Moms of Many October support thread - Page 5

[Mama Poot]

How many children DO you want? Has anyone set a number or "goal"? : We feel that 4 children will be ideal for our family. But if this 3rd is our last, or we have more than 4, that will be fine too. Clear as mud, right? Sometimes, I secretly hope that I'm carrying twins so we can have our four kids and be done with it and DH can get the snip.

[mclisa]

Originally Posted by Mama Poot

How many children DO you want? Has anyone set a number or "goal"? : We feel that 4 children will be ideal for our family. But if this 3rd is our last, or we have more than 4, that will be fine too. Clear as mud, right? Sometimes, I secretly hope that I'm carrying twins so we can have our four kids and be done with it and DH can get the snip.

DH and I both come a family of 3 kids so when we were going through marriage counseling we both agreed that we wanted 3 kids in the family.





DH changed his mind. So now we have 4 and I'm pretty sure there will be 5 as crazy as that is to think about some days.

He's secretly wishing for twins as well. That way he'd get 6 kids!

He got interested in the genealogy in my family when he noticed the spontaneous twins and triplets that were common in one family line.

silly boy

[StormySar]

I would love a large family...

My friend has 9 kids - I admire her so much. I'd love to have a dozen! : But it depends on God really.

[orangefoot]

I'm not absolutely sure that we're done yet either. Another pregnancy would mean another 46 weeks of injecting daily to prevent my blood over clotting, my last 2 labours haven't been too easy and 5 children in the family : but I haven't dismissed the idea yet.

We only have a 2 bed house and 5 children here would be a bit much and I also think the OBs here would not be overly supportive of us doing it all over again. If we can move in the next couple of years I would definitely consider ttc though.

[DreamsInDigital]

I'd love a dozen or so as well. We shall see what happens.

[flapjack]

I think we're pretty much agreed on 5, assuming I don't have the difficulties staying pregnant next time round that we did this time. (3 miscarriages in 12 months, it stinks.) When I grow up (hah) I'm considering going back to uni to train as a midwife, and I don't want to leave it past the age of 40 to do that- I don't want another 5 year gap in my family either, I found it really hard emotionally to get out of the baby years, into my groove as mum to big kids who do stuff independently and go to school and stuff, be back to work and THEN plunge myself back to the baby days.

[AngieB]

We always said we wanted 4, then when #3 was about a year and a half old I decided I was done, I was so tired and having a tough time with the kids so I asked dh to get a "V". He had and appointment with the dr. to get the ball rolling when I found out I was 4 month pregnant with #4. Suprise, taht was why I was so tired it wasn't that I was a terrible mom who couldn't handle her kids. So we have our 4 kids after all. Dh has now gotten snipped so when are officially done!

[taylor]

When people ask us how many we want, I always say 4. It's a pretty common number of children, still - especially among my DH's family. However, we want more like 5 or 6.

[orangefoot]

Originally Posted by flapjack

I I don't want to leave it past the age of 40 to do that- I don't want another 5 year gap in my family either,

When I'm 40 ds1 will be 20 and when I just had the two of them I was looking forward to being 'free' in my 40s to do all the things I didn't do in my 20s. At 34 with a 1 yo I seem to have messed that up a bit and if we have another in a couple of years then I'll have to keep hoping I'm still fit, healthy and able to walk in my late 50s.

The gap between ds2 and dd1 was hard but in some ways easier once I got into it; having dd2 now I am reminded how mch harder it its to manage 2 little people but now with added teen stuff in the mix.

[FreeRangeMama]

I think we are done at 4. Of course neither one of us wants to do anything permanent. And we also thought we were done with 3 until carelessness caused us to 'accidentally' get pregnant. I don't really want a #5, but I won't at all be surprised if next year sometime I find myself pregnant again. And somehow I will be surprised because it was so unexpected

[flapjack]

Originally Posted by orangefoot

When I'm 40 ds1 will be 20 and when I just had the two of them I was looking forward to being 'free' in my 40s to do all the things I didn't do in my 20s. At 34 with a 1 yo I seem to have messed that up a bit and if we have another in a couple of years then I'll have to keep hoping I'm still fit, healthy and able to walk in my late 50s.

Throughout the years on my own, I was actually planning my trip round the world and putting a bit away each week- it was my 40th birthday present to myself. I don't see it happening now, though- 50, maybe. (on my 40th, Alex will be 18 and Isaac 16 rising 17)

[spruce]

Originally Posted by FreeRangeMama

I won't at all be surprised if next year sometime I find myself pregnant again. And somehow I will be surprised because it was so unexpected

Any baby born into your family will be so blessed.

/Yeah, we have 6 and I want more but Dh says we're done (to the point that he RUNS from my amorous attentions!) ... How sad is that?

[spruce]

Originally Posted by orangefoot

We only have a 2 bed house

We have a two-bedroom, six kids, and a woodstove, no central heat, chickens, and we homeschool.

It can be done. It really can. I tell my kids to think of themselves as pioneers, like Laura and Mary Ingalls.

[orangefoot]

Originally Posted by spruce

We have a two-bedroom, six kids, and a woodstove, no central heat, chickens, and we homeschool.

It can be done. It really can. I tell my kids to think of themselves as pioneers, like Laura and Mary Ingalls.

Its not the number of bedrooms that bothers me its the space and everyone being indoors all witer. Our 2 bed is in Engand and we only have 380sq ft of living space!

[spruce]

We live in interior Alaska.

[mclisa]

Originally Posted by flapjack

Throughout the years on my own, I was actually planning my trip round the world and putting a bit away each week- it was my 40th birthday present to myself. I don't see it happening now, though- 50, maybe. (on my 40th, Alex will be 18 and Isaac 16 rising 17)

Just think: now you have a few more years to save! That trip will be even bigger 10 years later!

[phathui5]

We moved out of a two bedroom house last year into a house with five bedrooms, a living room, dining room, kitchen, bathroom, basement and HUGE backyard. What's funny is that we still only use two bedrooms. One's an office and one is a playroom and one we don't even use yet.

[orangefoot]

I could go into all the reasons why I don't feel that we have enough space to add one more small person because I'm sure you would tell me that I could do x, y or z or that you manage just fine etc etc so I'll just leave it that I know it *can* be done - we just don't want to do it.

I am feeling down about this and frustrated with our situation in many ways right now so forgive me if I don't appreciate your wink and grin.

[FreeRangeMama]

Originally Posted by spruce

We have a two-bedroom, six kids, and a woodstove, no central heat, chickens, and we homeschool.

It can be done. It really can. I tell my kids to think of themselves as pioneers, like Laura and Mary Ingalls.

You know you are my idol What I wouldn't give for a lovely little cottage with a woodstove, some chickens, and maybe even a milk producing animal..... I don't think dh would go for it though.

And he is completely against the idea of more kids as well at this point. I am just post-partum enough to be loving on my sweet baby girl and not quite feeling like I am ready for this phase of my life to be over. I just look at them all when they jump into bed with me in the morning and just think how lucky I am. Of course when I am in the middle of a crowded store while 2 preschoolers run laps around the cart, the 6 yo complains loudly, the baby fusses and I still have a to do list a mile long I may feel slightly different..... But then we get home to our cozy little (really little) house it all feels right again.

[FreeRangeMama]

I could go into all the reasons why I don't feel that we have enough space to add one more small person because I'm sure you would tell me that I could do x, y or z or that you manage just fine etc etc so I'll just leave it that I know it *can* be done - we just don't want to do it.

Not to pick on you at all, but this just made me think of something. My neighbor was actually born in the house I live in. She is in her seventies now. Apparently she spent her whole childhood in this house, though when she lived here it was much smaller (not that it is big, around 1000 sq ft). Since her family owned it there has been a kitchen, bathroom, and bedroom added on as well as a partial basement dug out. It was essentially a one bedroom shack. They had 5 kids. That really made me think, she grew up in a house with 5 kids and 2 parents in a much smaller version of my house. Suddenly it doesn't feel so small with the 6 of us. That is just how it was done. People didn't move. If anything they may have added on, but more likely they would just move everyone over and squeeze another kid in the bed

What a contrast to the families I know who are "outgrowing" their homes. All of them have 2 kids and 3-4 bedrooms I understand there are many reasons to get a new home, and if you want to and have the means to do it then go for it. But the idea that it is a "need" for each kid to have their own bedroom, plus a tv room, computer room, play room, family room, etc. is kind of silly. It may be a want (and that is totally fair of course), but it certainly isn't a need. We love our small home. We may tear it down and rebuild on this lot one day as the house is 100 yrs old and has seen better days. But I don't want anything bigger than this, maybe just laid out a little better!