organized by a woman who is giving a workshop organized by moi on Monday/Tuesday, they are in fact an item, and well, jeez louise. I think some of the best feedback we got, one I will carry around for a while, is that he said, I'm going to go back to NYC and tell people, hey, there's tribal in Mexico, and it's awesome!

: oooooooh I'll hold onto that one a while!
post #173 of 317
elsanne-I just wanted to give you a also. What a crazy story. It's totally okay to feel two opposite feelings at once, you know. You're in my thoughts.

fiddle-very cool that you're having such fun with both kiddos. It is amazing to see their personalities unfold.

heather-hope you're doing okay!

we got our first "snow" last night, but the roads appear to be clear. It was really just a dusting. I'm not quite ready for winter yet, though. I like fall!!!!

okay, this is church day, so I best get in the shower while A is still asleep. Oh, I think she might have G's runny nose from last week. Let's hope it's as short-lived as his was.
post #174 of 317
Snow?? Eek!

Go Sox!

Well at least I slept well the past two nights---that's something to cherish! DH took the girls to church solo this morning and I'm just relaxing. I think we might need to go to the mall to walk later. And the walk some more. Or something!

C wants to bake cookies today so off to find a pumpkin recipe...
post #175 of 317
Poll: Do y'all think the littlest feather is going to wait until November for his/her debut?
post #176 of 317
Drive by post:

Majorly stalking Heather.

Major Hugs for Elsanne. I am so sorry for your loss.

Missing all you mamas and wish I could type more! GOtta get the kids ready for church!
post #177 of 317
things i forgot:

claudia, i miss you too! we are coming to the spooky party. but we could still plan a play day for early nov or something

so i went to a passion party on friday night. i don't really care at ALL about enhancing my sex life at this point : but i wanted a night out so doug headed off to pizza with the 2 boys in tow to meet the husband and kids of the party hostess. i thought YAY! such a big step for him. and then ebin cried the whole time and was tired but it was too noisy for him to sleep. (it was a frenetic chuck-e-cheese kind of place - pietros) and he wouldn't take the bottle. doug didn't manage to eat and i think he got pretty flustered. he told me last night these ladies offered to help him and hold the baby for a while. i said next time let the kind ladies hold the baby while you EAT. because then you can just deal so much better.

so i was all excited only to realize he probably won't be heading out the door solo with the 2 boys again for a while oy vey

my mom is coming tomorrow and she'll be babysitting ebin a couple of days next week while i work. so i wonder how that will go..... she's kind of like doug in that department (low confidence). his mom on the other hand wouldn't care if he screamed for 5 hours straight. she'd just handle it.

halloween costumes are done! phew doug said they look like bad waiter costumes greeeaaat. ha!
post #178 of 317
Jstar I remember that phase with Amara/Viet, it was rather ball n chain for a while but now he handles it. Took until about a year old-ish for Viet. Ball n chain in that he refused to do it after the first hectic time like you describe.

Recovering here with my gals, viet still in mexico city and we're starting to go stir crazy although the last thing I want is to leave here. I should say, Sol is starting to go stir crazy. Poor thang.
post #179 of 317
Sol is really loving the IKEA train set(s) we brought back. So am I.
post #180 of 317
back from night & day at beach house. went to take pics, as i remembered none of you have seen it yet (except jess, who saw some pics on the real estate flyer on our kitchen table when she was here last) and our frickin' battery on the digi was dead!!!>???!!!??? wtf????!!!????? bill said he just charged it the other day, which was probably last weekend, so gotta wait until i go out there again, although that may be in a few days, as we have to get the heaters looked at before cold weather starts in earnest so we don't burn the house down. we turned one on after cleaning them all a week ago, and it was stinky, stinky, burning stinky. and another one, the thermostat wire broke off when bill was cleaning it last week, so that one doesn't even work. ah the joys of homeownership. not!!!

ok, gotta snuggle the man 'cause he's feeling neglected.

oh yeah, and my cycle started today. first time since mid dec '05 before i got pregnant with S. i had a feelin' it was comin'.

els: sad for your loss... s chica...

more tomorrow.

~claudia
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