my dd will be 2 in december, and i've always just assumed that i would have more than 1 child. however, after my bout with ppd--depression, anxiety, intrusive/obsessive thoughts, and suicidal thoughts, i'm just not so sure. i've been on paxil for almost a year, and the only issue i have now is a bit of depression, always surrounding my period. however, after seeing what ppd did to me, dd, my marriage, our finances, and our lives in general, i'm just not so sure i want to go there again, particularly because i'm not even feeling great on paxil. i'd have to wean first, and totally don't feel ready for that at all. i don't want to be on this for the rest of my life, and i'm sure the horomes will level out after dd weans (no time soon). dh is also very reluctant to ttc. the whole thing was terrifying for him, and he took a lot of time off work to help me. he's in a new job now with significantly less flexibility, so the fact that i really wouldn't be able to count on him from 8-5 every day plus a lot of nights and weekends is another downer. we're a lot closer to my mom and dad now (2.5 vs. 7 hours), and i know my mom would help in a heart beat, but she works a couple days a week and has a life....i don't want my life to take over hers.
i also just don't have a lot of faith in my body now, either. i have a 2 inch diastasis (my abdominal muscles are 2 inches apart). i've seen a trainer and been on a fitness plan, but it has not improved. i can not run or laugh hard or sneeze without wetting myself. i've been doing kegals religiously since before dd was born and when my midwife checked my pelvic muscles, they were so weak that she couldn't even tell i was squeezing them when she was doing the exam at my last appointment. when i'm done having babies i'll need a bladder suspension. for now i just pretty much constantly have a wet pad in my underwear all of the time. i'm not in any sort of good shape since we moved out of the city and away from our 100percent walking lifestyle two months ago too.
i'm 25 and feel like i'm all kinds of not together, physically and mentally. i thought i'd hit this point maybe after baby 5, not one!
i'd really like to hear what other women have to say about babies after ppd.
thanks!
i also just don't have a lot of faith in my body now, either. i have a 2 inch diastasis (my abdominal muscles are 2 inches apart). i've seen a trainer and been on a fitness plan, but it has not improved. i can not run or laugh hard or sneeze without wetting myself. i've been doing kegals religiously since before dd was born and when my midwife checked my pelvic muscles, they were so weak that she couldn't even tell i was squeezing them when she was doing the exam at my last appointment. when i'm done having babies i'll need a bladder suspension. for now i just pretty much constantly have a wet pad in my underwear all of the time. i'm not in any sort of good shape since we moved out of the city and away from our 100percent walking lifestyle two months ago too.
i'm 25 and feel like i'm all kinds of not together, physically and mentally. i thought i'd hit this point maybe after baby 5, not one!
i'd really like to hear what other women have to say about babies after ppd.
thanks!
