Mums of Picky Eaters - Unite!

[Piglet68]

Okay, I need to get out some of my frustration with my children's eating preferences.

From age 1 to 2 DD ate many things and I was proud of the job I'd done introducing good foods to her. But between 2 and 3 the number of things she'd eat rapidly declined. The same thing has happened to DS in his third year of life.

I was very picky as a child, highly sensitive to textures and smells. I was forced to sit at the table until I'd eaten everything and I can still remember how awful that felt, and how I gagged at the sight of most foods. I am under no illusions that I can "fix" my children - I must accept them as they are and trust that they have reasons for refusing the foods they do. As I did when I was a young child (and as I got older I was able to eat and enjoy more and more foods).

But this doesn't help at mealtimes. I'm tired of eating the same four or five dishes each week. I miss vegetables and mashed potatos and fish. When I try to make something different, not *too* different, that I think they will like - I am almost always met with disappointment. It is frustrating to put effort into a meal that they reject so easily.

I'm looking for support from other mothers whose children eat only a handful of food items. People who can comisserate with me about what it's like to see other children eating foods you could only dream yours would eat. About how concerned I get about my children not eating a well-rounded diet. About how much I'm beginning to hate cooking....

Any takers?

[hippymomma69]

subbing!

My DD (almost 4) is SOOOOO picky! She used to eat a well-rounded and very healthy diet. Then she started having bowel issues and I did an elimination diet for a while....we figured out it was soy that was causing the problems.

But now that I've added foods back, she will not eat anything! She used to eat meat, fish, chicken, avocado, broccoli, peas - and gradually she's dropped anything except crunchy or very chewy foods - or white food! GRR!

I keep telling myself "she will self-regulate" but I have a hard time going with the flow.

I bought the book "the sneaky chef" and the recipies are great - only she won't eat them! So i've tried to "sneaky chef" some of the other things I know she will eat. I add pureed nuts and banana to her pancakes, bean and nuts to her muffins and so on. It helps some....but I think she would live on string cheese eggs and hot dogs if it were totally up to her - SIGH. I wish she would accept a smoothie - but it's a no go.

What has worked for you?

peace,
robyn

[Piglet68]

Yup, the smoothies are a no go here too. She hates fruit! She will eat bananas on occasion, and an apple if it's nice and sweet, but nothing else! And yes, string cheese, eggs, and hot dogs are a staple here too, lol.

[meowee]

I have a 10 year old who will eat less than 5 things, all packaged, processed stuff, and it's breaking our bank. He is very thin though so I'm afraid to take drastic measures .

[jillmamma]

Mine are both picky eaters too, but every once in awhile will surprise me by eating something different. DS is a picky "drinker". He will not drink ANYTHING except water, no milk, no juice, etc. or breastmilk from the tap, but that he is not having much anymore (he's almost 5). In some ways that is great as I don't have anyone complaining that we don't have soda pop around, but school lunches suck because all they offer is milk, which he spits out if he actually tries it. This kid could live on chicken nuggets, french fries/tater tots, and peanut butter and apples if I would let him! I agree it is so frustrating to prepare a nice meal and have him say, "I don't want that." So far, my rule is that he has to try it (we try for 4 bites if possible), but he does not have to eat all of it. At least he WILL eat corn, peas, and carrots, and his little sister will eat carrots (for both they have to be cooked soft). Smoothies would not work for him as he hates anything cold, plus would not drink it anyway because it is not water. They might work for DD though. I think she is mainly just going through a picky toddler stage.

[todavia]

my ds is very picky as well. i go through phases of accepting it and trying to make him eat. right now i'm in acceptance mode. since his 5 year ped appt he's been a little better about trying stuff since she told him there's a "3-bite rule". i don't push it but i offer and say, "well dr orbe wants you to just try it". if he does - great. if he doesn't - fine.

mostly he eats:
waffles (whole wheat eggo's) w/butter and syrup (no "edges")
turkey and cheese sandwich w/ mayo on soft wheat bread (no crust)
chicken tenders/nuggets w/ ketchup
apple (no skin)
string cheese
yogurt tubes
nilla wafers, pretzels, tings, potato chips, honey nut cheerios (w/o milk)
orange juice (no pulp)
horizon strawberry milk

occasionally he will eat a little:
pizza
yellow rice & black beans
penne w/ tomato sauce
bagel w/ cream cheese

i think some of his pickiness has to do with oral-motor/texture issues because he did get EI for speech delay but as a baby he ate a somewhat more varied diet - carrots, peas, roasted chicken, grapes, banana - so who knows?

FWIW my younger brother ate ONLY 'white foods' - pasta w/ butter, cheerios w/ milk, dry chicken breast, angel food cake for the first 5 or 6 years of his life and is now (at 17) a very adventurous and "good" eater. he's also 6'4" and very healthy so i try to keep him in mind when i start to go crazy with my son.

[4evermom]

I'm relating to the "no edges" on food.

I'm happy my ds will eat ketchup, ravioli with spinach specks inside, and occasionally sweet potato with chunks of butter. Those are his vegetables. For fruit, he will eat finely diced apple thouroughly coated in sugar. He'll eat the skin when diced like that but he didn't used to. Once in a while he'll eat fruit leather. Certain seasonal fruits he will eat at the peak of perfection for the year. Usually with sugar or maple syrup on them. He usually drinks water but will drink juice on occasion.

He has recently stopped eating pretzels and started eating corn chips (I'm happy with that swap). He will eat Van's mini waffles, no substitutes. Pasta with oil and parmesan cheese. Sometimes he will eat cookies or muffins. He'll eat chicken nuggets and pizza. He will NOT eat french fries or mashed potatoes. The smoothie trick worked for a while when he was 3. At age 4, he got more particular. I feel like he has been slowly getting a little better.

It's hard to feed him when we are on the go because he is not interested in eating when we are out and about but will start to melt down if hungry.. Usually I just bring a bag of chips and the other moms on the playground hate me because their kids want chips instead of carrot sticks.

Sometimes I just tell him that if he eats a handful of almonds he will stop being hungry and not have to worry about eating. That actually works! He is a pretty reasonable kid.

[Iris' Mom]

My son is pretty frustrating. He is very sensitive to textures and smells, and has an overactive gag reflex. When I try to encourage him to try something new, he will sometimes throw up if he doesn't like it. I don't believe in force-feeding, but I do try to encourage my kids to at least try new foods.

Ds loves hot meat (no cold cuts), pasta, rice, fruit and junk food. No vegetables except raw carrots. No cheese, except on pizza. No potatoes. No fish. No "one dish" meals -- lasagna, baked ziti, or chicken pot pie. Not even typical kids fare, like mac and cheese, hotdogs, grilled cheese.

Usually, I can cobble something together for a meal at home, but school lunches are a nightmare. The only protein I can send with him is yogurt. He'll eat pbj (doesn't love it), but nuts are banned. I tried sending him spaghetti & meatballs, etc., in a thermos, but it didn't stay warm enough for him. The choices at school are either junk food (hotdogs, chicken nuggets) to ultra healthy (garden salad). He simply will go hungry if I don't give him something he likes, which doesn't do much for his afternoon behavior (he's 6, and does not like to eat much early in the morning).

[NaomiLorelie]

I think that even for non-picky eaters, pickiness around three or four is pretty normal. At least both of my older DD's who have always tried anything become frustratingly picky at around those ages. I will make what DH and I want for dinner, either with some options they like, or I will make them something simple if they don't like what we are having and I know it is new to them. There are always plenty of healthy snacks in our house, and as long as they are getting good food throughout the day I don't fuss too much over dinner.

[MaterBum]

It is a relief to me to read this thread! I've often thought as I've served my 4 1/2 year old chicken nuggets for the sixth meal in a row that I'd be kicked off of MDC if anyone ever found out.

Similar story here: As a babe, I did all the "right things" for her: made my own food, no sugar or water added, good veggies, fruits, etc. She used to beg for green beans; now, she holds her nose and chews a miniscule crumb of one if they are on her plate.

I dread all meal times. Even my DH will say when he asks what I'm making them for lunch "That sounds like a delicious, well rounded meal for them to reject before asking for a hotdog!"

I hope some mamas of older kids who have been here and come out on the other side will chime in here with a "don't worry buckaroos" speech!

[Holland73]

Thank you for starting this thread. Ds' story is so similar to many of yours. He ate beautifully for the first 2-2.5 years. Since about 2.5, it has been steadily declining. I kept thinking it was a phase, but he is now a little more than 4 years and it seems to be getting worse.

Currently, his dinners consist of:

PB&J sandwich (thankfully it is the organic, no-sugar/salt peanut butter and organic, no sugar added, fruit spread)
Tuna sandwich
Oatmeal
Waffles/Pancakes (Whole wheat Eggos or 10-grain pancakes/waffles)
Cheeseburgers (This is his ALL-TIME favorite! Hard to fault him on this one, as I also LOVE a good hamburger! )
From time to time...hot dogs and chicken nuggets

The only vegetable I can get him to eat are carrots. If I catch him on a good day (once in a blue moon), salad with blue cheese dressing.

Seriously...it drives me completely : But, on the other hand, it sure helps my grocery budget.

[Holland73]

Originally Posted by Piglet68

About how much I'm beginning to hate cooking....

I am feelin' ya on this one. I LOVE to cook. BUT...I am tired of being met with scrunched up noses and "I don't like that" or "what is that smell?"

In addition, as a single parent, I end up with this awesome meal just for myself with enough leftovers to feed half of my apartment building.

I want to spit on the mothers that tell me how their kids eat all of these awesome "adult" foods and then ask about my ds' eating habits.

Oh, one more little vent...I am tired of not being able to take him out to certain restaurants (particularily the small ethnic restaurants--Mexican, Indian, Chinese, etc.) because they will not have hamburgers, chicken nuggets or pb&j! Why can't the darn kid just eat a bloody quesedilla???? :

[Iris' Mom]

I should add that with my dd, everything "worked." I introduced her to a variety of foods, and she grew to like most everything. Broccoli was her favorite food. She loved vegetables, fish, hummos and tofu, etc. She ate junk food in moderation. Well, at 17, she still likes healthy food, but eats oreos by the sleeve and chips by the bag. I'm amazed she's not overweight.

[4evermom]

Originally Posted by NaomiLorelie

I think that even for non-picky eaters, pickiness around three or four is pretty normal. At least both of my older DD's who have always tried anything become frustratingly picky at around those ages.

Yeah, age 4 was the worst around here. Ds is still picky but more reasonable than at age 4.

[jdedmom]

I was the pickiest eater as a child. My mother, who is a wonderful cook, would force me to eat 1/2 plates of vegtables as a child (think Mommy Dearest where the same plate was served over and over again). I still to this day hate most cooked vegtables but ironically I learned to love most raw vegtables because I had access but not forced to eat them through being dragged to many, many adult parties as a kid.

I am contantly surprised at what my children will or will not eat. I would consider all of them picky but my oldest for instance will try clams or sushi but hates vegtables and fruits.: My middle son prefers salads, salsa, spicy foods, tomato soup or V8 (but doesn't like spagetti sauce) to plain pasta, meats and cooked vegetables. Like me he likes them raw.

My two oldest have to try each thing on their plate but I would never force it. My DH and I have had many arguements about this. I am really passionate about not forcing food and will fight to the death about it. Our compromise is that if they don't want to eat the food for dinner it sits on the table until they are in bed. If they say they are hungry until then they are re-directed to their dinner. Ocassionally I will give in and let my middle son have salad as a replacement for dinner.

For the curious there is a web site/support for adult picky eaters....
http://www.pickyeatingadults.com/

[Strong Mama]

Got another one here too. Did everything right..no jar food, homemade food, organic, no sugar, junk, etc...then at about 2, well..you know.

ds eats the same dishes, day in, and day out. but the other day he told me he was sick of chicken and chips(fries).

now he eats. pizza, spag, meat, and french fries. bread and cheese and crakcers and bannas and raisins. and of course any and all junk food.

thats it. i am sick and tired of it. but there is nothing i can do so i just feed him the same things every single day.