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Originally Posted by homeschoolingmama
 I am always afraid of offending. What if I say black and it is more politically correct to say African American? What if I say the wrong thing and hurt someone's feelings? <snip>
I mean no disrespect by this post at all! I guess I worry about hurting feelings or saying the wrong thing. |
2 things seem to create kind of a spectrum: OVER-thinking to the point of fear and worry about mis-stepping coupled with analyzing our thoughts and actions to the point of not knowing what is authentic or ok... OR not thinking (or TRYING not to think) about race-issues at ALL, and winging it to the point where things that can be very hurtful or loaded are said out of downright inexperience/naivette.
Everyone has different buttons. What may be ok to talk about amongst my friends IRL seems to get me in touble online. Things I discuss online might be really loaded and uncomfortable for my husband (dh is very dark S.E. Asian, and is oft mistaken for AA) and I have had to weather some stormy evenings due to sharing things with him that have made him really frustrated.
I think that's part of the 'fear' that some folks feel... not necessarily always a mortal fear for their safety or something, but sometimes maybe a fear of misstepping and having someone react in a manner reflecting their offense... maybe getting yelled at or snubbed as 'ignorant'...
But, again, isn't it far far worse NOT to have these discussions? Isn't it worse if we don't ask the tough questions, and have the uncomfortable discussions?
I have never been as uncomfortable as I have been after being involved in that workshop... it caused me to really look at my own take on things, my experience, and also those of people around me... I, subsequently, have engaged in a number of discussions along this line with a variety of friends and family members from anywhere on the skin-tone-perception spectrum, and tho I have a richer experience, via THIER experiences, I'm no closer to resolving that discomfort... because it's part of change. Change I didn't realize I was part of. Change that is happening at the familial, communal, national, and global level...
We're changing. The world may not be as spectacularly free of racism as we hoped it would be by now, but it's changing... I hope, getting better year by year... and that change isn't a comfortable one. It requires all of us to really examine where we come from internally in our perceptions of race.
Can we honor eachother for the people we are, accepting but not focusing on one's skin-color; honoring eachother's journeys with the knowledege that our skin-color may be part of that journey, but isn't the journey itself?
What does a perfect world look like?
Peace
