Have to move

[Writerbird]

:

Well, I've been waiting for the other shoe to drop. I hired a wonderful doula, found a midwife I've very comfortable with, and it turns out I live practically next to the most natural-friendly hospital in the county, complete with whirlpools in every private room. The location is not inconsiderable, what with this baby coming the week we usually get a big snowstorm. Our home is the dream house we bought in springtime, located 20 minutes from his mom, and less than fifteen from all his brothers and their families. And my favorite SIL is also pregnant!

The other shoe hit the ground. My husband's job collapsed, and while he immediately found another one (doing something that will make him happy, not miserable as he is now, yay!), we have to move. All of my plans are in... disarray.

I know this is probably a karmic lesson I needed. I tend to overplan, and overthink, and especially with a baby coming I need to get over my NEED to plan in such detail. But I really loved this house, so I'm having a little weep.

Anyway. If anyone lives in the Columbia MD area, that's where we're heading. I need to hire all new providers, and the hospital needs to take BCBS insurance. I am going to have my natural childbirth, darn it.

Okay, done whining, I swear!

[operamommy]

I'm sorry; that's really tough. I'm glad your dh found a new job right away though! If it's any consolation, when my dh lost his job 4 years ago we had to move for his new one too, and I like our new area much better than the area we lived before. I hope you find a house you love just as much, if not better. *hugs*

[BinahYeteirah]

bs"d

: Hopefully you will luck out with your new place, but I can understand how frustrating it must be to have to start over with all new providers after you put so much thought into picking them out the first time.

[mosesface]

oh, i'm so sorry! that must be so frustrating!

my dh's job just blew up today. technically he's on "administrative leave", but it's definitely the beginning of the end. he's actually pretty upbeat and excited about finding a new job. i am doing my best not to be absolutely terrified. i hope he is able to find a job as quickly as your dh did!! who knows, maybe i'll be in your same boat and have to move too!!

[Dea]

OI! I hope it all works out perfect, that your new house is dreamier and the new whirlpools in the new hospital are whirlier.

[anudi01]

You could always prepare for a UC...

: : :

Just putting it out there. I would have never imagined that I'd be planning for an unassisted childbirth, but after losts of soul searching and research....

There's no way I'd go to the hospital now. The pendulum just sort of slowly shifted for me to the point where I was way more nervous about going to the hospital than staying in the comforts of my own home.

Not saying that it's the right choice for you and your family...just planting a seed. It was definately through MDC that helped me reach the conclusion that I have ultimately come to.

Whatever decision you make...Good Luck to you.

[Teenytoona]

Oh Writerbird I'm sure this will be an awkward transition, but sometimes good things come in outrageous packages, ya know? It's certainly a good thing that your DP will be enjoying this new job more. Keep your chin up, it will all work out.

[flapjack]

We've been in the situation where everything was pushing us towards one course of action (like redundancy, a new job 300 miles away, ailing father-in-law near the new job, etc) but we didn't want to do it. You know what? When you relax and go with the flow, it can be absolutely fantastic.

[steph117]

Oh, SORRY to hear that, Writerbird - I can hear your frustration & upset and I can imagine how difficult a blow that is when you feel settled & ready to go where you are! I love what Dea wrote: "I hope it all works out perfect, that your new house is dreamier and the new whirlpools in the new hospital are whirlier." You never know - after some transition, hopefully that will indeed be the case!

It's great that you have a community here to rely on & get info from - have you already gone to the MD tribal area to get advice from local mamas? You'd probably get some great hints there on midwives/etc.

Good luck with everything. And I hope you'll definitely give yourself permission to fully cry & feel sad about the letting go before you try to embrace the new - it can be important to allow that process to happen if it wants to!

[LoveChild421]

I'm so sorry, I wish you all the best in finding a midwife in your new town and developing a good support system there as well. I'd be weeping too. But at least this didn't happen when you were at 36 weeks pregnant! You still have time to get everything planned out and check out your options. And you're good with planning so that will help a lot.

[Writerbird]

Thanks, you guys. I feel a lot less miserable today. The virtual hugging helps a lot.

As I feared, there's nothing really CLOSE to where we're going, and all the phone calls I made so far gave me the same story - malpractice insurance in my new state drove nearly all the "alternative" choices either out of business or underground.

But I did get one small ray of sunshine. There's a practice 25 minutes away (I got the name from the MDC local board) that specializes in waterbirth with room for me - something I'd originally wanted, but my current practice won't allow. So... maybe everything else will work out, too. Heaven knows I have enough phone calls and emails out to get SOMETHING back!

Thanks again. I sure hope you DON'T join me in this mess, Mosesface, I'll cross my fingers for you.

[ScarletBegonias]

we're all sick right now, but i couldn't not give you a hug mama!

[smokeylo]

You might pop into the "finding your tribe" forum for MD and ask about midwives and birth centers in the area. You might feel better if you were going in with some resources in hand. Moving is soooo stressful and I'm really sorry things worked out this way!